Personal Statement Review Request

[hvyas]

I would really appreciate some help with reviewing and improving my personal statement for PA schools. Any and all help is greatly appreciated.

 

There are a few reasons to why I would like to pursue a career in the field of medicine. My motivations to develop a deeper understanding of medicine roots from my interest in microbiology and the persistence of life, and how in even the most destitute of times, life can find hope to persevere against odds to succeed. Despite having a degree in economics, my experiences with a wide spectrum of patients while working as a pharmacy technician has made me realize that I can make a greater impact within society as a physician’s assistant. I found myself amazed at how these patients were able to find hope and persevere against all odds to succeed, especially when faced against difficult health challenges. The thought of having such a prominent and profound influence on the lives and well-being of patients through the practice of medicine is what drives me to become an exceptional Physician’s Assistant.

As an undergraduate student, I experienced some personal difficulties, which resulted in academic probation and delay in completing my undergraduate degree. My lack of a strong social support network and reproach from family members resulted in suffering from depression & having low self-esteem. These pressures, in conjunction with financial hardships, resulted in my inability to perform well academically, & subsequently led to my downfall. However, after thorough introspection, I realized that the only way to rectify my situation was to improve my self-confidence and to develop a greater internal drive to fulfill my requirements necessary to obtain my degree in economics to expedite my undergraduate career and to pursue graduate level education, through my most recent academic experiences. Looking back on my past shortcomings and coming with terms to necessity of a proper education in order to earn a respectable position in society; thus facilitating my resolve to succeed on this path which has been demonstrated by my body of work in the classroom over the past few years. Those difficult times of discovery allowed me to gather myself & complete my economics degree, all the while simultaneously entrenching myself in the rewarding field of medicine through working as a pharmacy technician.

My time spent working as a pharmacy technician has afforded me with a variety of patient care experiences and allowed me to develop interpersonal relations. Furthermore, I feel as though I have become more efficient at time management, as well as improving my ability to multitask. While these experiences have permitted me to strengthen my personal characteristics, as a pharmacy technician I do not have an influential effect on the health care outcomes of many marginalized patients, that is, in comparison to the responsibilities endowed to PAs. In essence, I feel that my potential as a healthcare provider is currently being neglected as I am unable to directly impact the lives of these people. My time thus far within pharmacy has afforded me a cohesive understanding of my capability to become a committed health care provider with in society.

My experiences while shadowing a PA have solidified my decision to pursue a career in this profession. While following a physician assistant at a local Family Medicine clinic, I was able to see first-hand a broad spectrum of patients and various types of cases. I am still able to vividly recall one particular patient encounter from my first day at the clinic. A middle-aged Caucasian woman presented with a chief complaint of fever and abdominal pain. While obtaining her history of present illness and her past medical history, it was brought to our attention that she had been admitted to the hospital merely a few months prior to this visit. She mentioned that she had been diagnosed with pancreatitis and was treated with conservative medical management for several days. Upon physical examination, the patient had diffuse abdominal tenderness; however, she exhibited a positive Murphy’s sign. Given the gravity of the situation, we determined that the best course of action was to transfer the patient to the ER, which provided me with much needed insight to how primary care providers epitomize their importance within society. This experience piqued my interest and continues to serve as my motivation for becoming an extraordinary physician’s assistant.

            The role of Physician Assistant within the field of medicine is crucial with regards to the responsibilities associated with the nature of the work. With my newly found sense of self and work ethic, I am hoping to influence others who have experienced hardships, such as myself, through my perseverance and determination. Moreover, I am committed to improving society and the welfare of the community in which I live through the practice of medicine.

[hustleforthePAC]

I'll be the first to point it out. Get rid of 's assistant. Some schools will throw out your application with this detrimental mistake!

 

 

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[paproof]

DEFINITELY get rid of the "s" in "physician's assistant"

 

But what you definitely need to work on is your introduction!  It's your first impression!  

 

And don't start discussing your weaknesses so early in your essay!