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Reapplicant Personal Statement - Please be as brutally honest at possible!!


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Hey guys, here is my personal statement. I was hoping for some feedback! Please be as brutally honest as possible!

 

I strongly believe that your passion should be your priority. I always thought that people realized their passions early on in life, and I would do the same. Little did I know, I had a long road ahead of me before that would happen.

I grew up watching my father spend countless late nights watching India play cricket. I never fully understood the game; all I knew was that in cricket, taking all ten wickets is a perfect game – a perfect ten. My father referred to few things that he considered "the best of the best" as a perfect ten. One of those things was becoming a doctor. This idea was instilled in me at such a young age that I never even thought twice about it. It was my father’s passion so it was my passion.

It was not until more than half way through earning my undergraduate degree that I found that my own perfect ten was slightly different from my father's. I was exposed to the physician assistant profession for the first time when my grandmother became ill. I was able to see how PAs work with patients and that, along with seeing how much my grandmother loved her PA, was enough to spark my interest. I researched the PA profession and I reached out to PA students to get a better idea of what bring a PA was all about. At that point, my mind was made up: I was now going to apply to PA school instead of to medical school. This was my perfect ten.

As I watched all of my friends applying to medical school, to law school, and to masters programs during our last year as undergraduates, and I followed suit. I sent in my first round of applications to CASPA. When I started getting rejection letters, I came to understand that I had yet to realize my true passion for the PA profession. I had to delve even further into this world and get everything I possibly could out of it.

So, when I graduated from college, I took matters into my own hands. I started to work as an ED scribe, I started shadowing PAs of various specialties, and I decided to re-take some classes at the local community college to try to improve my GPA. Over the last two years, I have come to appreciate the relationship between a physician and a physician assistant. I have accumulated over 3,000 clinical hours as an ED scribe, I have re-taken anatomy, and I have enrolled in a one-year Master of Arts in Biomedical Sciences program for the fall of 2016, which I believe will be a great asset to me in being able to handle the intense rigor of a graduate level program. I have realized my passion and I am making it my priority. 

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This is the best you could come up with as a re-applicant? (you asked for brutal honesty).

 

Nothing about this was unique. It's boring. 

 

With over 3K hours of HCE...where are the stories about your patients? Where is your story? 

I guess I should choose my words more carefully. There is a thing called CONSTRUCTIVE criticism, you know. 

 

Not saying I don't appreciate your feedback; I do. If it didn't do anything for you, it probably won't do anything for an admissions committee. Just for future reference though, a tiny bit of chill is all you really need.

 

Thanks for your help.

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Alright alright, I may have been everything but helpful.

 

Here is the prompt I used to layout my PS.

  1. Interesting anecdote about me
  2. how I got interested in the PA profession
  3. summary of clinical experience (and how it relates to me).
  4. goals as a PA
  5. conclusion - biggest theme that represents me
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I liked it, personally.  I did notice that it was kind of generic- if you took out "PA" and put in "investment banker" it would still work.  I would work in why PA vs a doctor, why you have this drive to serve others.  However, try to avoid long detailed dramatic soliloquys about interactions with specific details. 

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I liked it, personally.  I did notice that it was kind of generic- if you took out "PA" and put in "investment banker" it would still work.  I would work in why PA vs a doctor, why you have this drive to serve others.  However, try to avoid long detailed dramatic soliloquys about interactions with specific details. 

Now that it some criticism I can work with! Thank you, thinkertdm! 

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I liked it as well. I do think that your first paragraph could be eliminated or reworded into the other paragraphs. I personally like how you began telling a story of your childhood and integrating that into what made you decide to be PA. Go further into why PA rather than MD, what made you choose PA specifically while your grandmother was ill? What differed from the PAs and MDs specifically. Go into detail in your HCE as well and how that prepared you to go into the PA profession. Also, I noticed that your PS is only about 2050 characters while CASPA allows a limit of 5000, I would definitely go more in depth.

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I liked it as well. I do think that your first paragraph could be eliminated or reworded into the other paragraphs. I personally like how you began telling a story of your childhood and integrating that into what made you decide to be PA. Go further into why PA rather than MD, what made you choose PA specifically while your grandmother was ill? What differed from the PAs and MDs specifically. Go into detail in your HCE as well and how that prepared you to go into the PA profession. Also, I noticed that your PS is only about 2050 characters while CASPA allows a limit of 5000, I would definitely go more in depth.

I will admit that I wanted to get it done as quickly as possible. You guys are so great with your advice, though, and are making me want to write something better! Thank you so much for the feedback! :)

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