Jump to content

Critiques...


Recommended Posts

For as long as I can remember, my main goal in life is to become a Physician Assistant. I want to become a Physician Assistant to provide quality health care to medically undeserved populations and work together under the supervision of a physician in the health care team to better service patients. I want to become a Physician Assistant to be a patient advocate. I truly have embraced this profession mentally, physically, emotionally, and I am dedicated and ready to serve our medically undeserved populations.

 

All throughout my undergraduate career at the University of Texas at Brownsville I had dreams and high hopes to become a Physician Assistant. I deeply understood and embraced that to become a PA you need to engage in life long learning and excel in academics. Through the earlier portion of my undergraduate career I had several obstacles that I needed to overcome if I ever had the opportunity to become a PA, my English language barrier, financial barrier, and my fathers' cancer. Over the period of my undergraduate career I was able to balance my academics with long hours of strenuous work at Wal-mart as an overnight stocker and full time status at the University. With this job I was able to help maintain my cost of living and help my father with his cancer treatments in Monterrey, Mexico. Also, I was able to mature as an individual and provide increased dedication to the PA profession by doing PA and MD shadowing. In 2009, I obtained two interviews one at the University of Texas Pan American and the University of Texas Health Science Center at San Antonio, but was not selected as a cohort. I realized that there was much more that I needed to do to be the strongest candidate that I could be, so I raised by GPA and I continued to show interest in the field by increasing PA shadowing hours. Now, with been done with school I still had to provide an income for myself and my father; so I became a Biology High School teacher because they gave me flexibility to continue working towards my dream as a Physician Assistant. For the past two years I have been very involved with the PA profession, its regulatory laws, supervision laws, and have had the honor to directly shadow and learn from practicing PAs. I recently did not renew my teaching contract because now that I have some money saved up, I really want to fully engage and focus in getting into any PA school. I strongly believe that I am ready to succeed in any PA program as this is my goal in life. I ask for one chance and opportunity to help me fulfill my dream.

 

 

This one was my essay... 2010-2011 Cycle

Apply to 4 PA Schools in Texas,

Interview in 4

Alternative List in 3

Accepted in 1...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So you are sharing your essay as an example? Not quite sure what you are looking for here...

 

On a side note...do you also write Doctor, Nurse, Paramedic, Pharmacy Technologist? Just wondering why you opted to go with capitols on your physician assistant. Apparently it is not a deal breaker, as you have had success.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So you are sharing your essay as an example? Not quite sure what you are looking for here...

 

On a side note...do you also write Doctor, Nurse, Paramedic, Pharmacy Technologist? Just wondering why you opted to go with capitols on your physician assistant. Apparently it is not a deal breaker, as you have had success.

 

Just an example... you just need to be sure why do you want to be a PA... Grades are also important

And for sure they always ask why PA and not MD

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Not to be mean but I am a little surprised that you got away with this as your submitted essay. There are multiple grammatical errors, it reads as if you were just regurgitating whatever you thought PA schools wanted to hear, and it doesn't really say much about who you are other than you WANT to be a PA and worked at walmart and as a teacher. I would caution anyone that uses this as an example of a successful essay. Congratulations on getting accepted and for having some other strong points that carried you through despite a weak essay.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Personally I didn't get past the first paragraph on the first read. I am much more of a "show me" sorta audience rather than a "tell me". Stories of working full time, managing a family health crisis, and attending school all at the same time are a dime a dozen to be honest. You opted to go into education instead of going into a health care field. Your closing line is asking for one chance...but 2 years ago you were given 2 chances.

 

I think this is a great essay to illustrate that the applicant is studied as a whole, with a wide variety of factors coming into consideration. Grades, background, experience, essays, persistence all come into play.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Welcome to the Physician Assistant Forum! This website uses cookies to ensure you get the best experience on our website. Learn More