Thanks in advance for taking the time to help out. This is my very first draft/attempt and I mostly just want to get a sense of whether or not I am headed in the right direction. I know there are several problems (feel free to point them out!). It's short, and lacks some cohesion but like I said, am I heading down the right road or do I need to change gears entirely? Thanks Again!
When I looked down all I could see were dark clouds sweeping up the valley like a tsunami of cold rain and bad memories about to be made; bad news for