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Re-applicant. Rough Draft.

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Your story is cute In the first paragraph but some admission committees may find my version of cute their version of childish. I also found that it is a little hard to read and could use some better sentence structure. That being said, I think your diverse medical experiences are going to get you noticed. The way you use those experiences to show your impact on health care thus far is perfect. However, tie these examples in to the pa profession correlate them to the qualities of a pa. Finally, be more concise overall. After some time it's easy to get board reading words on a page. Find a way to keep the audience intrigued and give you an interview. Overall your theme is good and your passion is present. If you tweak it and read through over and over I think you will get a good final draft quickly.

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