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PS HELP. Wrote 2 personal statements...which one better to send?

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Hey everyone!


Katie from Alabama here. I am an RT (2 years experience) trying to get into PA school.

I am struggling with this personal statement. I somehow ended up writing TWO... they are completely different (in my eyes) I would love any input you guys have as to which one the admissions committee may value more! I'm not exactly looking for help editing them (though I would gladly accept because I definitely need it) I am just trying to decide which one is worth me continuing to work on...Thank you so much!! -Katie



PS # 1:


My interest in medicine began at a young age. I was first introduced to the health care field as I regularly made visits to the emergency room being a carefree child. As the years passed and I grew older, I began to consider different roles within this field. I decided I wanted to be a nurse so I could care directly for patients. I had every intention of being the best nurse any patient could have. I knew it was perfect for me because I enjoyed communicating with people and I felt like I could make patients feel more at ease even though they were going through a medical crisis. I had the opportunity to shadow a family practice nurse at a local doctor's office and realized that the nursing profession wasn't for me. I didn't give up here, searching for other modalities in health care, I shadowed a dermatologist and her team. During my time shadowing, I was introduced to the profession of Physician Assistant. I was very much impressed that a PA can see their own patients, treat and diagnose them, and still rely on the physician’s knowledge when needed. This experience with aPhysician Assistant solidified all my desires of working in medicine. I knew that choosing this as my profession would allow me to interact with patients closely and be a vital asset to the medical field.


My passion for learning more about the human body intensified when I took an elective course at my junior college. The course wasHuman Gross Anatomy and Pathology which consisted of mostly cadaver dissection. What seems gruesome to most people was completely fascinating to me. I eagerly attended class every day because I thoroughly enjoyed studying human anatomy. I loved being able to physically touch the muscles, bones, and organs of the cadaver. Although anatomy books provide pretty realistic illustrations of anatomical features, the experience of direct examination of cadavers enhanced my interest in learning. The fifteen weeks I spent dissecting my cadaver was only the beginning to a lifetime passion I have for learning more about medicine and the human body.


Naturally, I began pursuing an undergraduate degree that would allow me to be as involved in patient care as possible. I continued my education at the University as a Respiratory Therapy major. The program coursework gave me valuable knowledge about the respiratory and cardiovascular systems, while the clinical requirements allowed me to gain hands on experience dealing with a variety of patient ailments. Transitioning from a student to a young professional, I began my career as a Registered Respiratory Therapist (RRT) at the state’s only pediatric specialty hospital. Here, I work in a level IV NICU caring for a wide range of patients including extreme prematurity to infants requiring surgery. I manage artificial airways, conventional and high-frequency oscillatory ventilators, nitric oxide administration, and blood gas interpretation. Working in an intensive care unit matured my ambition to become a physician assistant. I often assist doctors and with intubations, codes, and bedside surgeries which only makes me aspire to do more in the realm of health care. The valuable experience I have gained as an RRT will undoubtably aid in my journey to becoming a PA.


I am choosing a career as a physician assistant because I am passionate about medicine. I am eager to learn more about the human body and excited to share my knowledge with future patients. Deciding at a young age to work in health care has granted me with the ability to stay focused on this career goal throughout life. My work as an RRT has allowed me to stay dedicated to patient care and gain valuable experience along the way. With the knowledge gained from the physician assistant program, I know that I will be able to provide the best quality care for my patients.





PS #2:


She was the first patient that I truly loved. Big brown eyes, beautiful curly brown hair, and a smile that would melt your heart. She was everybody’s favorite, her name was Baby A. Her mother referred to their time in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit as a roller coaster ride, the only thing for certain was the uncertainty that each day would bring.


I had only been working as a respiratory therapist in the NICU a few weeks before I met Baby A and her mother. I took a liking to them from the moment we met. The mom was young and was going through some family issues, so I instantly became someone she felt comfortable talking to. I spent a lot time in Baby A’s room, monitoring her ventilator and respiratory treatments, as well as keeping up my relationship with mom. Each passing day, her condition would change, some days were improvements and some days were setbacks. For seven and a half months Baby A would fight for her life, being an inspiration to everyone who met her. 


Months later, I remember her mom tapping me on the shoulder as I was charting. Tears in her eyes, she was about to have to make the hardest decision any parent has to make. Baby A was not improving and hadn’t over the past few weeks. Doctor’s gave her mother the new prognosis and she chose what was best for her daughter. I stood there with her and hugged her and cried with her. No words to say, just showed the love and compassion I had for her. Was this okay? Was this allowed? The questions popped in my head as I held the mother in my arms. The only thing I knew for certain was that it felt like the right thing to do. The right thing to do at this moment was to show a human response for a very real human emotion. And that was okay.



I have learned through this experience that health care isn’t always about saving the day or healing the sick, but rather being there to comfort the patient and their families. I am choosing to become a physician assistant because I want to combine my passion for helping people and my love for medicine. I know that I obtain all the characteristics needed to pursue a career as a PA, and with the knowledge gained from this program, I will be able to provide the best quality care to my patients. In memory of Baby A and other patients who have touched my life, I want benevolence to be a distinct characteristic in my approach to health care. I want to heal others with my knowledge as well as with the empathy I show them.



Thank you again.

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Fellow neo/pediatric RRT here. I actually thought both statements had their strengths. I think you should try to blend the elements of both.

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I agree with kennedypa. I like the story the second tells, but it doesn't tell me a lot about your other relevant experiences / education. I like the first because it gives me more of a background of who you are and your qualifications, but it doesn't reach the emotional level that the second does. Also, the first essay starts off kind of slow, but the second essay immediately grabbed my attention. I'd remember the opening to the second essay; I feel like tons of people will have the same opening as the first.

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I agree with kennedypa. I like the story the second tells, but it doesn't tell me a lot about your other relevant experiences / education. I like the first because it gives me more of a background of who you are and your qualifications, but it doesn't reach the emotional level that the second does. Also, the first essay starts off kind of slow, but the second essay immediately grabbed my attention. I'd remember the opening to the second essay; I feel like tons of people will have the same opening as the first.



Thank you, TeamScience, for your feedback! I am working to combine the two essays together, keeping the personal-ness of the second one and adding in some education and experience that the first personal statement offered.


I appreciate your response, thank you thank you.

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