HH1234 Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 So I am about a month away from PA school, I could not be more excited!! I am so happy to finally be going back to school and embarking on my dream career! My program is about 5-5.5 hours away from where I currently live and where my boyfriend lives. We have been dating for about a year and a half now and luckily he is so supportive of my decision to be a PA. He is really happy for me and so far has been great through this process. We are going to try to make things work while I am at PA school, I know its going to be hard but we aren't that far away, things could be worse. I just wanted some advice or thoughts from those who have been in this position or those who are about to be like me. Thanks and Congrats to everyone who got in PA school!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guthriesm Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 I dated my guy while he was in graduate school several states away. Tips: 1. CALL each other - if not daily then at least every couple of days. These don't need to be hour long conversations but it is to keep yourself involved in each other's life. 2. EMAIL - a short note saying "Hi- I love you, I'm swamped but still remember your name" can go a long way. 3. PLAN - look closely at your breaks and "lighter" weeks and plan to visit. Once every 4-6 weeks is how my guy and I kept it going- and yes those were for weekend visits, rarely longer. These visits need to be realistic - if you have exams, study in advance and tell the guy that you need X hours alone for any work. However, outside of that, PUT THE BOOKS away. Same goes for him- he needs to plan to be with you during those visits. Also, it really helps if you take turns doing those visits so neither person is doing all the driving. Don't plan to see each other every weekend- it is unrealistic. But do remember that for any relationship to work, each person must be committed. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acozadd Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 My girlfriend is in grad school about 4.5 hours away. We've made it through the first year fine... it's difficult at times but the above advice is pretty solid. One thing that worked well for us was skype each night-- you can actually see the persons face as opposed to just hearing their voice on the phone. Seeing eachother once every month or 2 is rough but you get used to it. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CJKitty Posted May 5, 2011 Share Posted May 5, 2011 Congrats on being accepted and good luck! I'll be watching this thread as well, if my boyfriend's job offer comes in he will be working several hours away from me. We're feeling pretty confident about being able to handle any challenges since we've already lived together for ~5 years, but of course it won't all be sunshine and rainbows... lots of emailing and Google chatting and skype seems to be our plan for now. Handwritten letters when we're feeling particularly romantic. ;P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dm123 Posted May 6, 2011 Share Posted May 6, 2011 I was all set to marry my girl in the summer before PA school. She had already got her nursing license sorted out to move to Florida as well. We found a little apartment and moved an little stuff in. Home was 535 miles away. About a month before my class was to start, she found out her mom had metastatic bone cancer in the right ankle and foot. Absence might make the heart grow fonder at first but after not seeing someone for 4 months, it is a strain when you haven't actually said "I DO" yet. We lived together when I could come home which wasn't enough, when you travel allowance is an ever increasing credit car bill to Piedmont Airlines. The second year, when I started rotations kill or relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cinntsp Posted May 6, 2011 Share Posted May 6, 2011 My girlfriend of nearly 2.5 years is currently an expat based out of the middle east for work. We'll get to see each other every few months between her trips back here and me going over there. It's definitely tough after being used to living together and being together every day but I think if a relationship is meant to be then it will be. Try to make time to talk regularly and keep in touch. We use whatsapp to chat back and forth and make time to skype on the weekends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guthriesm Posted May 6, 2011 Share Posted May 6, 2011 Another tip- encourage him to have a social life. Both of us socialized in our towns with friends. We made a point to meet each other's friends during our visits so that when we talked about our day, we could include stories that were relevant. 'I had drinks after work with X. We are going to the improv club, etc". I did find myself jealous of others having his time but since I couldn't be there, it made sense for him to actually take a break from the books. It works both ways- you shouldn't restrict your activities just because he isn't available to escort you. I don't think distance kills a relationship- lack of nurturing it does. That stems from not communicating, staying involved in the day to day activities, and resentment when one cannot see each other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FriarMedic Posted May 7, 2011 Share Posted May 7, 2011 5.5 hours is a drivable distance that more than likely he will be doing most of the time. I invision PA school as pretty heavy workload with some light 1-2 day stints mixed in. These would be good moments to see your sigother. But for you to make that haul and back wouldn't be worth it (?). One of my co-workers wives just went through PA school abt that distance away and they made it worked and got married in the process. He hated those 2 years, but is very happy now. Personally, I've been seeing someone on and off but find myself VERY reluctant to move forward with her given what my future holds and the potential to be making a lost distance move. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bosox2k1 Posted May 9, 2011 Share Posted May 9, 2011 My relationship bit the dust the past week and we live together. It's gotta be very strong to make it through. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bellajoy Posted May 10, 2011 Share Posted May 10, 2011 At least your significant others are willing to give it a shot. That's a start. Mine broke up with me after I got my acceptance. Good luck to all of you! Sent from my ADR6300 using Tapatalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
convulsed Posted May 10, 2011 Share Posted May 10, 2011 My relationship after 4 years fell apart after my acceptance into PA school. I tried the LDR too, didnt work out for me. *Edit* Whoops forgot this was the student section .. haha. but yeah life goes on... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CathyChung85 Posted May 10, 2011 Share Posted May 10, 2011 Just remember.. if he stays around through PA school.. he's probably a keeper. :) Hope it works out with you and your bf. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
devildoc0311 Posted May 10, 2011 Share Posted May 10, 2011 Communication is key. Make sure before you start school that you both are on the same level. I don't start school for a couple of months, but I've dealt LDRs during my time in the military, it's tough, but doable for relationships worth keeping. Good luck with your LDR and school! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CJKitty Posted May 15, 2011 Share Posted May 15, 2011 Well, the job offer didn't come through, so while we will now be together at the start of (and all through?) my program, now we'll be freaking out* over the impending loan payments on his end unless he finds a job ASAP. If it's not one stressor it's another... *May be hyperbole. More like "quite concerned" or "intensely focused on until it resolves." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firemedic13 Posted May 15, 2011 Share Posted May 15, 2011 Well, the job offer didn't come through, so while we will now be together at the start of (and all through?) my program, now we'll be freaking out* over the impending loan payments on his end unless he finds a job ASAP. If it's not one stressor it's another... *May be hyperbole. More like "quite concerned" or "intensely focused on until it resolves." Call lender, get hardship forbearance. Also, any job with IBR can be doable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dm123 Posted May 15, 2011 Share Posted May 15, 2011 Something else to check on is the exam schedule. The didactic portion at my school was Monday-Friday classroom. Tests every Saturday morning. Get use to having a book with you all the time. When you are at lunch read, when you are on the john read, if you are lucky enough to have a car have a book open and read at the stop lights. Forget having a TV, you won't have time. Our school had one day off at Thanksgiving and an exam on the Saturday after Thanksgiving. Christmas you may be able to come home for a couple of days if you can afford to fly but not through New Years. Oh and bring a book to read. We didn't have summer breaks, it was 24 months straight through. Not meaning to discourage you but PA school is tough on time and your stress level will be high at least during the didactics portion. It is like College squared on time needed. It is three years worth of training stuffed into two. Any new grad should be proud of making the grade. If it were me I would stay in touch but back off a little. Allow each other to date and play by ear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patobe123 Posted August 26, 2015 Share Posted August 26, 2015 Anyone care to share since dm123 hasn't signed on since 2012 -- is second year harder on relationships than first year/why? I always thought first year would be the worst for those who are in relationships (especially if you are within driving distance from your bf/gf/spouse the 2nd year?) The second year, when I started rotations kill or relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PACdan Posted August 26, 2015 Share Posted August 26, 2015 Anyone care to share since dm123 hasn't signed on since 2012 -- is second year harder on relationships than first year/why? I always thought first year would be the worst for those who are in relationships (especially if you are within driving distance from your bf/gf/spouse the 2nd year?) Currently single, but yes, first year seems to be significantly more taxing for my classmates with significant others. The daily 8-5 grind leaves you pretty drained. Coupled with the fact that any given week may contain between 1-5 exams, personal time is strained. Weekends are precious, often you just need to sleep...and then study. Some people understand this, some don't. Second year seems to have many more "free" time opportunities. Depends on how many hours the rotation is taking up that month. But it's more akin to working a job. I know a few second years that go home each weekend, travel with their SO, etc. Of course the month leading up to graduation and the PANCE/job hunt will ramp up the stress again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MediMike Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 I managed to break up with the same girl twice before anyone else in my class did once during didactic. That being said, I normally have terrible taste so doesn't really apply across the board. Didactic year is hard, but the other person is still around. They'll be studying, prepping for physical exams etc., but those are all things you can help with/be involved in. Clinical year there is a good chance that your S.O. (or you) will be gone far far away. I spent 6 months of my clinical year 4-5 hours away from home (with a much more betterer girlfriend). As mentioned above, maintaining communication without overdoing it is key. Making time if you don't find time, and finding that right balance. 5 hours ain't that much to drive to see the one you love! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.