PA Narrative

[tfrering]

As I hear my name echo throughout the cold walls my heart begins to pound, the jitters always set in when I enter the arena and the smell of diesel fuel fills my mind, dispersing my every thought and concentration into a million directions. Suddenly, with one quick, deep breath the tension diffuses from my body and I am running down the alleyway. I know that one wrong decision can lead to devastation, one second too early and my fragile knee will meet the fifty-five gallon drum at high speeds, one second too late and my equine companion will stride past the barrel. My thoughts concinnate quickly and I find myself in a natural, free-flowing thought process. The roar of the crowd has begun; the cheers and cries saturate my ears and an uncontrollable smile etched itself across my face with their approval. If someone were to ask me why I love to rodeo or barrel race this description of adrenaline, of excitement, of pure bliss, would be my answer. But why do I want to be a physician assistant?

 

For the same reason I love to barrel race. The adrenaline rush of receiving new cases, new people and new situations; the excitement of diagnosing patients and seeing pure bliss come across their faces as they are finally told the origin of their symptoms; or my happiness being able to comfort a family, a child, an elderly person whom during a situation that may have happened to anyone.

Everyone throughout their life experiences a myriad of situations forcing them to make controversial decisions. The first time I faced one of these decisions was when I was accepted to the University of Florida. While I had been offered multiple scholarships to other universities, UF had offered me none which complicated my choices. In the end I elected to attend the University of Florida in hopes of pursuing an engineering degree because I believed this gave me the best opportunity toward higher education through difficulty of courses, and access to world-renowned professors. However, I quickly realized college was not high school. My freshmen year I found myself lost. I knew no one, I knew nothing, and to top it all off I knew I definitely did not love math the way I believed I did and did not want to be a chemical engineer. I struggled for one of the first times in my life and decided to fall back on what I knew which were animals.

 

Sophomore year rolled around and yet another excruciating situation laid itself upon me. During the fall someone very close to me was diagnosed with stage III pancreatic cancer.  My world was rocked; the only glimmer of hope that remained was the fact that he was receiving treatment at Shands Hospital- at the University of Florida. I attempted to spend every ounce of my free time visiting him as he received treatment and school seemed to be placed on the backburner. During the spring semester, cancer had finally overcome my loved one. His passing was bittersweet but has taught me not to give up, keep fighting no matter how grimacing the situation may seem and failure should be taken as a lesson not as an attitude.

 

As I entered my third and final year at UF I began to think about what I wish to do post baccalaureate. I knew I did not want to be a vet- even though I was on track to be one, I definitely knew I did not want to be a chemical engineer, but then I began to think about my experience over the years especially recently with my loved one.

 

Medical professionals are presented with an amazing opportunity to affect and even change people’s lives. As you enter a medical facility, it’s as if you are entering a foreign country- the language changes, terms are used you have never heard before and the doctor’s writing is more like a kindergarteners scribble when first learning how to write. Physician assistant made all the difference when I first entered this foreign country. An everlasting relationship was established as the physician assistant comforted me by explaining what was happening, why certain things were being done and even in different situations advised my parents on what they would do if it were their child or loved one. Physician assistant provide a piece of happiness, comfort and a small sliver of clear thought in an intense atmosphere and this is what I will strive to do, want to do for others as a physician assistant. This is my new journey down the alleyway, my deep-head clearing breath and the sound of applause as I cross the timer line into my new career. 

[Blue Goose]

It sounds like you've never worked in healthcare before. I found the second and fifth paragraphs to be off-putting, and led me to that conclusion. Explain why you want to be a PA and not something else, then use personal examples to show why you'll be good at it.

 

 

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[Joelseff]

So you want to be a PA for the "adrenaline rush?" Ok... And "pure bliss" would not be what I describe as the reaction I get when I tell a pt they are HIV positive or that the reason why they are coughing up blood is because of a neoplasm...

 

You should try gladiator school instead.

[trav6170]

Please get some shadowing experience so that you can experience the "pure bliss"!!!

[tfrering]

Okay guys,

Just so you know that's not what I meant by pure bliss. I was aiming more toward helping people through difficult situations, delivering babies and watching sick children being able to go home to their moms after being in a hospital bed for days, weeks or months. I appreciate the criticism though I think it was a little on the rude side but I'll take what I can get. I actually work in a hospital currently and have volunteered at shands at UF and have shadowed a PA so my experience is there. I was trying not to do the typical oh someone saw something bad or their relative was a PA and that's why they want to be a PA thing but I've rewritten my essay. If you wouldn't mind looking at it. Its a work in progress, its not perfect and I don't expect y'all to love it but I obviously want people's opinions so I appreciate them :)

 

Thanks!

[tfrering]

So you want to be a PA for the "adrenaline rush?" Ok... And "pure bliss" would not be what I describe as the reaction I get when I tell a pt they are HIV positive or that the reason why they are coughing up blood is because of a neoplasm...

 

You should try gladiator school instead.

 

I think gladiator school was a little rough but nevertheless, I got the point. Do you understand that's not where I was going with it though?

I hope at least..

[tfrering]

As I hear my name echo throughout the cold walls my heart begins to pound, the jitters always set in when they begin the pre-operation check list. Over and over again they ask you: what leg is it, the right or the left and in my mind all I can ask is, do you not see the huge cast and purple markings screaming: “THIS IS THE HURT LEG” at you? I find myself constantly reminded that they are just doing their job, that at some point someone messed up and cut into the wrong leg but when you are only a fourth grader going into surgery, it becomes hard to care. At one point in time all the doctors seem the same, all the voices jumble together and the anesthesiologist’s jokes become less and less funny. Then suddenly, with one deep breath the tension diffuses from my body, my thoughts evaporate quickly and I find myself in a natural, free-flowing state; I am under.

This was not my first experience at the hospital. At this point I was on my second broken leg- this school year, a 19 stitches wrist accident and 4 sprained ankles, not to mention a couple other encounters I was too young to remember. However, it was the first time I realized what bad and good healthcare really felt like. To me, medical professionals are presented with an amazing opportunity to affect and even change people’s lives. As you enter a medical facility, it’s as if you are entering a foreign country- the language changes, terms are used you have never heard before and the doctor’s writing is more like a kindergarteners scribble when first learning how to write. My physician assistant made all the difference when I first entered this foreign country. I had broken my leg into a million pieces, maybe not quite a million but it was shattered, during a snow skiing accident. The doctor performing my surgery had a difficult time, was not very personable and to a recently turned eleven year old felt like I was going to see the Grinch, on Christmas Eve. But to my physician assistant it wasn’t just a job; she legitimately wanted to see me get well. While the grown-ups would discuss what was happening in their own, completely different language she was always there to tell me what was happening in a way I would understand. She became more than just a physician assistant, she became my friend and as I used to call her “my own assistant”. After I awoke from surgery “my assistant” was there with a red popsicle to help my dry throat, just like she promised and greeted me with an equally as big smile as my parents had.    

Fast forward a few years, a few more surgeries and hospital visits and I am now at the University of Florida. It did not take me very long to realize college was not high school. My freshmen year I found myself lost. I knew no one, I knew nothing, and to top it all off I knew I definitely did not love math the way I believed I did. So I decided to switch gears and wanted to try out a pre-veterinarian tract.

Sophomore year rolled around and I was still attempting to find myself, along with graduate a year early and attempt to work to pay for school. If I thought my world was teetering at this point, it was about to become engulfed by a wave of devastation. During the fall semester someone very close to me was diagnosed with stage III pancreatic cancer.  My world was destroyed; the only glimmer of hope that remained was the fact that he was receiving treatment at Shands Hospital- at the University of Florida. I went from a normal college kid just trying to have fun and semi-outlive the “C’s get degrees” mentality to not knowing what each day was going to bring and not knowing how much I could truly handle emotionally.  This man had been like a second dad to me and my sister, had taken us to school, picked us up, fed us, bathed us as children and was the epitome of strong. I intended to spend every ounce of my free time visiting him, praying that he would get better; that his family, our family would not have to see him like this. During the spring semester, cancer had finally won the battle. Though, his passing was one of the toughest moments in my life, I was reminded that other people were in the same situation as George. The patients and their loved ones were relying on the medical staff at Shands to provide them with the same kindness, dedication and compassion that was shown to us.

So, as I entered my third and final year at UF I had finally found myself. I realized that I wanted to be able to do more for the patient than just watch as they die, I wanted to be apart of their journey to recovery. I began to research my options and positions in the medical field when I was quickly reminded of “my assistant” from all those years ago. Why couldn’t that be me? Why couldn’t I change George’s life or my own life for the better in difficult situations such as my physician assistant and others do every day? As I have shadowed physician assistant, and worked in the hospital setting as a CNA/PCA I have encountered the responsibilities of a physician assistant, I have interacted with them and seen first-hand what the job can require, the good and the bad and I am ready to begin my journey to helping change people’s lives. 

 

Theres the new one...

[taotaox1]

I have a much better viceral reaction to the second one. It comes off as much more mature and thoughtful.

 

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[Joelseff]

Its slightly better. Lots of cliches, grammatical errors ( I know its a rough draft) and conversational tones vs a well thought out essay...I still dont see your drive to be a PA. Why wont you get the same professional satisfaction from being a nurse or physician and your use of "my assistant" is offensive.

 

Honestly, you say you want to separate yourself from all the "my family was sick so I wanna be a PA" essays, but you kinda ran right into that... I say rethink your outline. Put in more tangibles that the adcomm can visualize besides the fluffy stuff. You say you have experience in healthcare, put that inthere. Show how youve grown into someone ready to be a provider. Keep trying.

 

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[DiggySRNA]

Best way to approach what Joelseff said, is to completely rewrite your essay. You'll get a fresh start instead of lingering on what you've already said. 

[Joelseff]

^^^yes. And remember, its not a screenplay, its an interview. Treat it as such and you will be on the right track. You have a thousand other applicants fighting for your seat. You need to shine on the qualities that the adcom is looking for, not what you think they're looking for.

 

By the way, i'm harsh because this process and PA school is tough...and YOU asked for critiques... I dont believe in blowing sunshine.

 

Also you are sorely lacking in HCE...shadowing doesnt count in place of this at most programs. You should maybe take some time to get some HCE. You wouldnt apply without finishing academic pre-reqs right? Why neglect HCE?

 

Here are sone good tips on hiw to write a persuasive essay:

 

http://www.studygs.net/wrtstr4.htm