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Free Review for Personal Statements for PA School

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Hi my name is joe and im applying to PA schools now. This is my possible "final " draft of the Personal statement, please let me know what you think. Thank you!

 

As I sat in the Food Stamps and Welfare office, filled with feelings of fear and disappointment that I hadn’t attained self sufficiency, I looked around observing all walks of life enduring their own personal struggles, and I realized we share a similar destiny: we’re trying to make it on our own -- to be independent. My father was a migrant and a veteran, and being the backbone of our family, he has instilled in me the charisma and ambition to not settle for anything less than my full potential and to strive further, especially in education and interpersonal relationships. His inspiration has influenced me and changed me, provoking me to progress  (persevere) by challenging myself academically and investing in valuable relationships. Academics and relationships are the building blocks of self-sufficiency, and with each day that passes I am closer to that (my) goal. Independence comes with a lot of hard work, devotion and responsibility, all things that I’ve worked on tirelessly in order to get where I am today (in becomingg a pa).

During Fall and Spring semesters of 2012 -2013, I struggled living in a community that was destroyed by Hurricane Sandy. Being displaced and without a home, with my newborn son, I felt extremely challenged in properly balancing my family and academic life (lives). Looking back, I’m proud at how I stayed focused and achieved my personal and academic goals (objectives), despite the very difficult time that was brought on by Hurricane Sandy. This episode taught me valuable lessons in overcoming (diffucult) trying times. (A patient’s independence can be strained at times, and my aspiration is to be there for them in their time of need, and to give them the encouragement and hope to endure.)

I have a specific interest in primary care, because I want to be able to interact with various diverse patients, and hopefully develop longer-term relationships with them. While working in Jackson Memorial Hospital, located in a low-income area, I witnessed the impact a PA can have on the lives of the underserved and underprivileged. I therefore want to work in hospitals with underserved and underprivileged populations in order to assist many patients in their pursuit of health and well-being.

While shadowing PA Dara Bernstein in the NICU, where many tough cases both medically and emotionally were presented, I developed a strong sense of the skill of uniting compassion and medicine. My desire to help others is commensurate with my great interest and knowledge of medicine. Witnessing PA Bernstein collaborating and communicating with a team of physicians and other medical professionals, I noted the important link a PA plays in the medical chain.

The capacity to communicate clearly and concisely is pivotal to the success of a PA’s relationship with their patients and the medical staff. I have worked on improving my communication skills through being a tutor and a guide to high school students. Tutoring has sharpened my ability to effectively present information, because I must organize and explain concepts into terms that my students comprehend and understand. Additionally, I am a mentor for at-risk youth where I have seen the emotional and mental struggles of students trying to break free and forge their own paths in life. My goal was to guide them towards emotional health, facilitate their overall welfare. My devotion and compassion for them has carried over into my medical career where my desire is to give the patient the medical care, support and treatment needed for their well-being.

I believe that I’m mature, motivated and intelligent student who will display dedication for both science and clinical medicine. I recall numerous times, at Jackson Memorial, where I would review in-detail the various cases presented, in order to broaden my knowledge of the medical field. My enthusiasm and awareness are matched by my integrity and commitment in caring for the patient’s needs, both physically and emotionally.

My motivation to practice as a PA comes from my fascination with the sciences coupled with my compassion and sensitivity towards others. Medicine is an art - an art I am captivated by --an art I want to master and nourish from. Art requires countless time and effort, and I have spent countless hours studying and analyzing the sciences, and researching and discussing pathologies with my healthcare mentor. Throughout my experiences, I have spent hundreds of hours shadowing and volunteering in healthcare offices and hospitals to further my background in the healthcare system. Integrating my experiences, and applying them to my life’s work as a PA is a privilege I yearn for. I look forward to the day when I can amass the knowledge and skills towards becoming a Physician Assistant.

Being a healthcare professional has been a dream of mine since my adolescence, and I am enamored by the opportunity to materialize my aspirations. I am confident that my care and compassion for people coupled with my love for the health sciences will help me become a first-rate PA.

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