Final Draft- Critique/advice much appreciated!

[sportslkk]

“Stacie, harvest the graft,” remarked Dr. Smith to the assisting physician assistant. “Don’t make it too thick. The edges need to be as smooth as possible.” Stacie carefully and confidently harvested the ACL graft. She worked with great precision as she molded it with a small pair of scissors. As she cut, Stacie consulted with Dr. Smith to make sure the size and shape of the graft were correct.

What I observed in the OR fascinated me.  Stacie, an integral part of the surgical team, possessed much more responsibility for the patient than I would ever be given as an athletic trainer. While she collaborated with Dr. Smith, she clearly also operated in an independent fashion reflective of supreme self-confidence. Although only a year away from earning my degree as an AT, I began to feel a small but gnawing sense of dissatisfaction with the limits of my career choice. Watching Stacie in action that day helped me identify that feeling. I wanted a healthcare career with that type of responsibility and challenge.  

Another event affirming my decision to become a PA resulted from my interaction with Charlie, an 8-year-old summer hockey camp participant. This emergency situation fully tested my ability to put my skills into practice.

The entire hockey camp staff stood on the ice looking over my shoulder as I held little Charlie’s neck in cervical spinal immobilization. Tears streamed from his teammates’ eyes and distraught coaches pressured me to act. “Laney, what do you want to do? Should we call 911? Is he going to be OK?” Amidst the chaos, I knew that paralysis could result if I reacted incorrectly. As an athletic trainer, the nature of injury in sports helped mold me into a quick thinker.  Although I learned how to deal with spinal injuries in school, this represented my first evaluation and treatment of a spinal injury in practice.

 With adrenaline pumping, I managed to respond calmly, “Yes, call a squad and tell them we have a cervical spine injury.” Charlie’s body trembled with fear; I needed to keep him stationary, “Charlie, you’re going to be fine, just lay still.” Wanting to comfort him and to assuage his fear, I told him a funny story about my dog. Although not positive that Charlie suffered from a cervical spine injury, I felt very confident in my evaluation that he needed further care. As I told him about puppy Digby’s fear of the plastic spoon, the distraction calmed him until EMS could get there. I then took the lead in the boarding process, coordinating the medical team to prevent further injury. We boarded Charlie successfully, and EMS took him to the hospital for a detailed examination.

     Although extremely nervous during this entire experience, I learned to trust myself and my training. I overcame my nerves and used my knowledge, confident I would provide the best quality care for Charlie. I relied on my training to assess the situation and to make a quick decision, remained calm under pressure, worked effectively with other healthcare members, took the lead to prevent further injury and provided comfort to a scared little boy.

The many experiences throughout my various healthcare jobs led to my decision to pursue a career as a PA. The events surrounding Stacie and Charlie stood out among my experiences. The increased responsibility over that of an AT as well as the skills and teamwork Stacie displayed in the operating room, revealed the aspects of the PA profession that appeal to me. Overcoming the doubts I had in myself and playing an autonomous role in a coordinated care effort with Charlie, confirmed that I possess the qualities necessary to become a physician assistant. Becoming a PA will fulfill my desire to connect on a personal level, capitalizing on team-based efforts to provide truly patient-focused health care.

[whalia]

Pros:

You demonstrated that you know how a PA operates in relation to Dr.s. 

You limited your stories to 2

You demonstrated how your previous work experience and education will prepare you for dealing with patients, and a PA career

 

Cons: 

The only con I can think of is perhaps you are tooting your own horn a bit much. Tricky because for School and Job applications you kind of have to. Hopefully you can get a second opinion on this.