I am past my two year mark in the emergency department, and it’s still a rollercoaster mentally and emotionally. i alternate between A and B.
A) Some days I feel like a rockstar, and I walk out of my shift feeling like I knew what to do with every patient and feeling like I connected with my patients.
B) There are other days when I’m running around like a chicken with its head cut off, forgetting things, having long patient stays because things aren’t getting done and I don’t have time to hound the nurse, and I go home and lay awake and realize things I forgot to do, some small and some big.
I hate B days and I am realizing is that what it comes down to in part is lack of physician support. Usually during a B day the department is slammed and everyone is struggling to keep their heads above water and so the physicians seem annoyed to be hounded with questions. I get the vibe that they think I should know this by know or that I do already know it so why am I talking to them about it?! At the same time, two years out how am I to be expected to function as an independent provider? The pressures are on to do so and I truly yearn for my early days when I staffed every single non straightforward case with a doc. Without that collaboration I don’t feel like I am growing as much as I used to.
I guess what I am asking is, at this stage in the game, how much physician involvement is reasonable for me to ask for?