Personal Statement-need advice

[lybv91]

I have two versions of my PS and are not sure if either is good or if one is better. Please give any advice that you think could help. Thank you.

 

Version 1:

 

I want to give back to my community. This was the thought I had in my mind when I decided to volunteer for my first health fair located in my community in Garden Grove, California.  After hours of translating and escorting patients through each station, I was stopped by a woman, Patient X, that I assisted a couple of hours ago.  After emphasizing her previous struggle of how hard it was to find healthcare professionals who were able to understand her both linguistically and culturally, Patient X thanked everyone who helped her at the health fair. Her story made me realize that the importance of medicine does not solely lie in prescription drugs or complicated procedures, but in thorough understanding and trust in hopes to achieve a healthier lifestyle.

 

The health fair made me see the unfortunate health discrepancies relative to the standards to American society. I saw that there were many people in my community that could not see a physician regularly because they did not have the financial means to do so or were simply intimidated to see someone regarding their health.  As I continued to volunteer for my community, I began to notice that individuals from all over Orange County came to our events to receive free screenings such as diabetes and cholesterol, while we educated them about the potential dangers in their daily activities. As we continue to serve people at our events, it became quite evident to me that this culturally isolated population suffered from a lack understanding about general healthcare. There is a belief that seeing a physician is just a simple business transaction, where when you are sick, you go to get a bottle of pills that will make your pain go away. There is also a lack of understanding about the process of diseases, which contribute to the people not following up with doctor and neglecting to treat their condition just because the symptoms have disappeared. In additionally, in most Asian cultures, it is often disrespectful to question the doctor.  Many elderly patients will agree and pretend that they understand about their medications so that they do not disrespect their doctor. From my experiences, I want to be able to show people that medicine is for the people and their well being; that health care professionals exist to help you obtain a more enjoyable, comfortable way of life. Learning about the difficulties that the community faced solidified my pursuit towards the medical field, I feel that becoming a physician’s assistant will give me the abilities to help alleviate the health problems that currently exist in underserved communities.

 

Although the success that the health fairs had on my community, I knew that it was only a bandage to the problem.  Confused at how it was possible for so many individuals like Patient X to exist in a country known for having the best medical care in the world, I began to immerse myself into the medical field hoping to find an answer to my question.  In order to find my answer, I began to partake in clinical research involving psychiatric patients under involuntary hold, or, 51/50 patients.  As a part of the case management team, I was responsible for assessing the patient’s overall well being with the medication that they were prescribed.  I quickly learned the important of earning a patient trust. Many of the patients are chagrined of their conditions and will lie about their wellbeing. It is important to communicate to patients in a clear and understanding manners that are socially and culturally sensitive in order to provide competent care. Furthermore, as it was with a sliding scale community clinic, a single physician could be asked to treat over 30 patients a day because the facility was so understaffed. The number of patients does not leave the doctor with enough time to provide a thorough care. The busy clinic also causes many of the patients to look for the quick, short-term solutions to address their current ailments that are via medication rather than looking comprehensive care. As a result, I learned that it is up to the nurses and the case manager to ease the load of the physicians by asking personable questions with the patient in order to receive a more comprehensive understand about the patients needs.  Instead of having to hurry through each individual in order to see as many patients as possible, I learned that it is important to spend time to know each individual, listing their problems in a way the physician can understand and proceed with providing the best treatment possible.  Through our cooperative efforts, the clinic was able to notice and address many chronic health issues that would have otherwise been neglected. Through my experience, I realize how teamwork can strengthen and ensure that the patients are receiving a well-rounded care. This solidifies my desire to become a PA. Although PAs work autonomously, they can seek assistance of the physicians when needed. Having a team to work with will help me with providing the necessary care for the community.

 

From my personal, clinical, and research experiences, I have realized that the medical field will never have a single solution as if it were just a math problem.  Each and every individual is a complex human being that cannot be narrowed down to just an illness.  With so many different lifestyles, cultures, and even personalities, it is a healthcare professional’s duty is to not only be aware of the medical problems that could be present in their patients, but to also have an understanding and trust with the people that they serve.  I feel that by becoming a physician’s assistant, I will obtain the necessary skills and knowledge to help connect the members of my community with the medical field.  I want them to understand that as healthcare professionals, we are there to give every individual the opportunity to make informed decisions about their health. As a PA, I can have a close relationship with my patients and directly educate them and inform them about proper healthcare because I am culturally aware about the stigma and culture norm. There is a feeling of compassion that I share with the people of my community because I am from similar background. Being first generation Vietnamese immigrant, I have seen how the unorthodox etiology of disease has affected my people understand about health. In additionally, being a PA will allow me the flexibility to develop my expertise in multiple specialties of interest. Although PAs work autonomously, they can seek assistance of the physicians when needed. Having a team to work with will help me with providing the necessary care for the community. I realized that my ambition, choosing to pursue medicine, from the influences of my upbringing, culture, and experiences.  Through them, I have come to realize why I truly want to be a physician assistant: To take care of the people in the community that has taken care of me.

 

Version 2:

 

When I graduated from UCI in 2013, I volunteered at a clinic in Garden Grove, California to explore the health field.  I always knew I wanted to go into the field, but I wanted to know where I could specifically contribute the most to help my community.  During my first health fair, a woman I had helped previously stopped me to express her thanks.  She emphasized on her struggles in finding healthcare professionals who were able to understand her both linguistically and culturally.  Her gratitude made me realize that the importance of medicine does not solely lie in prescription drugs or complicated procedures, but in thorough understanding and trust in hopes to achieve a healthier lifestyle.  It opened my eyes to a place in medicine I didn’t realize exist but wanted to be a part of. 

 

The health fair opened my eyes to the unfortunate health discrepancies relative to the standards to American society. As I continued to volunteer, I noticed that individuals from all over Orange County came to our events to receive free screenings, even if it was at a locational disadvantage, because it was a place where they felt comfortable to get the help they needed.  Also I saw that many patients neglected proper care for their health problem; due to lack of understanding about its importance or they were intimidated by the problem. Some were unable to see a physician regularly due to a financial disadvantage. It soon became quite evident that there was a cultural barrier that generated a lack of understanding regarding proper healthcare. Furthermore, there is a belief that seeing a physician is just a simple business transaction: if you are sick, you can get a medication that will make it go away. The lack of understanding about the process of diseases further contributed to people not following up with doctors and neglecting to treat their condition just because the symptoms have disappeared. Learning about the difficulties that the community faced solidified my pursuit towards the medical field, I feel that becoming a physician’s assistant will give me the abilities to help alleviate the health problems that currently exist in underserved communities.

 

As I started working at the clinic, I quickly saw that, due to today's busy lifestyle, many of the patients come to the clinic looking for the quick, short-term solutions to address their current ailments that are via medication rather than looking comprehensive care. Additionally, many Asian patients will agree and pretend that they understand their treatment plan and medications even if they are confused because they do not want to disrespect their doctors.  I quickly learned that it is imperative to spend time to know each individual, to best understand their situation and communicate it appropriately to the other clinicians in order to provide the best care possible. Additionally, the clinic is a non-profited and sliding scale clinic, the health care providers could be asked to treat over 30 patients a day because the facility was so understaffed.  The high volume of patients made it crucial for the staff of nurses, case managers, physician assistant, and physicians to work together in order to best treat the patient.  I was also given the opportunity to work directly with a physician assistant and saw how vital they were in treating patients as well as communicating between clinical staffs and physicians.  I saw the importance of teamwork and how it can strengthen and ensure that the patients are receiving a well-rounded care. My experiences at the clinic solidify my desire to become a PA.

     

I have realized that the medical field will never have a single solution as if it were just a math problem.  Each and every individual is a complex human being that cannot be narrowed down to just an illness.  With so many different lifestyles, cultures, and even personalities, it is a healthcare professional’s duty to not only be aware of the medical problems that could be present in their patients, but to also have an understanding and trust with the people that they serve.  I feel that by becoming a physician assistant, I will obtain the necessary skills and knowledge to help connect the members of my community with the medical field.  I want them to understand that as healthcare professionals, we are there to give every individual the opportunity to make informed decisions about their health. Being a first generation Vietnamese immigrant, I have seen how the unorthodox etiology of disease has affected my communities’ understanding about health and medicine.  Additionally, being a PA will allow me the flexibility to develop my expertise in multiple specialties of interest. I realized that my ambition, choosing to pursue medicine, from the influences of my upbringing, culture, and experiences.  Through them, I have come to realize why I truly want to be a physician assistant: To take care of the people in the community that has taken care of me.