I f you’ve you been in the cockpit of a kayak for very long you become familiar with the eddy line. It is that divide in the water that marks the clear demarcation between two currents, sometimes flowing in almost opposite directions. They’re common in my neck of Puget Sound, where tidal currents produce profound eddys around the islands and other obstacles. One eddy, which really left an impression on me, was in Lake Superior.  I lived for ten years in the lake-side community of Marquette. I loved it. Just to the east of Marquette was the old coal-fired power plant. The plant sucked in the ice cold waters of Lake Superior to cool down their boilers, then the water was pumped back out into the lake through a sandy channel.  We used to swim at the outlet of those waters and where they met the more icy water. You think that the two would mix creating a comfortable place to swim but they didn’t. What you had was a current flowing towards shore of water with a temperature around 38 degrees. Then, flowing away from shore was water that was 80 degrees. Between the two, along the razor-thin eddy line, was this strange world of being too hot and too cold. My process of starting this clinic is not a place of lukewarmness. It is the eddy between the greatest PA job in the country, hands down . . . and a total personal disaster and nothing in-between. I will cut to the chase.  Today . . . drum-roll please . . .  $2400 came in the mail. On top of that, another statement showed a rejection of $1200 over a simple, and fixable, error. We will resubmit that tomorrow.  So, for four days in a row I’ve had money coming in.  $600, $600, $135 and then $2400. This is huge.  For the first time I’m feeling some intoxicating hope. It would take only a feather to push me from an seemingly endless nightmare of frigid fear into a blissful warmth of euphoria. I’m not out of the woods yet, but I can see the bright sun shining in the clearing. I was also humbled that one of you followers, and I won’t say whom, sent me a PM offering to loan me–at no interest–the money I needed to stay afloat.  I was not talking about my money troubles as a veiled hint for someone to loan me money but in the spirit of my candidness.  The money worries were consuming me day and night and if I didn’t speak of them openly here, then there would be no point of blogging at all.  No, I would never accept money from a stranger . . . not unless it was an investor with whom I had a formal contract with an interest schedule. However, I am deeply grateful for the thought. I always considered myself as generous, but I would never consider loaning a stranger a large sum of money at no interest. There’s a lot of good people in PA community. But, the loan is a mute point.  If the momentum continues, and I see no reason that it won’t, I will make payroll on August 15th with no help from the bank, or anyone . . . for the first time.  I think I will sleep well tonight.

Okay, mostly good news. We’ve had $2,000 come in during the past two days . . . and no bills. So here is where we stand. 10,000 9,500 9,000 8,500 8,000 7,500 7,000 6,500 6,000 5,500 5,000 4,500 4,000 3,500 $$ 3,000 $$$$$ 2,500 $$$$$ 2,000 $$$$$ 1,500 $$$$$ 1,000 $$$$$ 0,500 $$$$$ I’ve also found a possible source for emergency funds. It will cost me a arm and a leg in the long run, but the money might be there.

Today . . . not one penny has come in (except for co-pays). I guess if there is a bright side, no bills. I’ve been looking over my biller’s shoulder. I’ve sent her to several classes, plus she had about ten years in the billing business. She is doing nothing wrong. However, I am learning, that if you are a new clinic it takes a very, very long time to get paid at first. But can I last? I’m not sure. So the tally hasn’t changed and I’m a day closer to July 31st when I have $7,000 due in rent, salaries and etc. I’m shooting for 10 K because soon after the 31 st (2-3rd of August) I will own 2-3 more grand. I didn’t sleep so well last night. I’m back to the stage that if this was a year ago . . . no, I wouldn’t have done it. However, for the first time in years, I love coming to work and I love what I do. It is a paradox. 10,000 9,500 9,000 8,500 8,000 7,500 7,000 6,500 6,000 5,500 5,000 4,500 4,000 3,500 3,000 2,500 2,000 1,500 $$ 1,000 $$$$$ 0,500 $$$$$

I was sweating bullets but we did it. We made another payroll. I think the company has a little over 4 grand in the bank . . . but that’s a false security blanket. I owe 2 grand on a credit card, 2 grand for Botox and I have a bill coming in soon for about 4 grand. The good news is that we are still working very, very hard. We’ve had to fill every day’s lunch “break” for the past two weeks with work in patients. The work load is still beyond my wildest dreams . . . but the payment faucet is still cold. As of today, we’ve billed about 42 K in services. We’ve received (after 5 weeks with the doors open) about$3400. It is so hard to be patient and watch the bank account struggling to take its first breath. But it has to be weened from the vent (bank) soon. I’m praying that the money dam will soon break and the cash will start to flow. This next two weeks will be the biggest test. I add the MD to the payroll by the next pay day. There is so much going well. We had two diagnostic challenges so far (which is unusual for a headache practice). I think we performed in a stellar fashion. These were patients who had been misdiagnosed by several physicians . . . and had very serious problems (brain tumor, hydrocephalus and one with temporal arteritis). We got them diagnosed and sent to the proper care in record time. Both patients have written long letters expressing their great gratitude. I take nothing for granted. I’m still working on marketing from every angle I can. The future looks very promising but it is still tense. I’m dreaming of the day when this season of incredible stress, waiting, counting pennies and hoping for checks in the mail will end.