PA statement

[cbhartman]

I don't have a dramatic revelation about deciding to become a PA.  I need some help, if anyone has time, to improve my personal statement.  Thanks

 

 

“By the end of this semester, there will be only 78 of you left in this room. Those will be provisionally admitted to the athletic training program for one semester.  Then, only 36 will remain to finish the program.” The eager young faces of 130 freshmen, cramming into the conference room and spilling out into the study area, turned solemn as the director of the athletic training program delivered this news.  Inside the heads of many, panic replaced excitement as the thoughts of having to pick a second career choice loomed before they had even gotten to experience what they thought would be their future. In my strong-willed brain though, a challenge had been issued and I had never been one to back down from a challenge.  No matter what it took, I would be one of those 36.

            Each semester seemed like a battleground as those who should be imparting knowledge and encouraging us in our career choice made it more discouraging and difficult. The more we were challenged though, the more I dug in my heels. The words of Thomas Edison kept running through my mind, “Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always try just one more time.” By senior year, only 14 of us had survived. Others had given up when the demands seemed impossible or when their stressed out brains could handle no more. For those of us who tenaciously hung on, the hands-on experience and knowledge we gained made us confident in our abilities to diagnose and treat any athletic injury we would encounter on the field. Graduation day would see only 12 athletic training students, with a 100% certification pass rate, walk proudly across the stage. I had fought for what I wanted and I had won!

            As I prepared for graduate school, I volunteered with my family’s general practioner to acquire not only knowledge, but also experience in a health care setting. To see him interact with his patients made me realize that he had been with them through many health scares and battles, which created a strong bond. This made me start to question my career choices for graduate school. At the time, he did not have a physician assistant and this extra time spent on patients meant that he could not see as many. As we talked during the summer, I saw his heart for people and his frustration at the shortage of available physician assistants who could assist him. The way his words stirred my heart made me long to be a part of his team so that I could continue the compassion I had witnessed and give more people access to this high quality healthcare.

            That same summer, I spent time with an orthopaedic surgeon and also worked with his physician assistant, Kyle.  My first day was spent in the operating room as I observed Dr. D and Kyle performing several surgeries. They seemed to read each other’s minds as they worked as a team to complete each surgery. This feeling took me back to my days of playing sports and how much I loved being a part of a team.  Whenever Kyle had a question about a patient’s symptoms, Dr. D was available to give his opinion and further Kyle knowledge and confidence about orthopaedic issues.  I was drawn towards this team approach and this experience further solidified my decision to continue my education and become a physician assistant. The flexibility to change specialties and choose the area I would like to work in is also something that attracts me to the field.

            Becoming an athletic trainer has helped me to develop problem-solving skills so that when I walk onto the field to help an injured player, I can assess the information given verbally from the player and through the various tests I perform, make an assessment on the injury and evaluate their ability to continue playing. My grueling undergraduate experience has given me confidence not only in myself, but also in my patient assessment skills and my judgment. Being detail-oriented enables me to keep accurate records and also plan the course of treatment I develop for my players. I have developed strong interpersonal skills along the way from dealing with players of various sports, their parents, co-workers and other healthcare providers who work with the teams.  By not knowing what will happen on the field, you become adaptable and quick thinking.  All of the traits will serve me well as a physician assistant.

            

[Raynet]

I can help. Shoot me a message at rsnettles7414 at gmail dot com.

[jlumsden]

You've definitely attested to your experiences in a challenging program, which is to your credit.

 

I've said this before, but the word limit means every wasted word is one you could have used to tell the program how awesome you are.

 

You should reduce the sentences needed to communicate those first two paragraphs.  You've spent 40 percent of your essay telling us the athletic training program was hard.

 

Next, go through the rest of the document and cut every unneeded word.  Then make the remaining words more specific and interesting.  For example, "They seemed to read each other’s minds as they worked as a team to complete each surgery. This feeling took me back to my days of playing sports and how much I loved being a part of a team." could read as "Their seamless collaboration as they repaired rotator cuffs and knee ligaments recalled the teamwork I relished playing softball."  Fewer words, more meaning.

 

Good luck!