Ruff Coppy...Please Help!

[iNeedsC8H10N4O2]

A very Ruff copy...just looking for content critique.  Thank you!

 

 

  The call came in at 6:30 pm, "We have a ruptured aortic aneurism; we're coming to the OR now!"  I instructed them to go to room 3 and rushed to assemble a team.  Within moments bodies where swiftly moving about the room: the nurse working on getting blood up while paging the perfusionist,

the anesthesia tech preparing the machine for, while other technicians gathered up supplies and tested equipment. I was busily preparing the surgical field and making a careful account to ensure all the necessary instrumentation and supplies were on hand and ready: vessel loops, check; umbilical tape, check; rummel hook; hem-clips, silk ties; check, check, check.

     the patient came into the room with a crash. He was a heavy set gentlemen in his late fifties; yet, it was the expression he wore on his face that I have never forgotten.  His eyes jutted about the room, water welling at the corners, trying to soak in and comprehend all the was happening as the circulating nurse and anesthetist attacked him from both sides placing monitors and removing the patient gown, all the while attempting to reassure him saying, "Everything is going to be ok Mr. Vargas, we're gonna take good care of you."  Yet, the increasing sound of tachycardia coming form the monitor did not signify an abatement of fear, and upon attempting to intubate immediately went into laryngospasm.  When the decision was made to do a trach, I promptly brought up the instrumentation, as the physician donned sterile gloves. One the airway was in place and secured we were able to proceed with repairing Mr. Vargas's aorta.

 

     Something often told to surgical technicians students as they are going through school is to, " imaging that the person under the drapes is a member of your family.  How would you want them treated?'  It was a lesion never lost on me.  For seventeen years I have assisted physicians and nurses in improving the quality of life of my extended family; feeling the exhilaration after a long but successful case, and the loss when things did not go as hoped.  Along the way I have been blessed with the incredible opportunity  o an education few could imagine.  Through my training in orthopedics, neurology, vascular surgery, and many others, I was given anatomy and physiology lesions that many pre-med student s could only dream about.  In conversation with surgeon, their residents, and anesthesiologist, I was able.  to take on the in-depth understanding of complex procedures:, and most importantly, I learned what it truly meant to work as  a cohesive member of a team. Moreover, the opportunity for education has never ceased as new techniques and technology continue to improve into realm only once imagined in science fiction. for many years that level of educations had sustained my curiosities; yet, over the course of time it became not enough. something was lacking. I need more.

 

In each surgical case that I assisted in, my relationship with patient ended when he or she left the room.  I felt disconnected t the person 'under the drapes." I had become dissatisfied with imagining what member of my family that person might be.  I was and am proud to have been there in the time of Mr. Vargas's greatest need: but I felt it was time to get to know Mr. Vargas before that night in room three.

 

     In 2013 I decided it was time to go back to the class room.  I wanted to take the knowledge I had accumulated though out the years, learn more, and apply it to become a more productive member to the medical community.  I did not know to what degree that would entail:  would I go to nursing school, or medical school; become a physician assistant, or a physical therapist.  the options were numerous, but my goal was simple; enter into a field of medicine that allowed for a closer relationship with patients.  I was not until I met Tom that I had made a decision.

 

     Tom, his wife, and I are regular volunteers at a Haven For Hope, a transformational center on the near west ide of San Antonio, where individuals and families facing difficult times or addiction can come get a meal, a place to sleep, and medical care.  As Tom and I were going about our activities for the day he asked how school was going  and what my plans were.  I explained to him that I was weighing my options, telling him specifically about the careers I was exploring.  When I mentioned physician assistant  school he stopped what he was doing, turned and said, "My wife and I just love our PA, we go to her all the time.  She found a clot in my leg last year.  I don't know what we would do with out her."  In that brief statement tome was able to encapsulate my hopes.  To increase my contributions to healthcare while developing a relationship with the patients and the community in which I may serve.  I have worked with  many PAs through the years and have had a good comprehension of their function; but, it was trough the words of a patient that I truly understood their true value to those they cared for, and it is my reason for perusing a career as a physician assistant.

 

     due to the incredible effort of the surgical team, Mr. Vargas was able to be discharged and go home to his family.  It is a real honor to be a part of a surgical team, working together to improve, and in some cases, save a life.  I am indebted to all of those with whom I have worked throughout the years: physicians, nurses, and PAs; that have helped me gain the skill I posses today, and the confidence to believe that I can move forward and increase my value to the healthcare team. An with education, time and maybe a little luck, try and help keep a few Mr. Vargas's out form under the drapes.

 

 

 

 

[ShannonMaria21]

Well I am certainly no expert. I'm just an applicant like yourself, however I will  give you an honest critique.

 

1. I would first like to say you are off to a great start and you have a very interesting statement!

2.In your statement you said  "I wanted to take the knowledge I had accumulated though out the years, learn more, and apply it to become a more productive member to the medical community.  I did not know to what degree that would entail:" As you know from your many years of experience the Health-care system works as a  team and every profession is a productive member to the medical community. When you make that statement it kind of makes your role seems less valuable. It may sound better if you changed the word productive to advanced.

3. I would love to know from your statement what qualities and responsibility you observed while work among PA's that inspire you. 

 

Great job and congrats for getting this far, getting started is a difficulty of its own.

[paproof]

You don't tell me that you know what "being a PA" entails.  You say you "have good comprehension of their function," but that doesn't prove anything.  Show me you know what you are getting yourself into.