Second Draft

[ARinaldi3]

Here goes nothing:

 

“I want a hangaburger mommy,” I implored my mother while tugging her pant leg. Being able to sit down with my mother and share a meal always brought a smile to my face—relaxing and enjoying her company was sheer bliss. I had no other care in the world other than uncovering what toy was at the bottom of my happy meal. In the times that I was not allowed to see her, when her spot across the booth from me lay vacant, my heart was broken in two.

 

I am twenty-three years old, and for twenty of those years I have been caring for my mother--who is mentally ill—but nonetheless is the most amazing, caring, and intelligent woman I have, and ever expect to meet.

 

Although I believe I have had a fortunate upbringing, it may not be in the manner that most would expect. My childhood was littered with obstacles of adversity, yet for that I harbor no resentment. In fact, I am thankful. I believe I have gained a better understanding of human interactions and the love that entails with such connections. So although I may not spend every day with a stressed, misunderstood, schizophrenic mother, a disgruntled grandmother with alzheimer’s disease, or a grandfather that is ‘too stubborn to die’ from a heart attack, all of my patients have families of their own—therefore all of my patient’s are my family.

 

“Could you go get him? He’s in the car and not feeling well,” a concerned elderly lady asked me as she rushed into my Urgent Care. I spared no time—running through the alleyway, lifting a wheelchair up stairs to an idle car with a half-conscious man hanging an arm and a leg out of the door of the front passenger seat. From the moment I began lifting him and accompanying this trembling, sickly, old man through the course of care, I couldn’t help but realize with every successive step how real he became to me  . Between his stubbornness in downplaying his pneumonia, and his wife verbally whipping him into allowing us to treat him—I couldn’t help but be reminded of my grandparents.   

 

During those simple times with our loved ones, we live life with joy, clarity, and absolute purpose. My experiences in healthcare evoke that type of euphoria, and no other sentiment better embodies my feelings than Albert Einstein’s quote: “Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile.” My family, my mother, and all that I have experienced with each, have together culminated in my decision to pursue a life to help my community and positively affect people’s lives. To accomplish this goal, there is no other role that I wish for more than that of a physician assistant.

 

The encounter with that elderly man, just as every patient who has individually touched my every day, makes me proud to say I have found my calling. A realization not from a single moment, but rather from a healing touch I have had all my life. My mother--my first ‘patient’--taught me as much.

Of course there is more to life’s pleasures than a good meal and a child’s toy. For me in present day, another is being able to help those who are ailing to be comforted with love and care. And I am—and will continue—doing everything to make myself the most skilled, the most caring, and the most competent medical professional I can be with this motivation in mind; to keep the dinner table full of happy, healthy faces.

[aryapac7]

While this is well written, I am left thinking that I have no idea why you're applying to PA school. One or two quick stories to show you're empathetic are fine, but not the entire paper. Make sure you show the admissions committee you know what a PA does (be specific! It doesn't hurt to be like, "they take histories, physicals, diagnose, and treat patients" or something along those lines). Also show why you want to be a PA over being a nurse, a CNA, a psychologist, an accountant... And talk about how your previous jobs (what was your healthcare experience?) have introduced you into the world of healthcare. 

 

Hope this helps. I can add more pointers if you need. Good luck!

[katarzyna17]

You have a great writing style, but I do not feel like you have fully answered why you'd like to be a PA.

I also don't think your introduction adds much to your personal statement. 

You've shown that you have empathy for others and a desire to help them. Now focus on explaining why PA over MD, NP, nurse ect... Perhaps talk about your experiences while shadowing or working with a PA.

 

Best of luck!