FINAL DRAFT! Strong enough? Thoughts plz!

[lastone]

I grew up in an interracial military family. The nomadic life of a Navy brat was challenging, and I was often ostracized for being different. “What are you?” my peers would scornfully ask. With a black father, a Jewish mother raising me in the Catholic faith, and two white half-siblings, the answer didn't come easily.  

 

As we moved from state to state and I continued to seek out my identity, I came upon a television docudrama about first responders and the 911 system. The show captivated me. EMS work seemed meaningful and exciting, and the compassion and dedication of the paramedics and firefighters resonated with me on a deep level.

 

Now that I have become one of the responders I so admired, I have experienced both the rewards and limitations of working in EMS. As a provider whose priority is patient care, I have realized my scope of practice is restricting the impact I wish to make. The opportunity to provide patients with preventive care and education, in addition to learning more about diagnoses and treatments, drives my desire to become a physician assistant (PA).

 

“Why don’t you go to medical school?” my mother always asks. A retired Navy physician, she would be thrilled to see me follow in her footsteps. While her influence planted the seed, medical school is not the right choice for me, as the intensity of residency and the unknown variable of match location are not congruous with my family life. I initially went back to school to become a nurse, but realized the PA profession is most congruent with my current experience, as well as my educational and patient care goals.

 

 

In seven years of EMS work, I have treated many patients without access to basic healthcare. As a PA, I can become part of the team of providers increasing that access, so more people, especially those from underserved populations, can receive the care they deserve. Furthermore, physician assistants practice in a teamwork setting, an environment in which I excel. In working with and shadowing PAs in both emergency room and surgical settings, I have observed firsthand the compassionate and comprehensive care they provide, and it is this kind of care I strive to achieve.

 

Long before I was aware of the PA profession, I was an absent-minded and inconsistent student who struggled with deadlines. My undergraduate GPA bears witness to my lackadaisical attitude, but as I have matured both personally and academically, I have become a dedicated, lifelong learner with a passion for education. This turnaround is most evident in my performance as a paramedic student. While I completed the rigorous program, I was working full time, planning a wedding, step-parenting two teenagers, and performing professionally as a musician. In my dedication to the program, I discovered the true meaning of hard work, determination, and tenacity.

 

Working in EMS in both urban and suburban service areas has enriched my ability to think quickly and critically, encouraged me to trust my instincts, and strengthened the teamwork skills I've honed as a musician. I have realized that a little compassion goes a long way, and that empathy is the mark of a great provider.

 

 

My work experiences prior to my involvement in EMS have helped mold me into the provider I am today. The students I worked with as a prevention education specialist taught me just as much about communication and acceptance as any lesson plan I created and implemented. Likewise, as I cared for the elderly in an assisted living community, I learned to appreciate the mundane tasks of daily life that lose their mundanity when one is dependent upon another to complete them.

 

Above all, I discovered a sense of vitality in helping people in my community, and from the connections created through each interaction. Dr. Maya Angelou once said, “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” As a musician, I strive to connect with the audience in a meaningful way. My approach to practicing medicine as a PA should be no different.

 

The lessons I’ve learned, along with my varied experiences, make me a well-rounded provider who is no stranger to teamwork in the workplace. I am thoroughly prepared to face the challenges of a demanding PA program and help lead the charge to wellness in a changing world. I hope to increase understanding and compliance, ultimately affecting patient outcomes.

 

In a sense, I’m still that wayfaring girl, striving to become something more. I learned to take things in stride from a young age, and credit my military childhood for cultivating my level head and easy rapport with strangers. These qualities remain an indelible part of who I am, and continue to serve me well in my work as a healthcare professional.

 

“What are you?” people still inquire. Now, I have an answer: I am a woman of mixed race. I am a mother, a wife, a healer, and an artist. It would be a privilege to also identify myself as a physician assistant.

[Emyc63]

Hello there. I think your essay sounds great. I personally wouldn't change a thing. If I were a committee member and read your essay, I think I definitely would invite you for an interview. I would want to learn and get to know you more. Well done. Best of luck to you this cycle. :]

[lastone]

Thanks! You too! 

[Katier123]

Your essay is great! It definitely stands out from the usual "dramatic story" type of essay. Some posts have cautioned against highlighting any academic deficiencies in your PS. You have done an excellent job of taking a "blemish" and making it supportive. Great job and best of luck to you :) 

[lastone]

Thanks for the feedback, and good luck to you as well! 

[NicholeMF87]

I have to tell you that i can feel your creatively in your essay! very inspiring and I hope that mine will come out as amazing as yours. MUCH LUCK!

[lastone]

Hey thanks! If you need any editing help lmk I'd be happy to help. GL! 

[toopunny]

This is wonderful!! Your essay flows smoothly and gives the reader a detailed image of who you are and what you aspire to be.

[paproof]

Interesting introduction, but overall this seems to cover most of the bases.  Good work. 

[BBPA]

If you read my essay, you'd find it to be hauntingly similar and maybe even better. Easy read!

[JED617]

you tie up the essay really well!! i enjoyed this a lot :)

[sjmills]

This is excellent! I'd leave it just the way it is. Nice work. 

[gmv11]

i think its absolutely perfect.

[saraaawisey]

great essay! the only thing that i would comment to change is not using any contractions in your essay other than when you quote someone. just more formal that way. so i would changethose. that is just a personal preference I guess, so that change would be up to you. 

i also dont think you should start a new paragraph with "above all", i think that that paragraph and the one before it can be put together as 1 paragraph.

 

you already introduced the abbreviation PA as physician assistant, so you dont need to spell it out again in this sentence: "Furthermore, physician assistants practice...." unless you really wanted to

 

all very minor suggestions, otherwise, great essay! hope you all the best
 

[lilackitten]

Wow, that last paragraph gave me chills. Well done.

[TheGunsnMoses]

You achieved all the goals of a PS, it's great as it is.

 

Your opening paragraph caught the reader's attention and was tied to the conclusion paragraph.

You answered why PA and not MD, RN.

You talked about your work experience, what you have learned and how that has shaped your goals and how PA will allow you to achieve that goal.  

You tactfully explained any GPA discrepancies and how you have improved upon it.

I have an idea of who you are from solely reading the PS.

The flow is solid [or fluid].[punz for dayz]  

No unnecessary or rambling sentences that I noted.

 

I didn't check the grammar and spelling in super detail though, but it's probably fine.

You didn't go into too much detail of what a PA does but you don't need to, I didn't in my PS either.

[lastone]

Thanks all. Got in to my first choice program! :D 

[rudy]

The nomadic life of a Navy brat was challenging enough, and I was often ostracized for being different. I grew up in an interracial military family. “What are you?”, my peers would scornfully ask. My father was African American, my mother was Jewish, and I have two white half siblings, while being raised in the Catholic faith. The answer to their curiosity did not come easily.

With a black father, a Jewish mother raising me in the Catholic faith, and two white half-siblings, the answer didn't come easily.  

 

As we moved, state to state, and I continued to seek out and settle in my identity, I came upon a television docudrama about first responders and the 911 system. The show captivated me. EMS Emergency Medical Services (EMS) seemed to be meaningful and exciting. and the compassion and dedication of paramedics and firefighters resonated within me on a deep level. - Change wording?

 

Now that I have become ​After becoming one of the responders I so admired, I have experienced both the rewards and limitations of working in EMS. As a provider whose priority isMY PRIORITY is patient care. I have come to realize my scope of practice is restricting the impact I wish to make. The opportunity to provide patients with preventive care and medical education, in addition to learning about diagnostics and treatments, drives my desire to become a physician assistant (PA).

 

“Why don’t you go to medical school?” my mother often asks. A retired Navy physician, she would be thrilled to see me follow in her footsteps. While her influence planted the seed, medical school is not the right choice for me. The intensity of residency and the unknown variable of match location are not congruous with my family life. There was a short period that I attempted to pursue a medical profession through nursing. I has attended school with the intent to become a nurse, but quickly found that the PA profession suited my educational and patient care goals as well as built on my EMS experience.  I initially went back to school to become a nurse, but realized the PA profession is most congruent with my current experience, as well as my educational and patient care goals.

 

In seven years of EMS work, I have treated many patients without access to basic healthcare. As a PA, I would become part of the team of providers increasing the ability to access this nessescity so more people, especially those from It would be my desire that underserved populations would be able to receive the care they deserve. Furthermore, physician assistants practice in a teamwork setting, an environment in which I excel. In working with and shadowing PAs in both emergency room and surgical settings, I have observed firsthand the compassionate and comprehensive care they provide, and it is this kind of care I strive to achieve.

 

Long before I was aware of the PA profession, I was an absent-minded and inconsistent student who struggled with deadlines. My undergraduate GPA bears witness to my lackadaisical attitude, but as I have matured both personally and academically, I have become a dedicated, lifelong learner with a passion for education. This turnaround is most evident in my performance as a paramedic student. While I completed the rigorous program, I was working full time, planning a wedding, step-parenting two teenagers, and performing professionally as a musician. In my dedication to the program, I discovered the true meaning of hard work, determination, and tenacity.

 

Working in EMS in both urban and suburban service areas has enriched my ability to think quickly and critically, encouraged me to trust my instincts, and strengthened the teamwork skills I've honed as a musician. I have realized that a little compassion goes a long way, and that empathy is the mark of a great provider.

 

 

My work experiences prior to my involvement in EMS have helped mold me into the provider I am today. The students I worked with as a prevention education specialist taught me just as much about communication and acceptance as any lesson plan I created and implemented. Likewise, as I cared for the elderly in an assisted living community, I learned to appreciate the mundane tasks of daily life that lose their mundanity when one is dependent upon another to complete them.

 

Above all, I discovered a sense of vitality in helping people in my community, and from the connections created through each interaction. Dr. Maya Angelou once said, “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” As a musician, I strive to connect with the audience in a meaningful way. My approach to practicing medicine as a PA should be no different. Not essential, over writing here.

 

The lessons I’ve learned, along with my varied experiences, make me a well-rounded provider who is no stranger to teamwork in the workplace.*** You mention team work a lot, try to be more well rounded*** I am thoroughly prepared to face the challenges of a demanding PA program and help lead the charge to wellness in a changing world. I hope to increase understanding and compliance, ultimately affecting patient outcomes. I like this a lot!

 

In a sense, I’m still that wayfaring girl, striving to become something more. I learned to take things in stride from a young age, and credit my military childhood for cultivating my level head and easy rapport with strangers. These qualities remain an indelible part of who I am, and continue to serve me well in my work as a healthcare professional.

 

“What are you?” people still inquire. Now, I have an answer: I am a woman of mixed race. I am a mother, a wife, a healer, and an artist. It would be a privilege to also identify myself as a physician assistant.