One, Two, Neither, or Both

[twipf]

Good evening all,

 

I have been contemplating the best method to attract readers and keep them reading. What would be the better opener? 1) "You are never going to have a work a day of your life," a patient once told me as I applied his fiberglass cast. or 2) Immediately broadcast my frustrations as a Medical Assistant/Orthopedic Technician to the reader. For example, when I receive a phone call from nurses or doctors wishing to clarify orders, I know the answer, but am unable to answer them because I am not qualified. As an orthopedic surgeons right hand man for the past five years I have learned most of his protocols. Picking up on them was fairly easy. I am to a point in my career that I feel PA is the only progression for me and envision myself as a PA for the rest of my life.

 

Your input will be highly appreciated. Thank you so much.

 

Tyler

[GatorRRT]

Well....the first option makes no sense, assuming there's a typo. As for the second option, it's probably not a great idea to state frustration as your motivation for a career as a PA. How about you enjoy your position but recognize its limitations, which is why you would like to be a PA...etc. At least that's the route I went.

[twipf]

To PAMAC: Thank you for your insight. You make great points about keeping negativity out of the narrative.

 

To GatorRRT: The intent of statement one is not to make sense. I was just trying to see if an opening sentence like that would make somebody want to read. It was something I was toying with this week, but am having second thoughts because it sounds a bit cliche to me. There have been so many samples I have seen with quotes being used.

[GatorRRT]

I was going to start with a quote, but came to the realization that the narrative is supposed to be a "personal statement". Why quote someone else's ideas when the point is to convey your own thoughts?