I am facing a tough spot and looking specifically for the names of some good self help books
I am a 20 yr PA
Typically changed jobs every 2-5 years
Two jobs ago I had to quit as it was a totally toxic setting where administrators ran the jail
this job started great but a huge amount of decrease in the provider staff (2 medical retirements, one leave) has taken a 5 provider practice to 2. As well the Doc/Owner/Manager appreciated my help with running the clinic but then would not back me up on staffing issues and policy. Needless to say I have resigned my job, and found another. Last Day is coming up, and I have about 2 months before starting my new position.
The problems are numerous I am facing and having a tough time working my way through them
1) I am totally burned out. I no longer have any patience with COVID topics - rather is the the staff member rooming a patient with a 101.8 temp and not telling me (we do not see febrile patients in clinic) or that she looked at me with a strange face when I asked her to go recheck a temp and if febrile (she clearly had no recollection of the past 1.5 years of me telling her this and this being the office policy. Or patients that want to use me as their verbal unload point on why they are not getting their vaccine (I was unaware it has killed 3000 and the medical profession is in cahoots with the gov't to hide these facts.
2) I am feeling regret and disappointment as leaving my current job - it is a great panel, and the doc (medicine wise) treats me fairly, like a partner, and we support each other. But we have 5 staff members, 4 who are LONG term employees, 3 of which were laid off with COVID and were not going to be rehired (long story short is they are great people but awful employees. (i.e. refuse to learn computer, refuse to take BP's, refuse to log vaccines, yell at patients) But when push came to shove he rehired all 3. So we are not back to full staff (for when we had 5 providers) and we really only need 2.5 good staff....
3) The practice is not sustainable with out me there. I have full access to the financials and this is simply a fact. Overhead heavy (5000 sq feet) with 5 employees on 1 provider is a no go. And he has not made efforts to hire anyone. I think he is either going to close or sell out.
4) in spite of the employees being fairly poor at their jobs, not being team players and actively undermining me (they run to him and he sides with them) they are all nice people and on a case-by-case basis they needed the job and all are my friends.
Problems I am truly struggling with
1) doc ran a great practice into the ground by caring about his employees to much and avoiding tough decisions. His total lack of big picture vision will be the end of the practice. I understand it is his practice and he gets to decide but I have some survivor guilt already starting. (as mentioned I already have another job lined up). Had I stayed on there is about a 60% chance the practice would have continued - hence I feel guilty (but I am being forced to lower my standard of care due to the employees so I am okay/at peace with leaving)
2) these are my friends and I am leaving them.
3) I truly thought this was the place I would retire out of. As stated I have changed jobs every 3-5 years and I am 10-15 yrs out of retirement. I no longer have the energy for job changes, just want to be in a supported environment and valued. I know leaving is the right thing to do but emotionally I am not ready to change jobs again.
4) I am a mother of a 4-7 yr old, through covid times, and it have been rough. rough, rough on the kids/family. I want to be there for them but the angst, lack of patience self is making it tough (and at the same time they are desperate for the structure and interactions of schooling which start in a few weeks)
So long winded explanation to get to this final question
I am close to quitting medicine, but the pay it essential as a young family. So I have another job lined up (pay raise) and know that I am in a pretty negative emotional state. Yes I am aware family comes first but I need to still work. I am looking for suggestions on a self help book that I might be able to read/consider/ponder that might allow me to work through a lot of these negative feelings in the last two jobs. Most the issues and reasons I have left have been outside my control (and almost all my peers agree that the last two jobs were really tough settings) were not with in my control and I am very thankful to have stayed employed through out covid.
So anyone have any suggestion on some books to read?? The self help type.....