17th DRAFT, re-applicant, over character limit, gotta cut the fat! HELP!

[roosh17]

While winding down the pre-op area of outpatient surgery, a worried mother and father unexpectedly arrived with their young son from the emergency room. While eating cashews, the young boy, John, began choking and aspirated a piece of the nuts. He was unsuccessfully trying to cough it up and needed surgery to remove it. John was uncomfortable but not as nervous as his parents. As we prepared the young boy, the surgeon introduced his team including a physician assistant. As a patient care technician interested in a career as a PA, it excited me that PAs could play such a significant part of the surgical team. To everyone’s relief, the nut was retrieved safely from John’s lungs, preventing any further complications or infection.  This example of teamwork between PAs and doctors in the surgical setting further enhanced my resolve to become a PA.

 

Admittedly, this level of commitment was not present during my first semesters of college and my grades suffered. I needed to make a change. I refocused my efforts and with the help of my family, invaluable study partners, and excellent teachers, graduated with honors. My college career taught me a great deal in self-discipline and accountability.

 

Throughout my husband’s frequent deployments with the military, we both learned about adaptability and self-reliance. Much like a PA collaborates with their physician, my husband and I communicated with each other to help maintain the household and discipline of our daughters. Now, as a civilian family, we see ourselves as lifelong learners, each on our own path of building healthcare experiences. As a re-applicant, I have focused on building my skills on all fronts.

 

As a volunteer at a free neighborhood medical clinic, I have joined others to provide much needed medical care for the surrounding community. It has become such a personal joy to see my fellow volunteers, translators, and patients every week. Each clinic may run smoothly or be a night filled with challenges but no matter the circumstances, I always leave with a cheerful heart. One evening, a provider asked me to draw blood from a patient named Elena. Phlebotomy is an art that is learned with time and practice and two pairs of eyes are always better than one so I asked a nurse to help me find a vein to draw her blood. I remember Elena’s graciousness as we attempted and failed to get blood from her.  Four venipunctures later, we finally got the blood we needed.  Afterwards, Elena was not irritated about the situation or the time it took, but instead thankful for our services. Not only did we feel extremely humbled by her reaction but proud to serve a community of people that showed such faith in our ability to serve them.

 

As with any great healthcare provider, I desire to have strong relationships with my patients, building rapport with them over time so their health improves. Our job is to listen to our patients and work with them to achieve common health goals. Mary, a family practice PA I shadowed, taught me not only how to effectively listen to patients and their concerns, but how to better communicate so they feel comfortable with our proposed care plan. She knew some of her patients so well, we could review their history before their appointments without even looking at their health record. When Mary walked in the exam room, her patients would burst out in excitement about her pregnancy and ask her all about it. Mary’s empathetic nature and great ability to listen to her patients resulted in excellent care, whether it was for our pediatric patient with a fever and cough or our patient that needed to go to the emergency room for appendicitis. She also helped me better understand the juxtaposition of autonomy while collaborating with a supervising physician. Mary saw many patients on her own during the day, but if a patient presented with complicated symptoms, she could brainstorm with her doctor to come up with the best plan of action. The more time I spend shadowing, the more I feel that a career as a PA is best suited for me and my abilities to communicate, listen, show compassion, and attention to detail.

 

As a patient care technician in an emergency department I continuously use the opportunity to collaborate with my coworkers and strengthen my clinical decision making. When a critical patient comes in, it is paramount that the doctors, nurses, and techs all pull together for the most beneficial outcome. We put a strong focus on teamwork so there is no delay in our patient’s care. Paul, a patient complaining of dizziness and diaphoresis recently came in to triage. He had no complaints of chest pain but after completing the EKG, we saw what appeared to be a STEMI. After the doctor confirmed the ST elevation, we quickly brought the patient back to prepare him for the cath lab. A controlled chaos surrounded Paul as I helped to undress him and place him in a gown. A nurse entered the room to place IVs and the doctor also came in to explain to Paul that he was having another heart attack. A pharmacist stood by with vital medications to be administered. As the cath lab confirmed their readiness, another tech went to hold the elevator. When a patient such as Paul comes through our doors, time is of great importance. I greatly enjoy being a part of the healthcare team that makes such a difference in someone’s life.

 

After learning about the physician assistant profession in college, my desire to pursue this career has continued to grow. From my various healthcare experiences, I decided that my skills as a confident, compassionate, hard-working, problem-solving team player best suit me to the PA career. The lifestyle, job mobility, and satisfaction are also important aspects of this field that I believe match well with my family.

[kat24]

I would suggest cutting out a lot of the medical jargon that you use throughout the essay. Instead of going into a detailed description of Paul's EKG, maybe just say he had an abnormal EKG. You can also streamline your fifth and sixth paragraphs in order to cut down on characters. I would work on your conclusion as well to make it sound less generic and more unique to who you are.

[roosh17]

Thanks for the tips!