I am admittedly a hopeless perfectionist - which I understand is my own hang up.
Nevertheless this manifests in constantly looking things up and researching and learning throughout my work day above what is feasible in a 9 hour day. This means I go home exhausted with 8-12 unfinished notes, only to do it all again the next day. I agonize over anything I am not confident on or “get wrong” and carry it with me for the rest of the day.
Reviewing labs, following up on messages, answering curb sides from the clinical staff takes me 10 times as long as the other providers because I research everything I don’t know.
I am SO burnt out and I can’t imagine spending one minute on CME or learning more outside of work which makes me feel like a huge failure. Because I KNOW I don’t know enough and I’m terrified of being responsible for poor patient outcomes and inadvertently hurting someone