CCRAV00G Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 I am posting this in the PA student forum and not Pre-PA as I am right now, because Im looking for fellow students who were in my shoes and found a solution to the dilemma. So, to be brief I am 25 years old, I work at a level one trauma center which is very busy for 5 years in Oklahoma I have a total of 6 years in the health care field as of right now. When I was 23 I bought a brand new house then got married to my high school sweet heart then enrolled back into school (I took few years off because I didnt think nursing was for me) I was a nursing major for 2 years. I will be finishing up my degree next spring then finish up the pre-reqs Im short for PA school. I plan on applying to 8 school,7 out of state. Here is my dilemma I asked my wife what is here opinion on leaving the state for school, she said I dont care, whatever happens.. Now, we have been together for years and Im starting to realize theres always something behind those comments. I have a feeling she doesnt want to leave if I get accepted into a program out of state, because family and friends I tell her its for our future. So, I asked if she would like me to just apply to OU which has a great program I would love to go there,(cheaper,and wouldnt have to move), but my odds are limited if I just apply to one school. I know we have time and we'll talk about it more, but if i had others advice and how they got through this little bump,I could make a better decision. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Steve Posted February 3, 2012 Share Posted February 3, 2012 1. Walk away from the computer and go talk to her. 2. Continue to foster, farm, develop lines of communication with her. 3. Talk with her about your thought process. 4. Accept her at face value when she says "go for it". Being scrutinized for ulterior motives/thoughts is uncomfortable and annoying. 5. If that above 4 ideas don't fit, consider couples counseling. People exercise to stay healthy, we do preventative maintenance on our vehicles, we even go see medical professionals for annual check ups. But for some unfathomable reason, we think going to see a marriage counselor means there is something wrong in the relationship. Nonsense. 6. My point? Sometimes the answer doesn't lie within the internet. This is a personal matter that you and your spouse need to find the answer that BEST fits you. Whatever suggestions you gather out here in the internet may or may not fit your particular situation. There are so many variables, and only side of the story. Our situation of me living away at school during the week and coming home on weekends may or may not work for YOU. Go talk with her, not us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corpsman2PA Posted February 3, 2012 Share Posted February 3, 2012 I agree with Just Steve...its a very tough situation, and one that you need to have a heart to heart with her on. My wife was on board with out of state PA school...that is until she got a great job, AND I got accepted to an out of state PA school...point is, things change and we're in the process of adapting and tweaking our plan. We've been through the long-distance before, so we know we can do it, but its just a matter of whats best for the relationship. When in doubt, family wins. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Planteater Posted February 3, 2012 Share Posted February 3, 2012 "When in doubt, family wins" x 10000. I may not be in school yet, but I have a very happy 11 years of marriage under my belt. I will be separated from my husband and kids many days of the week through PA school (it is 70 miles from our house and we aren't moving). However, we have talked a lot about the whole situation and how we're going to handle it. I have gone back and forth about whether this is the best thing for my kids and the only person on this earth who can give me the support and encouragement I need to take this step is my husband- the father of my children. Thank goodness he wants this for me as much as I do! I will say, that when a woman says "I don't care" it is not usually a good sign. I know that when I agree with something my husband wants to do, I don't use that phrase. But, like Steve said, you need to be talking to her about that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craigk Posted February 3, 2012 Share Posted February 3, 2012 I agree with the others, talk to her and not just ask if its ok, ask her what she thinks, how she feels. The one piece of advice I give every prospective PA student is make sure you home life is secure. PA school will expose and expand any, ANY, issues that may be under the surface. I speak from experience since my relationship ended after the 1st year of PA school. What we thought was strong was not strong enough. Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ToppDog Posted February 4, 2012 Share Posted February 4, 2012 Agree with all the above. I will add this, though... if your wife agrees to moving as a last resort, then I would apply to all the schools you planned to, & then try to hold out for an acceptance from the one in-state school. You are right that you would be limiting your chances by only applying to one school, but the in-state school may take you more serious if they see you are applying to multiple schools out of state, & that could better your odds at getting into the in-state school. Hope everything works out. Good Luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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