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I would like some feedback on my essay! be as harsh as possible. i am a re-applicant and really want to get in this time around! Thank you!

 

 

"You're a guardian angel." Four simple words uttered out of my patient's mouth as she handed me a folded slip of paper before she headed on her way home. Feelings of happiness and yet bewilderment overcame me all at the same time as I made my way back into the hospital. I had never been called a guardian angel before. Overwhelmed with curiosity, I opened the folded slip of paper she had handed me and stood for a moment while I read to myself in silence. What I had come to find out was my patient nominated me as a guardian angel for the hospital and was donating a fixed amount of money each month to the hospitals foundation on my behalf and the care I had given her during her stay. I felt overwhelmed with complete gratification. This is what I live for. This is why I want to be a Physician Assistant.

 

Taking care of people who cannot help themselves has always been something I've been passionate about. As a child I always found myself playing doctor and taking care of my stuffed animals and baby dolls. I even took care of my grandfather and grandmother when they were sick. Now that I am an adult I take care of people in the capacity of a patient care technician on a neurology/neurosurgical floor at Saint Vincent's Southside Hospital. Working in healthcare gives me a sense of gratification I feel no other field could give me. Every time I leave work, I leave knowing I have helped someone out and that is the best feeling I could ever feel.

 

I have known for a few years now that a career in medicine is what I want to do. I am sure of this because I am passionate about taking care of people and know it is the best gift I could ever give someone. I have worked alongside many of Physician Assistants and have shadowed them as well to know becoming a Physician Assistant is who I want to be. Physician Assistants are very personable and most of the time favored by patients because they spend the time listening to their concerns. In my eyes, they are patient advocates and truly care about the patients.

 

This year I will be applying as a re-applicant to PA school. Being rejected the first time around was hard to take in, but it has made me work even harder this past year to become a Physician Assistant. I have continued my education past my first bachelor’s degree, shadowed more PA’s, retaken the GRE, and continued to work as much as I can. I want more than anything to be a Physician Assistant and will continue to work my life towards that goal. I have never wanted something so much in my entire life. I know my passion and hard work and commitment will lead me to achieve this goal.

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I would not put in your essay the fact that you are a reapplicant. No one needs to know how many times you have applied. Don't waste space, instead reaffirm why you want to be a pa, what pas do, what you are going to do with this career .why do you think you deserve to get in and Bragg about yourself, something that is not in the application. This is a chance to sell yourself. Beginning and closing paragraphs have to be strong and memorable Good luck

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I think this essay starts off great but kind of loses steam toward the end. You have 5000 characters for the CASPA this essay was only like 2500 characters. I would say include more that talks about what has changed you into a better person and Think BIG: What do you plan to do with your PA career in the next 5-10 years?

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