Pleassse give me imput on my personal statement!

[njourney]

This is a really really REALLY rough copy, but I have been struggling to be able to put my thoughts into words. Please give me imput on what I should add, subtract, or just totally change. I appreciate your help!

 

I had always been jealous of the people who knew exactly what they wanted to do with their lives. I never thought I fit into that category, as I spent the last five years in college attempting to find a major I was passionate about. But throughout those five years, I had just been fighting what I was destined to do, all because I thought I could not handle it. I was meant to be a Physician Assistant.

For most of my life, I had always been the person that would clean cuts, dress wounds, and ice sprained ankles. I loved the adrenaline and responsibility of each moment. I have had many experiences in my life that reinforced my career path, but a few have stuck out more than the others. My first real inclination that my fate was to work with people was when I was about twelve years old. I was volunteering with my local hospital, for only a few days, when I was enlisted with the special task of caring for a baby boy. His mother had been addicted to drugs when she was pregnant. For the entire summer, from nine to five, I was responsible for caring for him and watched as the nurses weaned him off of the drugs. This job gave me a feeling of accomplishment and meaning.

After that, I knew I wanted to pursue a career in medicine. Unfortunately, one bad experience with an IV, when I was thirteen, derailed my plans and made me believe that there was no way I could fulfill my duties as a Physician Assistant. But experiences continued to tell me otherwise. Two experiences, in particular, impacted me. The first occurred at the beginning of last year when my father had been outside working in the shed. I had been watching television when, all of a sudden, he came inside holding a bloody towel around his hand and a shocked look on his face. The sight of blood had never disturbed me, but by the look on his face I knew it was serious and drove him to the emergency room. It turned out that he cut off part of his middle finger. I sat and watched as the Physician Assistant stitched his finger back together and gave instructions on how to clean and dress it. For the next two weeks, I cleaned and redressed his finger.

The following summer, my boyfriend’s sister had a seizure due to her epilepsy. This was the first seizure I had ever experienced. While many people’s reactions were to stand in horror, I reacted calmly by placing a pillow under her head and rolling her onto her side to aide her breathing. I sat next to her until it passed, soothing her and telling her everything was okay. It may not have been much, but I had to do something. This experience solidified the idea that this was what I was meant to do and no irrational fear of needles was going to stop me.

My life feels fulfilled when I am working with people. Even though I have struggled to realize what I should do with my life, I know that this is the right path for me. I believe that a Physician Assistant is an invaluable asset to the community and provides an opportunity to positively impact people around me. Not only do I love the idea of being able to treat and diagnose patients, but I also thrive on the idea of making a difference in someone’s life. I may have tried to reject my purpose in this world, but after searching for something that I was even close to as passionate about, I know that this is what I am supposed to do.

[mktalon]

 

I spent the last five years in college attempting to find a major I was passionate about.

 

The "last" five years? How many years did you spend in college? This was confusing and immediately pulled me out of you narrative. It wasn't worth trying to get back into it. You admitted yourself that this is a very very rough copy. Spend more time on it first and then post when you aren't basically asking us to write it for you. And yes, stay away from the "fate" theme. You spend your whole essay convincing us that you SHOULDN'T be a PA, but fate has its own mind set. You're not going to get very far with this theme...

[Beorp]

"For most of my life, I had always been the person that would clean cuts, dress wounds, and ice sprained ankles. I loved the adrenaline and responsibility of each moment."

 

Adrenaline from doing basic first aid? To me, this example, and much of the narrative, reads like you lack any true HCE, but you're attempting to use first aid experience instead.

[mktalon]

"...as I peeled apart the scooby-doo band aide I could feel the adrenaline rushing through my veins. The responsibility was overwhelming as I had to place it precisely over the boo-boo." This is kind of how it sounded in my head while I was reading it. Try to find experiences that involve a little more responsibility... even if they aren't health care related. You still sound like you are that 12 year old. Speaking of that, so you were able to volunteer at 12 years old, what kind of responsibilities were given when taking care of this child? I've just never heard of a 12 year old being given 9 - 5 responsibility like that. Good or bad, there are schools that don't require a health care experience. If these examples are you best experiences in health care, focus more on other non-health care things you have done that will communicate more maturity and professional development and then apply to schools that don't require HCE.