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AspiringPA21

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  1. By simple I did not mean an easy job, otherwise I would go back to being an ED tech, but speaking to a lot of RTs, the schooling (classroom and rotations) is definitely more simple compared to PA school. And I know they don't make a lot of money but I'm not even into making a lot. I'm not sure why I'm even thinking like this to be honest. It's not that I don't want to be a PA, I just don't have any motivation or desire to study so much. I feel overwhelmed with all the diseases, treatments, diagnosis and especially pharmacology which just isn't sticking. I also was the only student that did the lowest on majority of the exams so I do feel i'm not cut out for this (unless I had more time to study). This abundance of knowledge and short period to study makes me feel I'm not cut out for it but instead I need to do something less stressful.
  2. This is not how I felt when I began undergrad. I was extremely motivated to study and gain knowledge. I was very focused as well but the stress levels were lower. Thing is, prior to getting into PA school I was an EMT/ED tech and I liked how my life was going at the time. Stress was a lot less, living a healthy lifestyle, having time for friends and family, and exercising daily. I'm not sure if I hit this mental state because of the stress PA school has brought or if it's because of depression that I feel this way because I did not feel like this in the past. I was also never a good test-taker so the poor grades I received during didactic year has also caused me to think I'm not good enough for medicine, specifically where I am treating/diagnosing and that's when I began thinking like this (when I originally posted). I realized I enjoy more hands-on work rather than having to do critical thinking and a lot of stuff I learned does not stick to me (especially pharmacology). I almost feel like I'm in a mid-life crisis, except not in my mid-life. And unfortunately my school does not allow leave, and if you do leave go you have to begin all over again from first trimester. I do feel as if after the first trimester I should have left but I was not sure if I felt that way because of my poor grades. Now that I made it to rotations, I realized I do want to be a PA but I have no desire to study anymore or wake up early for rotations.
  3. Hey guys. I wanted to give an update. Hope you all get a chance to read this. I started rotations two weeks ago so I made it thus far. But, I have the same feelings again. I passed my last trimester with bare minimum. I did not study much due to the weather but now in rotations I'm overwhelmed. I mostly don't have the energy/motivation/desire to study anymore or put in so many rotation hours. I just want to get paid. I realized this past year I do not do well under stress at all, especially when it comes to school (I have never been a school kind of person). I know I put so much money and hours to get into school that I have wasted a lot of time up until this point. I do regret it. I am 29 years old and I wish 9 years ago I chose a different path. A path where I could be making money and living a less stressful life at this age. This stress is taking a toll on me (I stress eat a lot of junk food and I can't stop) and I don't get along with family or friends under so much stress that I lash out on them. It just doesn't feel right. It's a disappointing thought of being in my 2nd week of rotation and everyone knows you've made it this far only to be thinking of doing something simple like respiratory therapy or my MBA. Is this normal during rotations? I'm afraid I wont do well on EORs either. I'm hanging by a thread and thinking if I fail PA school now, I would be devastated but also less stressed but I wish I chose a different path a long time ago instead of wasting all this time and money. I don't know what to do.
  4. You all are amazing! Thank you so much. So, I did end up failing one more exam but I think I am learning how to study for it. It did get me down the first day but I knew I had to pick myself up and move on since I still have two exams left in that course. I have been motivated. I know to put extra time studying. I'm making sure I understand every slide before I move on and I'm finding ways to memorize and understand the material in a short time. Although I'm upset because I made very silly mistakes (I do think my test taking skills and study skills are truly lacking) but I am trying to get better at time management so this way I start studying in advance. I'm glad I posted this. You all have motivated me and since the day I posted this I have only been motivated and studying and I'm taking it one step at a time. For the most part, only less than 4 students having failed 1-3 exams so far. I have smart students in my class and they have found the study methods that work for them to get A's. I'm progressing.. I hope. Thank you all, I will keep you updated!
  5. That's amazing! I'm glad I know now this feeling seems mutual with many. I wish you all the best! We will conquer.
  6. I did know it was hard but I did not know what made it hard. It's not the material, it's more so the time constraint due to classes being 7-8 hours a day and then studying for 5-6 after that and trying to get sleep to be able to function and then having 2-3 exams a week. I am not giving up anytime soon. I have decided to put 110%. I have worked a long 7 years without ever doing a fulltime job because I've only wanted to get into PA school and become a PA and I did use up a lot of time, money, and energy to get here so I will not give up that easy. I do want to be a PA. Thank you so much!
  7. Thank you so much. I've done two exams since and have done really well. I am, however, struggling with Pharmacology and Micro (2nd exam coming up, 1st one did not go so well). Hoping the way I'm studying will work.
  8. That's a good idea. A lot of my classmates either already have their own study groups (Especially the females) or they like to study alone and do group questions 1-2 days before the exam. I guess I can ask around but for the most part, I have studied alone and have done better like that but maybe I can try with a few people who are willing. Thank you
  9. Not too far. Just to a neighboring state. And thank you, I will.
  10. I will definitely try that. I guess my failed exams have traumatized me. I know if I start to pass I probably wouldn't think like this. Hopefully, and eventually, I can find the way that works for me (it's what I really fear, that I won't find that method) but group studying is a start. Thank you very much for the feedback!
  11. Thank you so much. This has motivated me. If I study my hardest and still don't make it, at least I'll be able to say I tried my best and gave my 110% and if my hardest is sufficient I'll make it. Thank you for the wise words!
  12. It's not that I dont want to be in healthcare and I don't mind going to school. It's the intensity of a PA program. It's definitely more stressful and a lot more work than an MBA/RN/RT. I know these degrees hold their own struggle and efforts but based off of friends who have done those degrees, I don't think it's comparable to PA school. I just think the intensity for me, while I'm not that motivated anymore because of failing exams, is making me think differently... thinking more in the "go an easier route." I have bursts of motivation and then it goes away. I'm in my late 20s so I know I'm already getting much older and I don't want to waste time anymore. I knew I told myself if I didn't get into PA school after 2018, I was going to switch to any of those degrees above. But I did and now I'm going crazy thinking about this. I have all these mixed emotions, it's definitely not what I wanted. I do see myself as a PA, but I also don't know how to pass these exams. I asked the faculty, they aren't very helpful because they just say "what works for one person might not work for you so you need to find your own study method." Clearly, I can't use my undergrad studying method that got me A's because it didn't work for the past exams but what if I don't find the right way to study and I fail the next few exams. So I'm pretty bummed out and I feel like a disappointment.
  13. I graduated with a bachelors in 2014 and for the past 3 years, I have taken classes paying out of pocket, working per diem jobs to gain PCE, shadowing, and doing community service. Even my parents have put a lot of time and money into me getting into PA school. I got in (on my first try) this year and I was very excited and grateful. I spent money and time preparing to move (it's out of state), and begin the program. One month in and I have come to realize that working for the past 3 years has made me lazy. And by lazy I mean, I have been trying to focus and study but I just don't want to put in the time and effort because I feel like in the past month everything I have learned is not sticking. The intensity of PA school is getting to me. At the start of classes I was getting up early and studying, I was feeling good, motivated and energized. I felt like my dreams will come true. But then I failed a few exams. I did not think I would do as bad as I did. I have never been an intense studier. In undergrad the classes I took were easy and because of that, I thought I can handle PA school. I feel like I can do RT or maybe even RN. But I feel PA school is too intense for how demotivated I am. When I told PAs i got in they said "watch until you begin, it's going to be hell" and since that time I began thinking how I don't want that and how I won't do well because i knew the type of person I am. The amount of stress i can handle and amount of work I would put in. What's worse is the fact I have been working for the past 3 years and got comfortable with how life was going and not job-wise but in the sense of going to work, hanging with friends/family and having the time to exercise and relaxing. I miss home, I miss the going-to-work and hanging with friends lifestyle. I'm sure if I did not fail the exams I wouldn't be thinking like this because I would've been fine with my study habits but now I have realized the program is only going to get intense and dense. I really don't know what to do. I know a lot of people would want to be in my position right now - in PA school. But I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel exhausted already and get tension headaches. I think I just miss being home. In the past 2 weeks, I have been motivated to study maybe twice and I try my hardest to get through but at the same time, I have sat in class searching for RT/RN/MBA/MHA/Computer Science or Finance degrees. I do have loans, and I would have to move back so I would regret the time and money I wasted doing all this but I feel like if my mind is not 100% in PA school, I will only stress and lose focus. Of course all my friends, family members, and coworkers know about my acceptance, it'll be really embarrassing just dropping but I guess I found out who I really am in this time, or maybe I'm just scared that if I failed exams now, what if I fail other exams in the future and end up with more loan debt and wasted time. I'm posting this because I want to know if anyone felt this way in PA school whether it was in the beginning or after failing exams and if so, how did you overcome it. I cannot believe I am feeling this way sitting in a PA program, what I spent so much time to get into. Any insight would be appreciated.
  14. I just got off the waitlist and accepted at another PA program closer to home. Hope this helps open up the seat for someone else!
  15. Just got the call. I was pulled off the waitlist and accepted my offer to be part of the class of 2020!
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