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Looking for personal statement feedback

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Hello,

I have a relatively rough draft that I was hoping someone could take a look over. I feel like I could use some help making it flow and also ordering the topics that I am writing about. Of course, any and all feedback is welcome and appreciated (seriously, if it's terrible please just shred me over it because I'll redo the whole thing if I have to)

 

Thank you so much in advance! This forum has been a massive help with the application process.

-Ethan

 

EDIT: I don't want to post it publicly just since I've heard stories about anti-plagiarism software catching stuff from this website.

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