jaygaz Posted July 15, 2016 This is the description I am using for CASPA for my non-paid position at a food pantry: - Worked with a growing non-profit whose mission is to reduce food insecurity in the community through regular food distributions. - Conducted a needs assessment to determine prevalence of food insecurity and other related factors. Data collection included quantitative and qualitative research methods. - Project manager and primary coordinator for a large-scale donation collection. Organized logistics, recruited volunteers, and oversaw marketing efforts. - Wrote a successful grant proposal to obtain additional supplies to support organizational growth. Does this seem like health care experience, or just volunteer? I know food insecurity is a public health problem, but I'm not sure this qualifies as health care experience. Thanks!
Administrator rev ronin Posted July 15, 2016 Administrator - Worked with a growing non-profit whose mission is to reduce food insecurity in the community through regular food distributions. - Conducted a needs assessment to determine prevalence of food insecurity and other related factors. Data collection included quantitative and qualitative research methods. - Project manager and primary coordinator for a large-scale donation collection. Organized logistics, recruited volunteers, and oversaw marketing efforts. - Wrote a successful grant proposal to obtain additional supplies to support organizational growth. Try "Worked with(1) a non-profit food bank(2) to collect and analyze hunger data. Managed volunteers while leading marketing and logistics efforts for large-scale collection. Authored successful grant proposal in support of these efforts." (1) I prefer a more specific verb, but don't have the info to do that with your post. (2) or meals on wheels, whichever. Brevity is not only the soul of wit, but essential in not getting your audience (the Adcom) to zone out in your accomplishments. Didn't do a word count, but I think I cut your verbiage 50% without losing anything important, and getting rid of most of your passive voice. Bet if we worked together, I could cut another 10% down. Moral of the story? Hire a good editor if you aren't one. :-)
jaygaz Posted July 15, 2016 Author Try "Worked with(1) a non-profit food bank(2) to collect and analyze hunger data. Managed volunteers while leading marketing and logistics efforts for large-scale collection. Authored successful grant proposal in support of these efforts." (1) I prefer a more specific verb, but don't have the info to do that with your post. (2) or meals on wheels, whichever. Brevity is not only the soul of wit, but essential in not getting your audience (the Adcom) to zone out in your accomplishments. Didn't do a word count, but I think I cut your verbiage 50% without losing anything important, and getting rid of most of your passive voice. Bet if we worked together, I could cut another 10% down. Moral of the story? Hire a good editor if you aren't one. :-) Thank you! Do you also recommend writing in a narrative format rather than a list? I thought lists would be easier to read for the adcom.
Administrator rev ronin Posted July 15, 2016 Administrator Thank you! Do you also recommend writing in a narrative format rather than a list? I thought lists would be easier to read for the adcom. It depends. If I can shorten it into a compact paragraph like that, I tend to. I find that short bulleted lists often leave too much whitespace, so it's really situation-dependent.
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