Hi from a newbie - Trying to work on this personal statement thing

[aprilfromjapan]

Hi everyone! This is my first post here, but I've been around a lot, reading all the great information that's available on here. I'm almost done with my first-time PA school application...pretty much all I have left is my personal statement...which is turning kind of nightmarish. I feel like it's ultra-lame, overdramatic, does too much telling and not enough showing, and is generally just awful. Ha. And...I really want to get this whole thing done, submitted, and out of my hair by the end of the week.
 
I welcome any comments. 

 

 
            I remember the first time I saw Grace, as she squeezed her small frame out of a small van that had carried 25 people for over eight hours from villages in northern Nigeria. Grace stood shyly behind her mother, a grin stretched across her face, as she looked around the compound where my team and I and the others who had arrived with her would spend the next 10 days dubbing a film into their language. I soon learned why Grace never spoke. Improper medical care at birth had caused brain damage that prevented her from learning to speak. Those few days I spent with Grace sent me on the path toward becoming a physician’s assistant, giving me a passion to help provide the kind of care needed to help others like Grace. 
 
Before I became an audio technician, I spent a few years pursuing a foggy ideal of going into the medical profession. But, lacking any clear direction, I went in a completely different direction. Ironically, it was in the audio technician field that I learned the medical profession was where I really wanted to go, and specifically becoming a physician’s assistant. My experiences confirmed my love for listening to and diagnosing others’ problems, how much I appreciate being able to consult expert advice as needed, and how I have always been and will always be learning and growing.
 
One thing I learned through my work as an audio technician, which has now carried over into my work as a medical assistant, is how vital active listening is. I remember as I was doing technical training, my trainer would stop a recording and ask if I had heard a certain click or microphone pop. In time, my critical listening skills developed and I learned how to listen for what is important. In my work now as a medical assistant, I see just how important listening is. Every day, I have to listen, understand, and interpret what patients are asking for or telling me. The ability to listen and interpret what I have heard is one of the most important jobs I believe I will have as a PA – to be able to get a full picture of what a patient is telling me so that I can accurately assess the issue they are presenting.
 
Something I have realized is that assessing issues alone is not enough, and analysis and follow-through is one part of the PA profession that is exciting to me. I never realized how much I loved troubleshooting and implementing solutions until I found myself on the far side of the planet with recording equipment that suddenly decided to stop working. It was actually exciting when problems came up and I had to diagnose the issue, figuring out when it started, what related issues might exist, and taking incremental steps to isolate the issue and find a solution. Eventually, I realized that, while diagnosing computer problems was exciting, the relationship was missing. Instead, I wanted to be applying those analysis-to-action skills with people, not machines.
 
Much as I love working out a problem and implementing steps to a solution, I strongly value the opportunity to draw on the expertise of others when needed, and that is one thing that has drawn me to the PA profession, rather than MD or DO school. My experience of growing up in a highly collaborative Asian culture has led me to deeply appreciate the value of consulting an expert when needed. While I always appreciated the challenge of diagnosing computer problems as an audio technician, I was never afraid to put in a call on the satellite phone to our U.S.-based IT department if a perplexing problem came up.
 
One thing that draws me to the PA profession is the opportunity it provides for lifelong learning and growth. I really appreciate that as a PA, I will have more flexibility to change specialties if I feel led in a new direction or see a need, more so than if I became a doctor or nurse practitioner. I have had a variety of jobs throughout my professional life, and have discovered what keeps me engaged and alive in my work life is when I am learning and honing new skills. This is one reason I have changed jobs somewhat frequently, but at the same time, I have craved stability. I believe the PA profession will allow me to have both; the option to grow in new areas, while at the same time giving the stability of a unified educational foundation and career direction.
 
I never imagined that first time I stepped off a plane in West Africa into a wall of muggy, dust-scented air, that my work there would lead me on the path to becoming a PA. The strengths I have in listening and diagnosis, team-based work, and my love of learning all fit perfectly into the roles and opportunities provided by the PA profession.

[TheFatMan]

Don't have much time for a full on critique, but it is physician assistant, not physician's assistant.