Jump to content

First time applicant, first draft. Critique Needed!


Recommended Posts

I have read in a few places that you should not say, I've been waiting to do this since I was 5. Although you tried to steer away from that, the wanting to be a PA since high school is a bit close to that taboo. It may be true that, that is when your interest sparked but that is what hundreds of other essays will say. 

 

I LOVE the part in your conclusion about you still fulfilling your teaching desires because PAs teach their patients. To me it was unique and so true. 

 

You should get more opinions before you listen to me though. I am just a PA school second time applicant. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

A little wordy in the first paragraph, I would try and trim it to be more succinct.  Otherwise, great job tying in a past passion into a newly desired career path.   Also, don't say cliché things like "...when middle school hit..."  Say something like, "Upon reaching middle school, I experienced a major change in my desired career path..."  Good luck! 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...

Hey! It's a really good personal statement even though there are a few flaws that were brought to attention in previous answers. I personally really like the way you talk about patients. But I've got an advice for you. Don't put your personal statement on internet like this. It can be easily detected to be plagiarized by an admission committee. Ask on forum if someone is willing to give you a feedback and than send a message to a person with attached document. Or use personal statement revision service because usually they guarantee confidentiality

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Welcome to the Physician Assistant Forum! This website uses cookies to ensure you get the best experience on our website. Learn More