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need help condensing please!

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I would appreciate any help with shortening my narrative and I'll take any other criticism anyone may have!



He looked like the average patient, 6’6” about 240lbs in stature, wearing blue jeans and steel toed boots with a 3 ½ inch nail between his eyes. The short story is he had an accident with a nail gun. Of the 3 ½ inch nail, only about ¼ inch was visible, the rest of it could be palpated along the bridge of his nose until it disappeared into the orbit. After the ER doctor read the radiologists CT report, he went into the patient’s room and told him to buy a lottery ticket. The nail had missed his nasal bone, sinuses, medial rectus muscle, and every other vital structure in that vicinity. After the patient was consciously sedated, the physician hopped on the gurney for leverage, secured a good grip and proceeded to remove the nail with one sturdy pull. I have seen and experienced many things while working in the medical field and I have discovered the more I experience, the more enticing medicine is to me.

My first taste of the medical field was in ophthalmology. I began working as a scribe and an ophthalmic assistant for Dr. Mills 6 years ago where I have had the opportunity to be involved in the full circle of patient care. As a scribe, I have been able to observe the process of connecting the symptoms and physical exam findings to the diagnosis and treatment plans of each patient. This has given me invaluable insight into the thought process of the physician and how he makes decisions for each individual case. However, it has been through my experience as an ophthalmic technician that has fueled my ambition to becoming a Physician’s Assistant. As a technician, I take the patients history, perform tests according to their chief complaint, and try to gather the most information I can for the physician to make the best decision for each patient. I have learned to build a rapport with patients, and how to handle a variety of different personalities. I take pride in the fact that I am able to be a part of helping to treat each patient I take care of. I perform preoperative testing for patients who are having cataract surgery. Dr. Mills uses the numbers and information from the tests I perform to select which type of lens implant he will use during surgery. Knowing that Dr. Mills believes that I am competent enough to perform these essential tests gives me confidence to know that I am capable of playing a crucial part in the diagnosis and treatment of patients. The fact that I have had even the smallest part in helping person’s quality of life by improving their vision, drives my motivation in becoming a PA and to one day having a bigger part in that process.

Although I love working in Ophthalmology, I wanted to experience a broader spectrum of medicine. I applied for the scribe position at Saint Mary’s ER knowing what a valuable experience it would be. I work along side multiple physicians and Physician’s Assistance writing their charts for each patient. I learned the art of relating chief complaints to their pertinent negatives and positives while the physician or PA takes the patient’s medical history. I know which labs or imaging test each individual physician or PA would most likely order according to the patient’s chief complaint and their physical exam, and what differential diagnosis they are looking for. Each Healthcare provider has their own style of handling patients, and I have had the opportunity to be exposed to a variety of different approaches to practicing medicine. I have been a part of a team of nurses, ER techs, physicians, and PAs over the past 5 years and can appreciate the important role communication plays in the medical setting. I have been able to observe the relationship between PAs and physicians and their roles as healthcare providers, and the crucial role PAs have in the ER. PAs help physicians with the work load and with patient throughput. This allows for both the physicians and the PAs to spend more time with each patient, and therefore provide better patient care. Working in the ER has allowed me to develop a deep appreciation of the versatility that PA’s have in the medical community. Many of the PA’s working in the ER also work in other specialties as well such as GI, Dermatology, and Orthopedics. The potential of versatility through the PA profession is extremely intriguing to me, and I can’t wait to explore many other areas of medicine in a career as a PA.

My experiences through the years in medicine have solidified my decision to pursue a career as a PA. I have no delusions of the hard work and devotion it will take to reach this goal. I have no hesitation in saying that I have the ability to work hard and commit myself to becoming a dedicated PA student and practicing Physician’s Assistant.

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Physician's Assistance and Physician's Assistant... you probably won't get much help from the forum as it doesn't even look like you know the title of the profession or proof read what you posted on here. There are many spelling errors, grammar errors, and capitalization errors. My suggestion would be for you to look it over yourself, then have other people you trust look it over. Good luck :).

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