Last Proofread Before Applying. Any critique would be appreciated and returned if wanted!

[jsaldarr]

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[Researcher01]

First Paragraph is very captivating. Typo in sentence 5, *trying. Also I think the colon should be a semicolon, or you could consider making it two sentences as it is a very long sentence. The last sentence is also a bit dense and difficult to read. Try reading it aloud and you may hear it. Maybe try paraphrasing it like: Compassion comes forward with the realization that our purpose is to liberate patient's from their suffering.

 

Second paragraph first sentence is off-putting. I know you contradict it in the second sentence, but making the first thought a reader sees is that you did not have one moment, does not provide a positive first impression. The next sentences are then just making up for it. The colon in this paragraph should be a comma or semicolon at most. 

 

Third paragraph starts off very well and is engaging and creative. When you discuss helping under-served populations, the statements are very generic. It would have more impact if you had more personal experience/stories to show how you care rather than telling. 

 

The final paragraph does a good job of summing the essay and giving closure, but it does feel generic. It would be nice if it was more personal to you. I think that would stand out more than the generic statement that your experience makes you a good candidate to be a PA. 

 

Hope this helps as some suggestions, but do take them all with a grain of salt.