narrative from a reapplicant

[cortizone]

hi everyone,

 

i just finished a rough draft of my personal statement today and would like some feedback/criticism on it. please let me know what changes i can make, thank you!

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I have always navigated through life putting myself in others’ shoes, sensing what they feel, and doing my best to help them in any possible way. When I was six, I laid out a shoebox full of sugar in my family’s shared bedroom because I was told over and over that ants love sugar. I wanted to leave the ants a gift and make their day, much to my mother’s dismay. It was these sort of selfless acts that gave me the most satisfaction, and I knew that I wanted a career that would allow me to serve others and touch lives.

 

Healthcare was an obvious path because it involves the preservation of life through applications of modern science. It is an engaging and challenging field in which the roles a person may assume are endless. For me, I envision myself being most comfortable in a provider position where I can build trustful relationships with patients in a face-to-face manner and educate them on their health. My softball coach introduced me to the physician assistant (PA) profession after I expressed my interest in healthcare to her. Upon research, I found that everything about the PA profession resonated within me, and I was completely enthralled by the idea of working autonomously while having access to a supervising physician.

 

Unfortunately, I battled depression for most of my undergraduate career and could not focus in school, which is reflected on my poor transcript. After a summer abroad and some serious soul-searching, I came back my senior year completely transformed, finishing with university honors and a spot on the dean’s list. As a result of this experience, I learned the power of resilience and how to deal with and adapt to the constant changes in life. Likewise, I know that healthcare is an ever-changing landscape, and the flexibility and educational background of PAs allow them to adjust to the needs. This versatile nature of PAs is particularly appealing to me, and I hope to fill the need and offer care to those that have limited access.

 

With a fervent motivation in becoming a PA, I sought every opportunity to better myself after graduation and after being rejected my first time of applying. I continued my work both as a volunteer and as an employee at St. David’s Medical Center to expand my knowledge and skills. Working in the neurology unit full-time as a patient care technician (PCT) has increased my healthcare experience significantly, and I can understand why so many PA programs have hands-on experience as a requirement after dealing with many demanding and difficult situations.

 

For example, I had a patient who yelled obscenities at me from the moment I walked into his room to take vital signs, and it was awfully stressful caring for someone who seemed to despise me for no reason. However, the more time and patience I showed him, the more he opened up to me and revealed his tragic past. I empathized with him, and knew that every patient has a different story and background. As a PCT, I have learned to be humble and available as a valuable resource to anyone in need. Being in that position is a lot of responsibility and hard work, but I have definitely found my niche in healthcare because I crave patient interaction and forming that sort of connection with people. Becoming a PA would only allow me to make a more meaningful impact on patients, one that goes beyond vital signs and bed baths.

 

In shadowing several PAs, I have observed all of them taking the time to explain things clearly to a patient and making sure they have a thorough understanding of their health. It is extremely important to explain and educate in simple terms that everyone can understand, and it does a lot to calm anxiety and fear. My own experience with teaching came after my manager asked me to be a preceptor for new PCTs. This involved explaining why we do things a certain way, what neurological changes to look for in patients, and how to use the medical software, among other things. It was both refreshing and rewarding to see how quickly the new PCTs learned everything, and I knew that the opportunity for teaching is another reason I want to pursue this career. My experience as a preceptor has provided me with skills to be an effective communicator and educator – both invaluable roles of being an exceptional PA. Furthermore, I do not want to end up at a job where I do perfunctory tasks; I want to stimulate my mind, think critically, and solve problems. I can confirm after my shadowing experiences that being a PA enables me to do all of that. 

 

My work and shadowing experiences have solidified my decision to be a PA, where I can fulfill my desire and commitment to serving others in the dynamic and challenging field of medicine. In the past year, I have retaken courses, learned about EKG and phlebotomy, and gained invaluable patient care experience. I have registered to retake more courses in the fall and will continue to strive relentlessly to achieve my dream of becoming a PA.

[SCHW9076]

I LOVE this. What a great story you have told. Nice work.

[cortizone]

Thank you for the kind words, SCHW9076!

 

I revised it several times since my first post, but have kept the same ideas. I thought the first draft did not address what I have done to improve my application as a reapplicant, and made the conclusion more about others instead of chasing my own dream. Hopefully I answered the prompt thoroughly!

Any feedback/criticism would be greatly appreciated.

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My mother shrieked in horror as she came home from work to find a shoebox full of sugar and an army of ants swarming around our tiny bedroom floor. My six-year-old self had excitedly laid out the shoebox after hearing over and over that ants love sugar. I wanted to leave the ants a gift, much to my mother’s dismay. It was, of course, a horrendous mistake, but it is also an early account of the sort of selfless acts I enjoy doing for others. From the beginning, my aspiration to be in healthcare evolves from this giving nature and the desire to serve others.

 

I first heard about the physician assistant (PA) profession from my high school softball coach. Upon research, I found that PAs are able to carry out many of the same duties as doctors, and are trained in a generalist model in order to adjust to the needs of healthcare. This versatile nature of PAs is particularly appealing to me, and I hope to fill the need and offer care to those that have limited access. Having the autonomy to build trustful relationships with patients while having access to a supervising physician sounded like a dream come true. Unfortunately, I battled depression for most of my undergraduate career and could not focus in school, which is reflected on my poor transcript. After a summer abroad and some serious soul-searching, I came back my senior year completely transformed, finishing with university honors and a spot on the dean’s list. As a result of this experience, I learned the power of resilience and how to deal with and adapt to the constant changes in life.

 

However, my academic record and lack of experience was evident and I was not accepted my first time applying to PA school. Instead of giving up, I am more motivated to demonstrate my ability to handle a rigorous science-intensive graduate program and ultimately be a caring PA. I have retaken prerequisites, registered for more courses in the fall, shadowed more PAs, and continued to both work and volunteer at St. David’s Medical Center. Working in the neurology unit full-time as a patient care technician (PCT) has given me invaluable healthcare experience, and I now understand why so many PA programs have it as a requirement after dealing with many demanding and stressful situations.

 

For example, I had a patient who yelled obscenities at me from the moment I walked into his room to take vital signs. He had thrown a urinal from his bed and demanded I get him up to the bedside commode using racial slurs. I was upset and confused that this man whom I was supposed to take care of for the next twelve hours seemed to despise me for no reason. However, the more time and patience I showed him, the more he opened up to me and revealed his tragic past. I sympathized with him, and knew that every patient had a different story and background. He went from being my most difficult patient to being the most pleasant. As a PCT, I have learned to be humble and available as a valuable resource to anyone in need. Being in that position is a lot of responsibility and hard work, but I have definitely found a passion in healthcare because I love patient interaction and forming that sort of connection with people. Becoming a PA would only allow me to make a more meaningful impact on patients, one that goes beyond vital signs and bed baths. It would let me stimulate my mind, think critically, and solve problems to help improve someone’s quality of life in a far more lasting way.

 

In shadowing several PAs, I have observed all of them exemplifying the values of quality healthcare that I hope to emulate: compassion, intelligence, dedication, and attentiveness. They truly listen to what the patients have to say and let them ask questions freely. The PAs also took the time to explain things clearly to patients and made sure they had a thorough comprehension of their health. They used simple terms that everyone could understand, and I could tell it did a lot to ease anxiety and fear. My own experience with teaching came after my supervisor asked me to be a preceptor for new PCTs. This involved explaining how to assist with daily activities of living, what neurological changes to look for in patients, and how to use the medical software, among other things. It was both refreshing and rewarding to see how quickly the new PCTs learned everything, and I knew that the opportunity for teaching is another reason I want to pursue this career. My experience as a preceptor has provided me with skills to be an effective communicator and educator - both roles of being an exceptional PA.

 

Although I have had setbacks, they have only ignited my motivation for becoming a PA, where I can fulfill my desire and commitment to serving others in the dynamic and challenging field of medicine. I look forward to using the knowledge and skills learned from my work and life experiences to be a well-rounded PA who continues to learn from others, and to naturally, give back.

[CSCH]

 

I first heard about the physician assistant (PA) profession from my high school softball coach. Upon research, I found that PAs are able to carry out many of the same duties as doctors, and are trained in a generalist model in order to adjust to the needs of healthcare. This versatile nature of PAs is particularly appealing to me, and I hope to fill the need and offer care to those that have limited access. Having the autonomy to build trustful relationships with patients while having access to a supervising physician sounded like a dream come true. (***) Unfortunately, I battled depression for most of my undergraduate career and could not focus in school, which is reflected on my poor transcript. After a summer abroad and some serious soul-searching, I came back my senior year completely transformed, finishing with university honors and a spot on the dean’s list. As a result of this experience, I learned the power of resilience and how to deal with and adapt to the constant changes in life.

 

 

This is really good! I put (***) in between two sentences in your second paragraph that don't seem to flow very well. I think "Unfortunately..." probably belongs as the start of the next paragraph.

 

Good luck to you!