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Very rough draft -- looking for guidance

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This is my first rough draft. The end is cheesy and I'm about 320 characters over the limit. I'm hoping for some feedback to guide my editing! I'd also be happy to do the same for anyone else if they want me to read theirs. Please and thank you!


Sometimes, one phone call is all it takes to turn your life upside down.  Everything can be going fine, and then you get that one phone call that tells you to get to the hospital because your uncle is losing his years long battle with colorectal cancer.  Six months later, another phone call pulls you away from an event at church because your grandmother is in the emergency room and being intubated.  And a few years later, you get another phone call that tells you to leave school immediately and drive home, because your grandfather is unresponsive and in the ICU because he suffered a spontaneous, arterial brain hemorrhage.  Unfortunately, for my family, all of these instances ended in us losing another family member.  But it was through all of these experiences that I came to the realization of what I wanted to do with the rest of my life.


My interest in the medical field began because of my mother’s work as an ER nurse.  Many days, she would come home and tell us about her day, and my interest was piqued.  In my sophomore year of high school, I learned of a new charter school, where the students were given the opportunity to intern at the hospital, and gain medical experience.  I jumped at this opportunity to be a part of the medical field, and never looked back.  As an intern in the emergency room, I had a window into how doctors, physician assistants, nurses, and technicians all worked together as a team to bring about the best outcomes for the patients.  I also had my first opportunity to work hands on with patients, and I found that I excelled in this environment.  I truly looked forward to going to my internship, and I sought ways to further the passion I had discovered.  In my senior year of high school, I completed an EMT-B program, and was certified by the time I graduated.  


As I looked back on some of my past experiences, I began to formulate an idea of what I wanted to do in life.  I knew that I wanted to be in the medical field based on my experiences interning in the ER and learning information and skills in my EMT program.  I enjoyed the science of medicine and how the doctors and PAs worked through the puzzles to determine what was wrong with a patient.  I also thought about the different conditions which my family members had passed away from, and all of these areas of medicine interested me.  In the ER, I also noticed that many of our patients were coming in with conditions that could have been prevented with good primary care, but their stations in life had prevented them from obtaining that care.  I knew that my true desire was to help these people, who weren’t in an area with lots of providers and care options, or who lived below the poverty line.  As I considered the different positions in healthcare, I began to see that physician assistants had the unique opportunity to provide care to these people, while making healthcare more affordable.  As I saw in later shadowing experiences, they had immense knowledge as primary care providers, given their generalist training, but also had the ability to work in specialized fields.  As I entered college, I had decided to become a physician assistant and to embody the role of this unique healthcare provider, and this passion only continued to grow.


While I entered college with a huge desire to one day become a PA, I quickly realized that passion alone wouldn’t carry me through a university level science curriculum.  My high school methods of studying didn’t work in college, and my grades began to suffer as a result.  Eventually, I learned the importance of time management and organization and I developed new study skills that allowed me to succeed in the sciences.  It was also in my freshman year that I began my first paid job in the healthcare field, as a nursing assistant in the float pool at one of the busiest hospitals in Southern California.  In this position, I learned how much I loved taking care of my patients and hearing their stories.  I also saw how incredibly important working as a team is in healthcare in the 21st century, and working in this team environment brought out my best self.  Even though this job required me to drive two hours away every weekend, I knew how important this job was in preparing me for my future as a PA. From the PAs I’ve shadowed, I’ve learned that the job is one of lifelong learning.  In my position as a nursing assistant, I seek out every learning opportunity I can find, from assisting with inserting catheters and PICC lines and performing EKGs, to watching a bronchoscopic lung biopsy or learning how to do EEGs.  Every day is an opportunity to learn something new and help patients get the best care.


I believe that my experiences make me a great fit for the role of a PA.  I love to learn, and I have found my best self brought out when working in team based healthcare.  But even more than that, I desire to become a well-trained provider, who is able to bring quality, primary care to those who are underserved and underprivileged, while making healthcare more affordable.  This is what the PA profession is all about, and it holds a truly unique and necessary role in the future of healthcare.  I am so excited to become a PA, to ensure that everyone is given quality healthcare and afforded the opportunity to live their best lives.




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