its not it's
louder not more loud
word. Most people are...
avoid using connectors (and, but... etc) too much
nurse's aide, or nursing assistant, not Nurses aide
where I learned a lot about what caring for someone really meant - try
where I learned about what caring for someone truly meant
this could be a new paragraph:
Using the techniques you learn through medical training you can spread love to someone who needs it. You can help someone heal both figuratively and literally.
By using the techniques you learn through medical training By working in the healthcare field, you can share love to someone who needs it. You can help someone heal both (figuratively and literally). help someone heal not just physically, but also emotionally and spiritually.
After my graduation form Virginia Tech After graduating from VT
They both inspire me to pursue this goal at all costs and to learn more each day. I was honored when they decided to write me recommendation letters to send to your school.
Keep sentences short and direct to the point, avoid connectors (and, but, because, etc)
I will work and I will fight to succeed at your school. I will graduate and strive to become a better practitioner each and every year. I will practice in a way that will make your school proud. I hope that you will give me a chance to show you all of these things. ----> don't beg like that. it sounds desperate like a politician asking for votes. be confident in your tone.