Personal statement draft - Improvements?

[JMin]

     My journey has been a long one and reflecting back, I feel that I have gotten the most invaluable gift from this time in my life and that is growth. If there in one thing we strive for, it is to evolve.  Whether it is personally, professionally, academically, athletically, there is always something we can develop to get better or to be better people. Although no one can be perfect, I keep an open mind and an open heart to live to be the best person I can be everyday.           

     So it began, I graduated from high school a semester early and enrolled in the local community college. I was excited for this time my life. Before the semester began, I was in a car accident. A friend of mine hit black ice. The car continued over the edge of the road and fell about eight feet and into a tree. From the impact, my forehead collided with the dashboard. Next thing I knew,  I was in the emergency room. I had just turned eighteen the month before so my parents were not notified. I was in the hallway in a neck brace staring at the ceiling while blood ran and began to dry on my face. Alone, I wondered when someone would come to see me. Two hours later I was attended to. So many questions were asked that I was not ready to answer myself at my age. Do you want a lumbar puncture or an MRI? Would you like a general surgeon to suture the laceration on your face? I was finally able to contact my parents. I opted to get an MRI and see a specialist. 

     The next day I followed up with a plastic surgeon. He was kind and took great care in closing up the laceration. It was a great experience. In the days I took to recover, I thought about the care I received in the hospital and in the doctor's office. I knew the settings were different, but if someone kept me updated, cleaned up my face a little, or even a simple "are you okay?" it would have eased my worry. I gained an interest for the healthcare field because these contrasting experiences. A few weeks later I spoke to a friend who got me in contact with a cardiac surgeon. Soon after observed a coronary artery bypass surgery. I gowned up and went into the operating room where I stood nervously as the patient rolled in. I will never forget this moment, Dr. Pappas called me over; he placed a step stool beyond the head of the patient and told me to get on. He opened up her chest, and explained every little thing he did with such ease. I was impressed by the organization and professionalism by the whole operating room team. I thought, how awesome would it be if I could work in here one day and do what these people do?

I keep all of these experiences close to my heart. My night in the emergency room gave me the perspective of the patient, simple communication and making small human connections are so important. The professionalism demonstrated by the doctors and medical staff was something I looked up to. These experiences impelled my first step into healthcare working as a patient care technician at a level one-trauma hospital in the recovery room and outpatient surgery. The many interactions I had in such a fast paced environment have played an essential role in the development of who I am today. It taught me how to think on my feet, get in tune with the patient, look at them in the eye, talk to them, try to ease their worry or just take a moment to establish a human connection. I have been there to provide a friendly face in times of need. I have been there to listen when all they need is someone to talk to. I have been there when they just need someone to ask, "are you okay?" the same as I once needed. I have seen so many sad things, but I have also seen happy and great things. At the end of the day no matter the circumstance, I keep a positive outlook because life is beautiful for all that it is. 

      It took me time and experience to find balance in my life. I hit a rough patch while working and in school. I cared for my grandmother for years until she passed. It was difficult and at times distracting, it was also a meaningful time in my life. When she felt well enough, we would talk and she would tell me stories of our family. It was because of her, I was able to grow, understand my family, and myself better. I thought I would go to China one day and set up health clinics. Through caring for her, I realized there is a great need here in America. It is my passion to one day coordinate programs with the help of other healthcare professionals who can relate to this cause to educate and improve healthcare for all ethnic minorities and their communities.

     At this point in my journey, I would describe myself as a confident, compassionate individual who is highly adaptable. I attribute this to my life experiences, especially healthcare. It has been a long road toward this moment. I could not want anything more. With acceptance, I will dedicate myself to evolving my knowledge to help me care for others at a higher capacity and begin this next chapter of my life.

[pct2010]

JMin,

 

Your personal statement is off to a good start. It's evident that you're passionate about medicine but at no point in the statement do you mention the PA profession or the nature of how PAs fit into the medical system. Though you are expressing your personal experiences and passion for medicine, you need to tell the addcoms:

 

-why these experiences caused you to persue PA school

-the role/nature of the PA profession in your own words

-why YOU want to become a PA?

 

Additionally, you need to review the grammar/spelling of the personal statement as some of it is incorrect. Otherwise, you are headed in the right direction.

[sarahk21]

I agree with the previous post. You are only saying why you want to work in the medical field and not a physician assistant specifically. You have good content I would just clean it up some. There are some sentences that should be structured differently. For example I would take out the beginning of the following sentence: "So it began, I graduated from high school a semester early and enrolled in the local community college."

 

I would also start out with an opening paragraph to capture the readers attention. As it is now, it sounds like a very general statement that can apply to anyone. You want it to stand out. 

 

If you clean it up some and have a stronger opening and closing paragraph you will be on your way to having a great personal statement.