I have changed my essay up quite a bit and I would like to submit it!

[la03]

“Well, see, if you spray this here it prevents corrosion, keeps your battery in better shape.” I watched in amazement. Eighty-three and here he was in eighty degree heat, despite my objections, installing my car battery. My grandfather would not let me leave for New Hampshire without him taking care of it personally. When he was done, I went to his house and relaxed all evening with him, a rarity due to my busy work schedule. I went home that night, went to bed and awoke the next morning to a call telling me he had had a heart attack and passed away. The loss of him was very hard on me and I remember wishing that I could have done something to prevent what had happened. After the loss of him a year ago, I promised myself I would never abandon my desire to become a physician assistant, a career he knew I was passionate about. He remains my greatest inspiration.

 

I reflected on becoming a physician assistant as an adolescent. At all of my office visits, I never directly interacted with my physician but always met with the physician assistant. She was always extremely knowledgeable, made me feel comfortable in the office, and was a fantastic role model. I will never forget how she made me feel like a part of the healthcare team by allowing me an active role in my treatments. As a result of her compassion, my trips to the office were laced with anticipation. All of these qualities are ones I hope to emulate as a physician assistant.

 

Throughout my teen years, I excelled in the sciences in high school. After doing especially well in my AP Chemistry class, I did some research and believed I would make a great pharmacist. However, it was not until I took AP Biology and Human Anatomy as a senior that I felt true passion for a subject. I would study for these classes during all my free periods; I loved the intricacies of the human body, the wonders of our world, and learning about how even the most seemingly insignificant parts of nature work together to produce life. At the time that I took these biology classes, I was already enrolled to begin at UConn. Despite my newfound passion, I went ahead with my initial decision.

 

I did not feel fulfilled as a pre-pharmacy major. I realized that I wanted to have a more hands on role with patients; I desired a career that involved diagnosing, counseling, and connecting with patients more intimately. It was then that I acknowledged what I had already known for a couple of years: I wanted to be a physician assistant. This brought me to UMass Dartmouth as a Biology major with a pre-health track and I absolutely loved it. The most fulfilling years of my life were spent here and I feel lucky that I was able to learn from some of the greatest minds in the field.

 

Desiring the chance to work with patients, I pursued classes to become a certified nursing assistant. Between studying, classes, and working another job, I tried to get as many hours in as possible as a CNA. I have been able to work closely with my coworkers, nurses and visiting physicians to provide exceptional patient care which has further convinced me I am pursuing the right career. Recently, my hard work has earned me a promotion to medication manager, a position in which I am responsible for the administration of medications to all residents at the facility, discussing medications with their families, and working closely with the pharmacies. More valuable than the medical experience, however, is the life experience I have gained working as a nurse aide. I have watched residents whom I have worked closely with pass away, I have washed their paper-mache skin, and I have listened to their stories of times past. This, more than anything, is what great healthcare is about. The healthcare skills I have accumulated as a nurse aide and the opportunities to connect with patients and their families will be crucial as a physician assistant.

 

Today, these are my motivations. After successfully earning my bachelor’s degree, working as a nurse aide, and experiencing what great healthcare is, I know I am ready to take on the challenge of beginning the physician assistant graduate program. I am so excited to continue my education and begin a fulfilling, challenging, and exciting career. I am sincerely committed to becoming a physician assistant and will face any challenges that present themselves along the way.

 

Thank you for considering me as a candidate for your program.

[grecob49]

Much better intro. Your old intro was a dime a dozen and this one really stabs out and shows your love for your grandfather. I think the essay is great, but omit the first sentence of the closing paragraph. After reading your essay, the reader will know that those are your motivators. Submit submit submit! Good luck!

[grecob49]

Haha stands* Damn autocorrect.

[la03]

thank you ! i appreciate the feedback ! fingers crossed