1st Draft-Opinions welcome!

[beccarose791]

This draft is still a work in progress. I need help making it flow better and with the conclusion. Thanks in advance!

 

 

It was over 100 degrees inside the oncology ward as I looked upon the faces of a dozen hopeful children.  The hospital in Nairobi, Kenya was without air conditioning and lacked most of the resources that we have in the U.S.  I found a little girl alone in one of the corners, whimpering.  She thought her parents had just abandoned her when in reality they both left to find jobs so they could afford her medical care.  At this moment, I realized the inherent need many people have for access to quality medical care and made it my goal to provide the best care that I can to those who struggle.

 

I traveled to Kenya for an undergraduate field course. We traveled around the country to teach HIV positive adolescents about the disease and how to live a safe and healthy life. Many children thought it was a death sentence and that they would never be able to live a healthy life and have families of their own one day. It was extremely rewarding to see the relief on their faces as they learned that they would not only survive past their teen years, but could live a mostly normal life. We also shadowed doctors at multiple hospitals and clinics. The conditions that many of the healthcare providers worked in was shocking. I arrived in the country expecting to learn about a struggling healthcare system, but instead I learned about using the resources at hand (or lack thereof) to provide people with the best care possible. This experience helped me decide that I want to continue on with my education in order to learn ways in which I would be able to impact the healthcare field in the future.

 

I learned about the PA profession during a panel discussion that I attended my freshman year at UW-Stevens Point. I continued to learn more and discovered that the PA model resonated with my own ideals regarding healthcare. I then made the decision to dedicate my studies to work towards becoming a PA. Just as I made that decision, I met with an advisor that told me that I would never reach that goal unless I worked even harder than I already was. With that honest advice, I packed up my bags and transferred to UW-Madison where I was determined to receive the best education possible. Between the increased difficulty in courses, navigating a new city, and dealing with a few personal issues, I struggled my first few semesters. I learned that I could not handle all of the difficult changes on my own and that I needed to ask for help in order to succeed. With the help from teachers and friends that had faith in me, I slowly began to improve my grades while still holding on to my dream of becoming a PA.

 

Over the past few years I have continued to explore careers in the medical field through job opportunities, volunteering, and shadowing. I volunteered on the oncology floor at the American Family Children’s Hospital in Madison. I met some very inspirational children who always had a smile on their faces, despite their pain and suffering. I also was able to watch some of the PAs interact with the children and was surprised by how much time they spent in the rooms answering any questions that the patient or family members had. They established a close relationship with their patients that was based on trust. I admired that relationship because it eased the minds of the families and allowed them to focus on their children.

 

After volunteering in a hospital, I decided that I wanted to be more hands on in the process of caring for patients. For the past year I have been working in an ICU as a critical care technician. During my first code, as I was doing chest compressions, I listened as the PA and physician made decisions that could have made the difference between life and death for the patient. I have also witnessed moments where patients that were not expected to survive were transferred to a non-critical floor and later returned home. These situations would never have happened had there not been a talented team constructing a care plan right from the beginning. By observing the PAs that I work with, I have learned that I want to be involved in the process from diagnosing a problem to treating it and teaching the patient how to live a healthy life.

 

 I am passionate about relationship building, gaining the trust of not only the patient, but also the supervising physician, and the flexibility to be a life-long learner by investing time in multiple specialties. I have had to struggle in order to become the person that I want to be but my struggle is nothing compared to what I witnessed in Kenya or from the patients that I have seen fighting for their lives every day. I have developed a passion for helping people in underserved areas which are unfortunately, not hard to find. All my experiences have enlightened me to the challenges and rewards of being a PA and have reinforced my resolve to provide healthcare to those in need.

[iseewholewheat]

You haven't really addressed why you want to become a PA over any other profession; I can see that you are interested in helping children, but why PA?  Your narrative is more like a talking resume-- you give me one bullet point of something you did, and then tell a story about it.  What do any of these experiences tell me about you?  

 

I also wouldn't state you left your first school for another to get a better education... It is kind of insulting to anyone who graduated from the first school.  Everyone works hard for their degrees no matter where they were conferred.