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Most absurd patient complaint ever?


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After working in primary care for 3 years, I have learned that the patients who value me the most and have the best reports about their visits with me are those who are educated and intelligent. Those who are poorly educated view me less favorably. Unfortunately, when you treat primarily poor people, the things that make a provider valuable go unappreciated because people don't have the intelligence to know when they have received something of value. I keep making an issue of having independent practice rights in all fifty states. If PAs could hang their own shingle, they could cater (market) to a certain targeted group who would most benefit and value what is provided. Today, practices what to be all things to all people. It is a bad approach. I think primary care could be fun again under circumstances where the PA determines how patients are scheduled, what patients are accepted into the practice, what the PA will treat and not treat, and the PA sets prices. Do more valued work for a premium price for fewer people. 

 

 

No one gets to do this but high dollar plastic surgeons.

 

I find it insulting that you don't want to help people. Your posts have always been degrading to me and I don't care for your attitude toward practice.

I seriously wish you would find another profession and move on since you hate this so much.

 

Educating a person and taking care of ALL people is truly part of the basis of medicine and the Hippocratic Oath.

 

The light hearted purpose of this thread was lost on you and you, once again, turned it to political and negative.

 

ALL people matter, educated or not and they deserve the same care from me regardless.

 

I took that to heart when I chose the profession 25+ years ago.

 

These are just my opinions and the thread needs to go back to its original intent.

 

I am done with you

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A doc I worked with years ago swore he was putting together a book entitied "You put what...where? Why?"

I had another guy keep putting pencil lead and razor blades in his urethra. When I asked why. He said, " the voices told me to." I then said, " I don't care what voices tells me to, I'm not putting anything in my penis." Then I looked over and seen a lady in the room. I asked her who she was and she said his ex wife. I then told him, "you ever wonder why she's your ex?" Then, they both laughed.

 

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N920A using Tapatalk

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Had a male patient ask to be tested for bacterial vaginosis.

 

Much like the youngster at the military college that came in asking for HIS Pap...our doc was going to accommodate him, until we explained what would occur.

 

Had one first thing yesterday that actually go me rethinking how I prejudge what I think an encounter is going to look like.  40 yo, very out of shape lady (275lbs out of shape) complained of bilateral leg pain x 5 days after working out on an elliptical for (a mere I'm thinking) 15 minutes for the first time in an incalculable age...nothing would help the pain, including some physio...gave her a toradol shot and did some labs.  CK had to be diluted about 4 times before the result settled at 40,783, so I ate some humble pie and gave them a Mulligan on that and admitted them.  Got me to thinking though, that I'm pretty lucky to be able to walk around, that I'm in reasonable shape and so bounce back (as well a 48 year old can) when I'm walking or hiking with the dogs, out for a run, lifting weights, etc and how that affects how I think about people that are essentially paying my salary by not being able to do those things safely...just don't get me going about how they let themselves get that way in the first place.

 

Now back to the regularly scheduled programming :-D.

 

SK

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Had a male patient ask to be tested for bacterial vaginosis.

 

 

i had a male come in with his girlfriends underwear and asked it to be tested for semen.  He thought she was fooling around on him so he lurked on her underwear.  I told it would cost thousands of dollars and he had to pay cash.  Then I educated him on the menstrual cycle, female secretions including leukorrhea, and referred him and his girlfriend to couples counseling.  

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I had a patient call my clinic manager and complain that I asked him (adult male) to take his shirt off so I could listen to his heart and lungs.  He stated (secondhand info, obviously) that every other doctor he'd ever had had only ever listened through his shirt.

 

I was floored.  Not that there were lazy providers out there, but that someone, even with ulterior motives (which I suspect but won't go into here) would try and complain about standard-of-care care.

Must be the stache dude, shave it. J/K...half heartedly. Why take it so personal? Some people are outliers. My better half told me a funny story recently. A mother brought her kid in b/c she bit into her necklace and a bead got stuck between her teeth (don't ask). She went to emergency and the doctor/practitioner gave her antibiotics. My better half laughed when she saw this, removed the bead and sent her home no charge. So, there you go. Even medical professionals can be pretty silly too.

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I had a mom sign in all 3 of her kids to the ED for a "tick removal".  After an extensive skin exam on all kids, I was finally able to convince the mom (an RN) that all of her kids had freckles from playing outside at summer camp, and not an extensive number of attached ticks.  Took me showing her a magnified freckle with the Woods Lamp to get her to believe me.

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SK732.   In Afghanistan I did MEDEVAC.  I picked up the same person 2x in Kabul for hemorrhoids!!  I get out of the helicopter and there is a 40 something y/o female standing there with her pack, both times.  They called MEDEVAC for it!! 

 

Wish we had a head shaking emoji...so many stupid people, not enough live ammo.

 

My condolences.

 

SK

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Had someone yesterday come in because their doc insisted that the irritant dermatitis they had was SSSS and they needed stat IV ABx, because the clox they were taking was clearly not making any difference.  I believe the quote was "overwhelming,aggressive Staph infection" from the chart note we got.  Just to make sure I wasn't smoking crack, I had a second set of eyes on the rash...my SP had this rather incredulous look on his face after.  Incidentally, no swabs were taken by the PCP to ensure that it weren't MRSA, much less any blood work or even an attempt at clearing up the rash with some steroid...dude washed his hands with paint thinner and oddly enough, with the cold dry weather here, the skin started cracking and peeling.

 

SK

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Not a complaint against me -- Just general oddity - a kid - I am old enough to be his Mom - got mad because I wouldn't sign off on his Paramedic training certificate with untreated narcolepsy.

 

He came in with all these complaints and what sounds exactly like cataplexy and sleep paralysis. Sent him off to see a sleep specialist who obviously recommended a study with EEG and he doesn't think it is really required.

 

Do you want this guy driving your grandma in a box when he suddenly falls asleep?...... He really doesn't get it.

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Had a dude complain that I didn't maintain eye contact with him while doing a hernia check...

 

Had a lady complain that I put on gloves to examine her pelvic area. Said It was insulting because it insinuated that I thought she was dirty...

 

Had a patient try to dress me down in the hallway outside the restroom for not washing my hands. I was standing there staring blankly at him vigorously rubbing the high strength hand sanitizer in from the wall mounted dispenser as he stood there ranting.

 

I then explained to him what I was doing, then pointed out the wall mounted dispensers every 30 ft along the hallway.

 

He left and went and complained to the patient advocate.

 

The patient advocate then complained to my boss. My boss then complained to me.

 

They then the the ID nurse involved.

She suggested that the patient was correct. And that I complete a handwashing class.

 

I then went to the OFFICIAL hospital policy on hand washing... printed out a buck of copies of it, Highlighted the parts that demonstrated that I was indeed correct... then interoffice mailed each and everyone of them a copy.

 

Then copy and pasted the policy in a email to all of them and asked which one of them was going to call the patient inform him he was wrong and educate him on the use of the dispensers THEY require use to use.

 

Crickets chirping....!

 

: - l

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Had a young troop try embarrassing me in front of my subordinates for not giving him time off for a non-thrombosed hemorrhoid...I was less than polite with him (in private) - I told him it was obvious he wasn't used to any sort of physical discomfort and wondered out loud if he'd be one of those guys that would try to call in a CASEVAC in Afghanistan because his bum was a little sore...and that I'd be having a chat with his Sgt Maj about his insubordinate behaviour.

 

Problem solved, problem staying solved.

 

SK

Chair force guy??

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Had a patient try to dress me down in the hallway outside the restroom for not washing my hands. I was standing there staring blankly at him vigorously rubbing the high strength hand sanitizer in from the wall mounted dispenser as he stood there ranting.

 

 

This reminds me of a hospital patient I interacted with as a student. I applied wall-mounted hospital-grade hand sanitizer prior to entry. Patient requested that I wash my hands. After washing a full 30 seconds, I applied gloves. They requested that I remove them and apply sanitizer. She was dead serious and wouldn't let me examine her nor listen to her heart and lungs. After discussion, I complied so that I could finish and get to my case on time. Meanwhile, the attending surgeon walks in, touches them without any of the above except gloves and she doesn't make a peep. He had a good laugh at me.

 

I'm glad she didn't even acknowledge my stethoscope having only been wiped by an alcohol pad. *Gasp*

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