My Personal Narrative

[kflatt00]

I was wondering if someone could look at my personal statement and see how it looks? Thanks. 

 

     What was that loud explosion and what is that hot, searing pain I feel in my neck? What is that indescribable burning smell and why is there a cloud of dust, or is it smoke? These were the thoughts running through my mind on August 17, 2010. My family had been involved in an automobile accident and we were hit head on by a drunk driver. Medical personnel, firefighters, and police officers quickly arrived on the scene, having the mindset that they were arriving to a fatal accident.

      We were quickly transported via ambulances to a local hospital and our injuries were evaluated. Each of us had received injuries, ranging from bruising and minor lacerations, to broken bones of the pelvis and cervical spine. None of our injuries were life threatening, only troublesome. I had received a broken vertebra in my cervical spine.

       The recovery from this accident took quite a long time; I had to wear a hard collar for four weeks. Eventually most of the physical and emotional trauma we had received subsided. As we were going through this experience, we felt like we would never see the light at the end of the tunnel. But in time we did finally get back into a normal routine and things did become more normal again.

       This entire experience brought something to my awareness that I had not realized before. While I was in the emergency room, I was taken care of by a team of doctors and nurses who worked together to care for me and did what was best for my well-being. I did not have a physician assistant taking care of me while I was in the emergency room, however, but what I did see was teamwork. This type of teamwork is synonymous with what I have discovered about a PA and how they practice medicine. PA’s are an integral part of the medical team.

       After I recovered from the accident, I began researching my career goals. I knew I wanted to pursue a medical career, but I was not sure which branch. It was not long before I discovered the physician assistant career. As soon as I found this career path, I was certain that I had discovered the career that would satisfy my desire to help people, as well as my intellectual curiosity and desire to learn.

       I had been homeschooled all my life so college was a huge culture shock for me. Because of this, I struggled my first couple of semesters, as freshmen usually do. My grades in General Chemistry I and II were not as high as I had hoped. I was able, however, to attain above than average grades, despite the fact that I was not required to take a chemistry course in high school. Every class since then has been much easier for me and I have excelled. 

      Through extensive volunteer service at a local hospital’s emergency room, I became friends with a PA that works there in the hospital and was able to shadow her. I have been shadowing that PA consistently for eight months and this experience has confirmed my desire and passion to become a PA myself. I have been able to see the good and bad of what being a PA entails and I am enthusiastic to begin my journey.

      Now the moment of truth, why do I want to be a PA? A PA is the perfect marriage of my love for science and my love for other people. I do want to help people, but I also want to get to know people at a more personal level than I feel like doctors have the time to do. I want to be a PA because I feel like this is a great way to practice medicine at a very advanced level, yet be able to take the needed time to get to know my patients on a personal level and be able to build relationships with them.

      Due to our accident and the recovery that followed, I was able to determine that medicine is the career path that I wanted to pursue. The look of gratitude and relief on patients’ faces when they are given their diagnosis and means of treatment gives me great joy. I understand that every diagnosis is not positive, but through my training as a PA, I may have the opportunity to restore some hope for a patient who has suffered from a disease for a long time. I feel that as a PA, I can make a great impact in the field of medicine by improving the lives of the patients who I serve. 

[Zen11222]

I was wondering if someone could look at my personal statement and see how it looks? Thanks. 

 

     What was that loud explosion and what is that hot, searing pain I feel in my neck? What is that indescribable burning smell and why is there a cloud of dust, or is it smoke? These were the thoughts running through my mind on August 17, 2010. My family had been involved in an automobile accident and we were hit head on by a drunk driver. Medical personnel, firefighters, and police officers quickly arrived on the scene, having the mindset that they were arriving to a fatal accident.

      We were quickly transported via ambulances to a local hospital and our injuries were evaluated. Each of us had received injuries, ranging from bruising and minor lacerations, to broken bones of the pelvis and cervical spine. None of our injuries were life threatening, only troublesome. I had received a broken vertebra in my cervical spine.

       The recovery from this accident took quite a long time; I had to wear a hard collar for four weeks. Eventually most of the physical and emotional trauma we had received subsided. As we were going through this experience, we felt like we would never see the light at the end of the tunnel. But in time we did finally get back into a normal routine and things did become more normal again.

       This entire experience brought something to my awareness that I had not realized before. While I was in the emergency room, I was taken care of by a team of doctors and nurses who worked together to care for me and did what was best for my well-being. I did not have a physician assistant taking care of me while I was in the emergency room, however, but what I did see was teamwork. This type of teamwork is synonymous with what I have discovered about a PA and how they practice medicine. PA’s are an integral part of the medical team.

       After I recovered from the accident, I began researching my career goals. I knew I wanted to pursue a medical career, but I was not sure which branch. It was not long before I discovered the physician assistant career. As soon as I found this career path, I was certain that I had discovered the career that would satisfy my desire to help people, as well as my intellectual curiosity and desire to learn.

       I had been homeschooled all my life so college was a huge culture shock for me. Because of this, I struggled my first couple of semesters, as freshmen usually do. My grades in General Chemistry I and II were not as high as I had hoped. I was able, however, to attain above than average grades, despite the fact that I was not required to take a chemistry course in high school. Every class since then has been much easier for me and I have excelled. 

      Through extensive volunteer service at a local hospital’s emergency room, I became friends with a PA that works there in the hospital and was able to shadow her. I have been shadowing that PA consistently for eight months and this experience has confirmed my desire and passion to become a PA myself. I have been able to see the good and bad of what being a PA entails and I am enthusiastic to begin my journey.

      Now the moment of truth, why do I want to be a PA? A PA is the perfect marriage of my love for science and my love for other people. I do want to help people, but I also want to get to know people at a more personal level than I feel like doctors have the time to do. I want to be a PA because I feel like this is a great way to practice medicine at a very advanced level, yet be able to take the needed time to get to know my patients on a personal level and be able to build relationships with them.

      Due to our accident and the recovery that followed, I was able to determine that medicine is the career path that I wanted to pursue. The look of gratitude and relief on patients’ faces when they are given their diagnosis and means of treatment gives me great joy. I understand that every diagnosis is not positive, but through my training as a PA, I may have the opportunity to restore some hope for a patient who has suffered from a disease for a long time. I feel that as a PA, I can make a great impact in the field of medicine by improving the lives of the patients who I serve. 

Nice essay! You hit all of the key points. A couple of things I'd recommend though: 1. Switch your 3rd and 4th paragraphs. It would flow better if you put your ER experience before your recovery experience. Also, I love your inclusion of the words "desire" and "passion". 2. The second recommendation would be to put the reasons why physicians are so pressed for time and how they are rushed. Or maybe exclude the doctor sentiment altogether. Since you are not present to defend your stance, you don't want to put anything in your essay that may be misconstrued in a negative light.

 

Hope this helps. And good luck!!! Remember to practice your interviews. :))

[patachok]

I echo the advice above: do not badmouth the physicians, just take it out. I am a student, but when I read things like that, it just tells me you have not shadowed PAs in really busy clinics, when they have 15 min per patient. Just...get rid of.

Now...about the first paragraph, it is we, we, we, and more we. May be substitute, does not read well. Then...i know that you are trying to tie your ER experience with your desire to become a PA, but it does not, since you had no PA taking care of you. May be rework.

Also, too many "I want to help people", IMHO one is already too many, rewrite may be.

And lastly, keep your use of PA and physician assisstant consistent, not both interchangeably throughout the whole thing.

Good luck!

[Topsy]

Pretty good! I would say 100% remove the "I want to help people." Because the reality to that question kind of question is that no one says "I want to hurt people." Helping is the given. And the "now the moment of truth, why do I want to be a PA" is just filler. You could start that paragraph with "A PA is the perfect marriage..." without loosing anything.