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Military wife and EMT asking for help on my personal statement

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Any constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated! I am a military wife, and the next place we are moving only has two PA programs within a reasonable distance so I really need to get into them! I realize many of the sentences require serious rewording. What is it lacking though? What could make it better? Thank you all in advance for taking the time to read it!




I was sure I would get in. I had spent years preparing to compile what seemed a perfect application to the Physician Assistant Program at *** University. I maintained an excellent GPA, competed in five different sports, scored well on the SAT, volunteered for years at my local hospital, and I was even the vice president of math club and treasurer of physics club. I submitted an application, legitimately the very first day it was allowed to be, that I felt showed my passion to serve others and overwhelming excitement to become a PA. It is often said that the arrival of a thick package indicates good news. So, several weeks after applying, when a large package wound up on our front porch my heart began to race with excitement. I told myself “You did it! All of your hard work payed off!” but to my extreme distress the first few words my eyes met were, “We regret to inform you…” I was angry and confused, questioning all of the hours I had worked so hard towards seamlessly overlooked. Fighting through the tears welling in my eyes I reached the closing of the letter, which offered a request for me to apply to another program. Left with few choices I reluctantly applied with a major that seemed interesting, Biochemistry.


While at *** I had an amazing experience. I was able to swim collegiately, learn to love every single class I was fortunate enough to take, and perform computational chemistry research under some of the most intelligent individuals I have ever encountered. While all of these things were invaluable blessings in my life the true glue that kept my desires at ease was being able to volunteer at the hospital down the road. My research, although aimed at enhancing joint replacement surgeries lacked the socialization with the patients that I truly enjoy. The emotions and excitement I feel when I walk into a hospital or clinic bring on a whole slew of feelings that are almost indescribable. A giant smile instantly creeps across my face regardless of the type of day I am having, how early I was up for swim practice, or how much work I still need to accomplish after I am finished. Socializing with the patients is something I take great pride in and it is one of the many reasons I want to become a PA. I am thankful for the opportunities I was presented with and am proud of my accomplishments as a Biochemistry major, but my experiences only further instilled my need to become a PA. I whole heatedly believe that ever moment I have lead up to now has actually made me the best version of myself and fully prepared me for any circumstance the life of a PA may bring my way.


Since graduating I have become a certified EMT, along with various other certifications, and begun volunteering at a free clinic as well as the local fire department. Every single day I am blown away at how lucky I am to do something that brings me so much joy. The free clinic serves families in need of health care under a certain salary and without health insurance. The majority of the population served speaks only Spanish, so it has been an excellent opportunity to practice not only my emergency medicine skills, but also my developing Spanish vocabulary. As an emergency medical provider I have better been able to combine two treasured activities than I could solely as a volunteer. I now can socialize with the patients, creating a calm and relaxed atmosphere that facilitates helping their medical needs. Becoming an EMT has provided me with satisfaction as a health care provider, but I know I still want more. As a biochemistry major, many of the classes were geared towards diagnosing issues within chemistry or the few health related courses I took, something that I know I need back. I’ve always considered myself someone who will always enjoy learning and I have always loved to solve problems. The diagnostic side of becoming a PA is extremely desirable to me and I would love to be the one to come up with a plan of action to treat my patients.


A common question I receive when I tell people I am applying to PA school is “Why not become a physician?” To be honest, I think I wanted to become a PA before I even knew what their days consisted of. Now, after shadowing them, I know that becoming a PA means that I am capable of switching my specialty without the need of another residency. Of the PA’s I have shadowed I have seen that the PA does more of the ground work, being fortunate enough to spend the majority of the time with the people they are serving. Lastly, something I believe in very strongly is the implementation of teamwork, something clearly important as a PA in which the team works together to provide the best and most effective health care to each individual. As a PA program graduate I know that I will be prepared to make any health care given an enjoyable experience and vow to still serve those less fortunate with my abilities.


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