First Draft- All help is welcome!

[Berg]

Hi All!

This is the first draft of my personal statement and was wondering if I am on the right path. Thanks in advance! 

 

            I will always place the mission first, I will never accept defeat, I will never quit, I will never leave a fallen comrade. These four stanzas are what’s known as the Warrior Ethos. It is the focal point of all Army ethics and beliefs. This ethos is engrained into every soldier from day one. At first, it is just another mindless task of meaningless memorization that is bestowed on everyone seeking to join the ranks of the military. But, after what seems like an eternity of endless repetition and integration coupled with intense training, these four stanzas become more than just words. They become part of the individual; they mold him; transform him from a civilian into a soldier. To me, the Warrior Ethos is everything. It is what drives me to better myself every day. It is my motivation to keep me striding towards my ultimate goal: becoming a Physician’s Assistant.

            I will always place the mission first. The mission; my mission. My passion for medicine has existed for as long as I could remember. My mother was a lab technician at a hospital so I was exposed to the health system at an early age. When I was young I would visit her at her work and I remember the excitement I would feel walking through our small hospital, seeing all the MD’s, PA’s and other hospital staff working in conjunction together with the sole purpose to help their patient. I would be in aw watching them work as I passed by, listening to their complex medical language that made no sense to me at the time but I still loved hearing it. I knew, from those brief experiences that the medical field was my home. However, I wasn’t particularly drawn to Physician’s Assistant until my later years in high school. During that time I was a student, an athlete, a McDonald’s employee, and a care-taker for my step-father whom was diagnosed with AML.

            Gale (my step-father) received his treatment from the University of Michigan. It was the place that saved his life and that started me on the path to PA. The first PA I met worked under the hematologist as a team who treated Gale. I remember at least twice she would come in to Gale’s room and ask us how we were all doing. She would be the one changing his medications in his IV drip, and the one who performed all of his procedures such as bone marrow biopsies. Her passionate care, and unrivaled professionalism that she presented to my family and I everyday had me mesmerized. She not only had the skills necessary to perform any procedure with perfection and ease, but the knowledge to answer any question in depth no matter how complex it may be. From that day I knew I wanted to replicate that. I want to do what she does. I want to have the knowledge and skills to be able to treat patients, as well as the professionalism and generosity to ease them. From that day I knew that becoming a PA was my mission.

            I will never accept defeat. The path that led me to where I am today has been nothing short of eventful. I have made a lot of life altering decisions and have placed myself in the position I need to be in all on my own. Theoretical road blocks have constantly plagued my life but, for each one I am grateful because it has made me what I am today. For example, halfway into my freshman year my mother told me that due to the excruciating expenses of my step-fathers medical bills they could no longer afford for me to go to college. The news hit me hard and brought up many different emotions. I was angry, sad, scared, disappointed and the list goes on. I felt sorry for myself for the longest time until I realized it was up to me. My mom and step-dad have done so much to get me where I was at, and for that I am endlessly grateful. But, now it was my turn to take the reins. I could accept the cards that were dealt to me, give up and hope one day to return to school after working a factory job; or, I could join the ranks of the 1% of American’s in the US military and do what needs to be done to get school paid for. I have conquered so many obstacles in my life to get to this position and I know that there is a long road ahead. But, no matter what twists and turns lye in that road, defeat is not an option. I will do whatever it takes to reach my goal of becoming a PA.

            I will never quit. As stated above, the path I have chosen to take is difficult to say the least. Products of my decisions have coasted me thousands of hours working graveyard shifts as an EMT in the crime ridden city of Saginaw as well as training to become a better soldier. Yet, I still make time to be as involved as I can with my community and with different programs throughout campus as well as to be the best student I can. Though I admit that these decisions have caused a lot of time conflictions and stress in my life, I would not have it any other way. Whenever I start something, I see through that I finish it. The verb “to quit,” is not one used very often in my vocabulary.

            I will never leave a fallen comrade. This fourth and final stanza is the one I hold closest to my heart. Whether it be a shooting victim in the streets of Saginaw, or a fellow soldier on the battlefield I will always do all that is in my power to bring them back home. This also re-enforces my desire to become a PA, so I can learn the skills necessary to help those that I can. Working as an EMT I’ve seen death before; I’ve witnessed families losing a loved one; I’ve been in a position of pure chaos and hopelessness where I have done all I can yet the patient still passes. Through all of these scenarios the only regret that I had was wishing I had known more; wishing I had more tools in my repuitar that I can use to mine and the patients advantage. Now, whether having these skills would have helped these patients odds are up for debate, but, none the less, I want to make sure that I can do everything that my mind and body will allow me to do to make sure that my fellow soldiers and civilians that come to me for help receive just that so that they may make it back to their families and loved ones.

            The warrior ethos defines the person I am, and each stanza represents the person I hope to become. To me, it perfectly represents my drive to become a PA, my will to stay on this career path, my relentlessness to stop at nothing to achieve my goals, and finally, how I one day hope to use my skills as acquired as a PA on both my civilian and military life. To me PA is the only viable career choice. I want to acquire the skills and knowledge that every higher level health care provide has, but at the same time, be able to provide the compassionate and humane care the PA’s do so well. I have put in the time and effort and went above and beyond in all aspects of my life to put me in the position to be writing this today and I will stop at nothing to prove that I am ready and willing for PA school.

 

[Kim235]

Remember it's "Physician Assistant" not physician's assistant. Overall it seems pretty good. 

[Berg]

I didn't even notice I did that! thank you very much 

[MT83]

"But, no matter what twists and turns lye in that road, defeat is not an option."

 

In the 4th paragraph you have lye, it should be lay.