ESSAY! please help. i'll help others :)

[Nivlagm]

constructive criticism only please! we're all in this together.

 

A young mother ran into the ER with her limp two-year-old son in her arms. In between her tears and gasps for air, she explained how she was talking to her cheerful, happy son just minutes ago. The babysitter who followed behind mentioned the child had fallen backwards off the trampoline earlier in the afternoon. It wasn’t until the child began seizing and became unresponsive that she realized the fall could be related. Needing immediate attention, the physician and physician assistant, PA, on duty ran into the child’s room to begin assessing him. Within minutes, the neurologist and pediatrician were also in the room and the child was sent for a CT scan.  Although by now the child was in stable condition, his mom was still on edge. As only a high school volunteer, I continued to make my way around the ER to check on other patients. Each time I passed the boys room, I saw the PA talking to his mother and explaining what was to come.  I saw how her presence and conversation was calming the boy’s family. This was the moment I knew I wanted to do what they do, make people feel the way they made their patients feel. This was the moment I set my sights on becoming a PA myself.

            One experience that has further influenced by decision to become a physician assistant occurred while observing a total knee replacement. The man on the table had suffered with debilitating arthritis for much of his life, and this surgical team was about to give him a new start. I stood near by observing the sights, the sounds, and the smells. I watched how the physician and PA interacted.  I had expected the surgeon to take the lead and use Bill, the PA, as just an extra set of hands if he needed them. Instead I watched as Bill and the surgeon stood on opposite sides of the table assisting each other, communicating, and working as a team to ensure a successful surgery.

              Before this moment, I did not realize how much of an impact PAs have in the medical field. I spent the next several months shadowing Bill, in both office and surgical settings. We spent weekend mornings doing rounds in the hospital and I saw how the patients appreciated Bill, greeting us with hugs and smiles.  I watched that same patient, who was unconscious in the operating room just days earlier, take his first pain free step. It was clear to me that the role of the PA was just as important as any other and this experience assured me that I had made the right decision to pursue a PA profession.

            Shortly thereafter, I began working as an emergency room scribe.  My experiences as a scribe and working alongside physicians and PAs have been invaluable. Due to the hospital’s location in an area with an underserved population, this emergency room often serves as a place of primary care in addition to the critical patients and is full all hours of the day. This has created a fast-paced environment that requires quick thinking and has encouraged those of use working there to communicate and be confident in our skills. Assigned to a PA, Jackie, for the day, I followed her in and out of patient rooms.  We saw patients with symptoms ranging from stomachaches, leg pains, to chest pain and shortness of breath. I was in awe of her capability to treat, diagnose, and care for all patients, across many different areas of practice so swiftly and effectively. Jackie had worked in a private setting prior to transitioning to emergency medicine. I quickly realized how the ability to specialize and change specialties as a PA was a unique, yet advantageous, characteristic for a healthcare provider, further confirming why I chose this profession.

            My experiences, both professionally and personally, have shaped me into the person I am today and the PA I aspire to be. Although the journey to become a PA is never easy, I have learned more about myself and have seen that my true passion lies within patient care.  I have seen and understood just how crucial being compassionate and empathetic is in this field. During my experience, I have witnessed it is the PAs who have demonstrated these qualities, inspiring me to want to do the same. I am confident in my abilities to be a successful PA student, as well as a practicing PA. When I think back to all of the faces of patients I have already come in contact with, I am nothing but excited for a future as a physician assistant and all that is has in store. 

 

 

[pabound2016]

A young mother ran into the ER with her limp two-year-old son in her arms. In between her tears and gasps for air, she explained how she was talking to her cheerful, happy son just minutes ago. The babysitter who followed behind mentioned the child had fallen backwards off the trampoline earlier in the afternoon. It wasn’t until the child began seizing and became unresponsive that she realized the fall could be related. Needing immediate attention, the physician and physician assistant, PA, on duty ran into the child’s room to begin assessing him. Within minutes, the neurologist and pediatrician were also in the room and the child was sent for a CT scan. This sentence can be combined. "Needing immediate attention, the physician, physician Assistant (PA), neurologist, and pediatrician ran into the child's room to begin their assessment. Then talk about how the child was sent to CT  Although by now the child was in stable condition, his mom was still on edge. As only a high school volunteer, I continued to make my way around the ER to check on other patients. Each time I passed the boys room, I saw the PA talking to his mother and explaining what was to come.  I saw how her presence and conversation was calming the boy’s family. This was the moment I knew I wanted to do what they do, make people feel the way they made their patients feel. This was the moment I set my sights on becoming a PA myself. You can possibly address what additional skills you could have served as a PA to help that boy and talk about how limited you felt in your scope as a volunteer. This can provide the reader what you know about the PA profession. 

            One experience that has further influenced by my decision to become a physician assistant PA occurred while observing a total knee replacement. The man on the table had suffered with debilitating arthritis for much of his life, and this surgical team was about to give him a new start. I stood near by observing the sights, the sounds, and the smells. I watched how the physician and PA interacted.  I had expected the surgeon to take the lead and use Bill, the PA, as just an extra set of hands if he needed them. Instead I watched as Bill and the surgeon stood on opposite sides of the table assisting each other, communicating, and working as a team to ensure a successful surgery.

              Before this moment, I did not realize how much of an impact PAs have in the medical field. I spent the next several months shadowing Bill, in both office and surgical settings. We spent weekend mornings doing rounds in the hospital and I saw how the patients appreciated Bill, greeting us with hugs and smiles.  I watched that same patient, who was unconscious in the operating room just days earlier, take his first pain free step. It was clear to me that the role of the PA was just as important as any other and this experience assured me that I had made the right decision to pursue a PA profession. ​Is there anything specific that the PA did that made you realize how important the role is? Seeing patients smile and give hugs does not show what impact the PA did to help them get better. 

            Shortly thereafter, I began working as an emergency room scribe.  My experiences as a scribe and working alongside physicians and PAs have been invaluable. Due to the hospital’s location in an area with an underserved population, this emergency room often serves as a place of primary care in addition to the critical patients and is full all hours of the day. Separate this into another sentence.This has created a fast-paced environment that requires quick thinking and has encouraged those of use working there to communicate and be confident in our skills. Assigned to a PA, Jackie, for the day, I followed her in and out of patient rooms.  We saw patients with symptoms ranging from stomachaches, leg pains, to chest pain and shortness of breath. I was in awe of her capability to treat, diagnose, and care for all patients, across many different areas of practice so swiftly and effectively. Jackie had worked in a private setting prior to transitioning to emergency medicine. I quickly realized how the ability to specialize and change specialties as a PA was a unique, yet advantageous, characteristic for a healthcare provider, further confirming why I chose this profession. I very much enjoyed this paragraph as it introduced a real life experience reflecting how much you know about the profession. If you'd like, you can continue this paragraph and talk about the teamwork seen through this experience and have room to talk about something else from omitting the paragraph with Bill-just a suggestion. 

            My experiences, both professionally and personally, have shaped me into the person I am today and the PA I aspire to be. Although the journey to become a PA is never easy, I have learned more about myself and have seen that my true passion lies within patient care.  I have seen and understood just how crucial being compassionate and empathetic is in this field. During my experience, I have witnessed it is the PAs who have demonstrated these qualities, inspiring me to want to do the same. I am confident in my abilities to be a successful PA student, as well as a practicing PA. When I think back to all of the faces of patients I have already come in contact with, I am nothing but excited for a future as a physician assistant and all that is has in store.  

Personal Notes:
Although I enjoyed many of your experiences in the healthcare field and how it shaped your decision to want to enter the PA profession, I did not get a sense of who you are as a person. What about you makes you stand out from the other applicants? Like I suggested in my comments above, there are some places you can omit and use as space to talk about this. You can also choose to talk about a problem you noticed in the healthcare field and how you would help mitigate that as a PA yourself. Other things like being a first-generaiton American, growing up in an underserved community, etc. can be talked about and how it shaped you today in wanting to be a PA. 

Hopefully, you found some of my suggestions to be helpful. I would greatly appreciate it if you read mine as well and provide your own comments and suggestions in how I can improve mine. Mine has been recently posted in the Personal Statements sections of this website, but I can always PM it to you if you prefer it.