theblend Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 I have probably read every "pa vs md post" both on SDN as well as on PA forums. It is a very difficult decision and am hoping for some experienced advice about my particular situation. I am already 26 years old, married,and have a 4 year old daughter. I am now just a junior in a BS Public Health program and am completing all pre-reqs for MD and/or PA programs. I know that a career in medicine is my passion. I have worked in a hospital for about 5 years now as a telemetry/ekg/treadmill tech, my wife is a nurse. My dillema is that if I get accepted to a Med school in Michigan I would not have to pay tuition. this is because I qualify for the Michigan Indian Tuition Waiver. The major downside would be having to relocate my wife and daughter to Michigan with it's economic troubles, crime etc... for the 4 years of med school vs staying put and going to PA school here. My wife is terrified at leaving where she has lived her entire life and all of her and my friends and family. I know many many people have endured much harder times to get through med school than relocating with just one child, but I wanted to hear what you folks had to say. Is a nearly debt free MD worth increasing the stress on my marriage? And How can I possibly be sure that I wouldn't be just as happy as a PA even with the debt, but being able to keep my daughetr near all of her grandparents and in the same school district? I understand the major differences between PA and MD's roles and responsibilities, but I also read very mixed messages about the number of hours worked by each and the real benefit of the PA profession for people that value their family as much as their career. Thanks to all who read this. **I also posted this on SDN a few minutes ago in the PA section,under the same User name as here** Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Steve Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 1. Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy 2. IHS provides scholarships (if you are awarded it)for Native Americans to attend the PA school of their choice. I have a classmate who sits directly in front of me enjoying that very generous (comes with a stipend) scholarship right now. 3. Can always go to MD later if you feel PA isn't cutting it. There may even be a viable bridge program by the time you decide to go that route. I would not be surprised if I see myself eyeballing that route in a dozen or so years after my kids are on their way to college. 4. Med school is hard. Being a parent is hard. Being a med student with an unhappy wife and a recently uprooted child has got to be SUPER hard. PA school is no breeze but local support can make a world of difference 5. Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SCHMITTIE120 Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 I am from Michigan and recently moved for PA school. As long as you don't live in the more nasty parts of the state (Flint and certain areas of detroit) you will be fine. There are 3 great medcial schools (with 2-3 more in the works). UofM is in Ann Arbor which is a very fun town. MSU is in east lansing and grand rapids both of which are great cities (Grand Rapids being a better city for jobs) and then there is Wayne state in Detroit, but you can live in one of the suburbs around the city (Royal Oak is nice but a little pricey). OVerall Michigan is a great state, just has a couple bad areas like everywhere else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
medman2007 Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 I agree with PAMAC. At my age and life situation, the PA route was definitely the right choice for me. However, younger with less outside responsibilities - there is no way I'd pass up a virtually free MD education (assuming a solid, valid program of course). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jesscbv Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 To echo Just Steve: "Happy wife, happy life." Your family has to be on board for you to make this work. When I made the decision to go to PA school, my location, support system, and my husband were big factors in my decision process. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winterallsummer Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 Not to be an ***.. but what makes you think you are guaranteed a spot in either a PA or MD program in your state? What happens if you didn't get in either program except out of state? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theblend Posted October 22, 2011 Author Share Posted October 22, 2011 I know many docs have endured much worse than what I am looking at o get their MD. And to them it must have seemed absolutely necessary to get where they wanted. For me it is much more about finding the RIGHT balance between my passion for medicine and being with my family. I truly enjoy being in the hospital and around patients. **Even if I had to pay the entire cost of Med school I still don't know how to decide. My kid is 4 now, roughly 5 years to finish PA and she is only 9ish and I have a manageable debt AND the whole time I was in school we had our family nearby for support. MD track on the other hand, in about 6 years and I have just finished med school still have residency ahead of me. By the time I am picking my own hours and able to take time off when I want, my kid is a teenager. BUT I have a fraction the debt and an MD after my name. It seems like for every post I see about the PA profession being more family friendly and claiming to work less hours than an MD, I'll read another POST saying that the PA's have to work all the weekends, holidays and such that the MD doesn't want. So for the MD route am I simply trading family-absentness sooner rather than later as a PA? I have a few MD friends and they mostly say," go PA." Yet, I have a voice in my head saying go MD while at the same time looking for a reason to not go PA instead. Would I be doing a dis-service to myself, my family, or to all the people that if given my situation would jump in with both feet by not doing just that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theblend Posted October 22, 2011 Author Share Posted October 22, 2011 Not to be an ***.. but what makes you think you are guaranteed a spot in either a PA or MD program in your state? What happens if you didn't get in either program except out of state? Not a**-ish at all. Honestly, I don't feel the slightest guaranteed and I don't know. But I'm not trying to waste anyone's time by basing my questions off ridiculously low probablity events. I do have a 3.9 GPA, am a solid test taker for when the MCAT/GRE come around, I do great in interviews(at least when it comes to the job world.) I have Letters of recommendation from Department heads and Doctors at a local hosptial, and 5+ years clinical experience... With that said, in my home state there are only 2 PA programs within daily driving distance enrolling only 100 students/year. One program (Butler) gives special auto-addmission spots to their own alum for ~35 of their 60 openings. So it's very competitive. I don't know if even with a 4.0, 35 MCAT if I would get into U Mich, because they don't seem to accept many, if any IU undergrads according to mdapplicants.com. So the new PA program at IUPUI vs Michigan State Med School are my two most likely acceptances. Which is sort of the basis for my entire OP. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Steve Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 always the old trick of flipping a coin...it's not what shows on the coin toss, but rather your reaction to the results. In your first post, you chose to use the word "terrified" to describe your wife's thoughts on leaving her current living situation. You also described the overall situation of moving as a "major downside". These are significant words. Regardless if you chose them consciously or sub consciously, they do indicate the weight you are giving this situation. You know there will be circumstances that you will have to deal with. Are you willing/able to take time out of your school schedule once immersed into the program to tend to the issues at home should you move? Yes, people move all the time to start new lives. Military folks go on deployment, families are in flux all over the place. I get that. As a veteran and a family man who relocated his entire family (wife and three young kids) over 2000 miles, I am acutely aware of the stressors. Right now I am attending school 2.5 hours from home and get to see my family on weekends (oldest child is 8, our twins are 6...they "sorta" understand why Dad isn't around, but it's no picnic). But for every wonderful success stories of families digging in and making things work, I can show an equal number of families that imploded over the stressors of exactly what you are thinking about. In my opinion this is a conversation that only you and your wife can really figure out. How willing is she to be a single working mom in a strange city while you go to school? Can she find a way to cope and not implode while you work hard to better your lives together in the long term future? I assume that your marriage means a lot to you otherwise you wouldn't be that torn up about this decision. Ignoring the feelings of your mate isn't something I would do personally. Do you belong to a church/temple/club/group of folks that include mentors with whom you can bounce this off of? People who know you, your wife, your situation and can give better feedback than a bunch of key stroking strangers? Good luck to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theblend Posted October 22, 2011 Author Share Posted October 22, 2011 JustSteve, I respect and appreciate the content and delivery of your advice/opinions. I think you're spot on reading into my vocab selection. I have been trying to discuss this all with my wife and it seems like she knows 1. That I will end up doing whatever I feel I must do. and 2. That she will stand with me regardless. I think it's this strong sense of support that has me feeling very guilty of what I will probably end up putting her through if we move and I go MD when I could stay and do PA. I guess I am mostly wrestling with the idea that for people like yourself, it seems like you didn't exactly choose what you are doing and pursuing. Name it fate or "your calling" or whatever. Just.... when I think of the effects on my wife and kid and the time i will miss, I try to reason myself into finding a way to make it easier or at least lessen the blow on them as much as possible. If I had to pay for med school I think I would definately do PA and stay put. BUT if I could get med school free here AND stay put I would do med school- hands down. Does the fact that this seems so obvious mean that my true desire is MD? Maybe....but since moving is the big factor, I just don't know. As far as your coin flip and desire analogy, my hypothetical dillema is ok if PA school didn't exist an option, I applied and accepted to both instate med school (meaning debt) and MI med school (meaning free) I still am not sure which I would do....then throw in PA and it just gets deeper. PAMAC, Thank you as well, you made several very good points that I will be having my wife read through. When you said "your parents and inlaws probably love being around you guys and having you close, but they also would probably hate the idea of you holding back on such an opportunity on thier account", I instantly thought to myself that no matter what I choose, everybody is sacrificing in big ways. Even if I went PA and never regretted it, my wife, daughter, family, may have the "what if's" for me. SO as you said, " the big, HUGE question is what career want to have.... do want to be a doctor, or do want to be a PA" and that I have to figure out. If anybody has any answers on how best to do that I am all ears. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator EMEDPA Posted October 22, 2011 Moderator Share Posted October 22, 2011 BUT if I could get med school free here AND stay put I would do med school- hands down. Does the fact that this seems so obvious mean that my true desire is MD? . Yes, that's what it means. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theblend Posted October 22, 2011 Author Share Posted October 22, 2011 Yes, that's what it means. Thanks for having my back on both forums. I am still going to shadow a PA in an ED in the next couple weeks. Anything you think I should know going in or anything I should specificaly pay attention? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HopefulPA Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 If the only thing that is keeping you from Med School is where you and your family will live. I think you need to check out the potential areas. There are very nice, safe, affordable areas tht are family friendly around all 3 med schools (U of M, MSU and WSU). You probably would have to commute 10-20 mins to school (mostly due to rush hour traffic) but that is so doable. I would not pass up a no debt med school because of where I had to temporarily live. It is only 4 years (maybe less if you can have your rotations set up where you are originally from). Small price to pay IMHO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Steve Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 If she is willing to swallow her fear and make it work for med school then that's an amazing situation that will benefit everyone in the long run. I personally don't fancy the notion of ignoring the trepidation of a spouse to pursue your own program but if they are on board for the journey well then buckle up enjoy the ride together. Acknowledge her fear, show gratitude for her own sacrifice, and do well to make it all worth it. Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Y. Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 I vote for staying where family is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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