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Need advice on PA school and my relationship

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So I'm in quite the conundrum. I have had interview invites at all 12 of the schools I have applied to (overkill, but I have a low GPA) - After my 5th interview, I have 4 waitlists and 1 acceptance. My acceptance is at a program that starts in January 2017 - I initially thought it was January 2018 - and the deposit is $1000. Fantastic, but here is where the issue is - I moved to and am currently with my fiance in Chicago whilst he is doing a 1 year fellowship to be completed in June 2017. He's really upset about this acceptance because he doesn't want to do long distance an extra 6 months early, especially with scarcity of vacation days on his end during the fellowship. He has already landed a job in another state and specifically chose a night job (1 week on 1 week off) so he would have time to come see me come June 2017 for the rest of my PA program. 

 

The dilemma is, should I decline this acceptance and hope I get accepted/off the waitlist at one of my other 11 schools (a few ranked very high) possibly waiting until May to get off a waitlist, or go ahead and put down the deposit and if I receive no other direct acceptance attend this unranked program. It's just that my fiance is so much more troubled by this than I anticipated and I already feel like he is making his compromise by taking a night job that will set him back in his career to make this relationship work. 

 

Thanks in advance. 

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In the long run, what is $1000 and what is really the difference of an extra 6 months?  For that matter, ranking of a program means nothing either.  Zero employers are going to care about what your program was ranked at.

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He shouldn't get upset that you got accepted to a program and has to do long distance 6 months earlier. Just know he chose to pick a night job. You didn't make him. Do what's best for you! If you think about it, either way you're spending ~2 years apart, now you just start the long distance 6 months earlier.

 

I've heard differing opinions about ranking/quality of schools. I've heard some physicians tell me they would prefer the PA who went to a reputable program if it was between 2 new grads, but prefer the one with more experience. I've also heard PA's say that they were offered employment, interview or resident opportunities because of the program they attended.

 

In all honesty, if you look at the likelihood, yes, you probably WILL get into one of the other 11 schools. So if you wanted to wait...you probably would get into another program that's not a Jan 2017 start.

 

Just make sure whatever decision you make, you are comfortable and can live with it. You don't owe anyone anything. Good luck!

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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There is never a guarantee of getting in somewhere else.  Put down the deposit and start making plans to attend starting Jan 2017.  

 

You could, in theory, see if that program will let you defer a year but you'd have to have a really good reason to do so and 'your bf doesn't want to do long distance' is not a good reason.

 

It's great that you guys have a plan in place for how to make things work while you're in school, but I'm not sure you're being realistic about what kind of free time you'll have when he visits you.  He may find himself just as upset visiting and you spending all your time in class or studying.  He chose to take a job that would set him back in his career; you are not obliged to do the same.  You've been accepted.  Attend.  

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Biggest problem with this is that your fiancé is upset about your acceptance. That's asinine.

 

That's what bothers me too. Sure the program's not the best timing, it's on the expensive side, and it's unranked, but it's still an acceptance that I've been patiently working for. 

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Sounds like you know what needs to be done. Life is too short. Congratulations on your acceptance. Celebrate, enjoy your life, and most important, be happy!

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If it makes you feel any better, I have been accepted to the same school I think you're talking about (I recognize your name from that forum). I have two more interviews coming up and I am an alternate at another school, so I was hesitant about paying the fee, too. But, I decided to go ahead and secure my seat. While I don't face the same long distance issues you do, I can tell you that at the end of the day, worst case scenario, you'll be a PA. I also know many, many people who have graduated from this PA school who were hired immediately after graduating. Additionally, because it is such an early start, you'll be able to finish the program quicker, and start making money sooner to pay off the debt. I know a ton of people who even chose this school over the other schools in the state for this very reason. Additionally, the amount of applicants this school had this year is three times as many as they had last year, which should make you feel so proud of yourself for this amazing accomplishment. I wish you the best, and hopefully we end up being classmates :)

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So I'm in quite the conundrum. I have had interview invites at all 12 of the schools I have applied to (overkill, but I have a low GPA) - After my 5th interview, I have 4 waitlists and 1 acceptance. My acceptance is at a program that starts in January 2017 - I initially thought it was January 2018 - and the deposit is $1000. Fantastic, but here is where the issue is - I moved to and am currently with my fiance in Chicago whilst he is doing a 1 year fellowship to be completed in June 2017. He's really upset about this acceptance because he doesn't want to do long distance an extra 6 months early, especially with scarcity of vacation days on his end during the fellowship. He has already landed a job in another state and specifically chose a night job (1 week on 1 week off) so he would have time to come see me come June 2017 for the rest of my PA program. 

 

The dilemma is, should I decline this acceptance and hope I get accepted/off the waitlist at one of my other 11 schools (a few ranked very high) possibly waiting until May to get off a waitlist, or go ahead and put down the deposit and if I receive no other direct acceptance attend this unranked program. It's just that my fiance is so much more troubled by this than I anticipated and I already feel like he is making his compromise by taking a night job that will set him back in his career to make this relationship work. 

 

Thanks in advance. 

 

 

I'm not sure what to tell you BUT, this is ultimately your decision. 3 years ago my wife [then fiancee] moved out of state for a job. We were separated for three years and i came to visit her often and she did too. She moved for a job. The plan was she'd come back when i was ready or move with me to where I got accepted. The thing  you have to ask yourself is, what's more important to you? this person or your career? because these are things you guys should've talked over way before now. Then again I've known my wife for 6yrs so we already understand each other in a lot of things especially because we've had most of the 'what if' conversations. Communication is probably THE most important part of a relationship IMO. 

Long story short, we got married last year, and she came back with me because she was tired of waiting for the PA school I'd get in. She gave up her job (she's an NP making 6 figures) for that. Sometimes you have to take somethings on faith as well. I have interviews for two schools in the state we are in currently coming up. I'm confident i'll get one and everything will work out. We can move where ever we want after my education. When we were dating, i was instrumental in her education when a lot of people turned their back on her because I loved her. Her position is, love is everything. If it was meant to be, it'll work out, if not then it was not meant to be.

Your fiance being angry at you accepting a school knowing what the stakes are and how competitive the PA applications are becoming is a little disappointing. I put my wife above me in almost everything, she has done the same for me. 

 

In other words, my biggest concern is being happy, instead of getting ahead. Pursuing PA school, money is the last thing on the list of WHY i'm doing it. I'm an immigrant, so I see a lot of things differently. I've never made my own money until i came to this country. So, you have to decide whats more important to you.

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I spent five years in the military, most of that far far away from my then-girlfriend, then-fiancée, now-wife (married five years). I can't overstate how tough it was but we definitely know what our relationship is made of. Obviously it's up to you and your partner to rank your priorities and define your envelope of acceptable compromise. But for what it's worth, it's very unlikely that six months of long distance will be the toughest test of a young marriage. On the other hand if you were this successful on your first attempt you may be comfortable deferring your dream a year longer. I empathize with you and your fiancé's tough decisions and wish you the luck and insight you need to make the best choice. :)

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So I'm in quite the conundrum. I have had interview invites at all 12 of the schools I have applied to (overkill, but I have a low GPA) - After my 5th interview, I have 4 waitlists and 1 acceptance. My acceptance is at a program that starts in January 2017 - I initially thought it was January 2018 - and the deposit is $1000. Fantastic, but here is where the issue is - I moved to and am currently with my fiance in Chicago whilst he is doing a 1 year fellowship to be completed in June 2017. He's really upset about this acceptance because he doesn't want to do long distance an extra 6 months early, especially with scarcity of vacation days on his end during the fellowship. He has already landed a job in another state and specifically chose a night job (1 week on 1 week off) so he would have time to come see me come June 2017 for the rest of my PA program. 

 

The dilemma is, should I decline this acceptance and hope I get accepted/off the waitlist at one of my other 11 schools (a few ranked very high) possibly waiting until May to get off a waitlist, or go ahead and put down the deposit and if I receive no other direct acceptance attend this unranked program. It's just that my fiance is so much more troubled by this than I anticipated and I already feel like he is making his compromise by taking a night job that will set him back in his career to make this relationship work. 

 

Thanks in advance. 

How low was your GPA?

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*raises hand* I did long distance for 5 years while my husband was in the military. It can be done. You will be busy, he will be busy, it's probably a relatively ideal time to be long distance, honestly, once you get in a groove. The fact that he's upset is a red flag to me. Instead of being a TEAM player (cuz ya'all are a team when you get married), and saying "we'll make this work, I'm proud of you", he's angry. It stems from something--an insecurity, maybe? Or perhaps he feels entitled to his career over yours?

 

We've been married almost 8 years. It's a drop in the bucket and when you get out, you'll be in a good place! Plus, you still have options. But now you have a seat if they don't pan out. The whole "one in the hand is worth two in the bush" thing.

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^ second the above poster. My husband is in the military, and I have also been accepted to a program far from him that begins in January. It is less than ideal that we will be separated, but I am hopeful that we will be able to both focus on what we have to get through (mil stuff and school). It is really a perspective thing, and we are trying to approach it with the "drop in the bucket" mindset, too. It is a frustrating and emotionally charged decision, but regardless, ya gotta be on the same page and same team. Always!

 

Good luck!

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How low was your GPA?

3.3 for both science and cumulative. I've no other direct offers from the other programs that I have interviewed at thus far, so it looks like the January program it is!

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3.3 for both science and cumulative. I've no other direct offers from the other programs that I have interviewed at thus far, so it looks like the January program it is!

Ee, congrats on PA school!!

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