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This is my second draft so far, and though it has improved from my first, I still feel like I may have been too vague. Please let me know what you think, and I will gladly do the same for you!

 

 

           Life is a collection of experiences. While some are merely prosaic pieces of today, others carry such significance that they shape our aspirations for the future. These events often influence us to take action, make a decision, complete a goal, or pursue a career. Within the past few years I have collected a variety of experiences, many of which have had lasting impacts on my future goals. Among the most influential of these experiences are those that have strengthened my desire to become a physician assistant (PA). 
           One of my most valuable experiences occurred during my second month as a medical assistant in pediatric urgent care. I remember hearing the distinct sound of the chime on the front door, and looking up to find a panic-stricken woman holding her young son in her arms. The boy’s face was swollen beyond recognition, and he was grasping his throat. Recognizing these symptoms as an anaphylactic reaction, I quickly escorted the pair into an exam room and alerted my fellow staff members of the emergency. As my coworkers filed into the room, I assessed the patient's breathing, obtained his vital signs, and administered oxygen. I then assisted the team of doctors, PAs, and nurse practitioners as they worked to stabilize the boy’s condition. 
          This experience was enlightening in that it allowed me to observe the roles of various healthcare providers in a high-stress situation. Amidst the crowd of seasoned professionals, I was most impressed by the significant role of the PA as an intermediary between the doctor and the patient. I watched while she held the boy’s hand as the doctor administered epinephrine, and listened as she reassured his mother. Through these small and simple actions, the PA illustrated her cooperative, complementary relationship with the doctor, as well as her compassionate, supportive one with the patient. Each time the boy smiled at her, it became more clear that his experience was enhanced by her presence. After witnessing this improvement of patient care first hand, I immediately imagined myself fulfilling the same role. 
          Though my adolescent dream was to attend medical school, experiences like the one above have confirmed that the PA profession is more well-suited to my aspirations. As illustrated by this event, doctors are beginning to serve more of an administrative role in health care, while PAs have a greater opportunity to build positive relationships with patients. In my future career, I want to diagnose and treat patients with the freedom to spend a considerable amount of time interacting in a more personal way. I too want to improve the quality of patient’s experiences by making them smile, as the PA did for the boy and his mother. While I was initially attracted to its several advantages, such as flexibility in future specialties and the support of a supervising doctor, I now have a better understanding of the PA profession and its contribution to health care. With this understanding comes confidence that I am meant to be a PA. 
          In the subsequent year since my first exposure to a medical emergency, I have continued to work alongside physicians and PAs in a variety of situations. With each new encounter, I reassuringly become more confident in my decision to become a PA as I strengthen my own analytical and interpersonal skills. Shadowing PAs in primary care and dermatology has allowed me to observe the processes of patient assessment, diagnosis, and post-treatment communication. These observations sharpened my own ability to think critically and maintain professional conduct, and the PAs set a positive example of how to practice with knowledge and humility. More recently, working as a medical assistant has further broadened my skillset. Working in pediatric urgent care has exposed me to the challenges of treating children during medical emergencies. Personally comforting young patients through pain and fear has reinforced the gentle, nurturing aspects of my personality. It has given me an appreciation for patience, sympathy and compassion as important aspects of quality patient care, and I expect this to translate well in my future relationships with patients. Working in a team dynamic has strengthened my ability to communicate and take direction while also making independent decisions. These traits are essential to the PA profession, as they are all key elements in the working relationship between patients, doctors, and PAs. Seeing evidence of these traits in myself gives me the ultimate assurance that I can effectively practice alongside a physician to provide optimal patient care.
         Within the past few years, my involvement in healthcare has given me some of my most valuable experiences. Though some seem but minor observations, all have contributed to my admiration for the PA profession. Most importantly, my experiences have intensified my dream to pursue this career, and continuously drive me to move forward in making it a reality.
 
 
 
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First off, I like this. You convey well that you have had many diverse experiences with PAs in different fields, and have seen how they operate in different environments. I think that's crucial in understanding the true nature of the profession. Some things I would change/say differently: In paragraph 3 you talk about your experience with the boy in respiratory distress, and say that the PA held the hand of the patient and reassured him while the doctor gave him epinephrine. Then, in paragraph 4, you talk about how doctors are serving more of an administrative role in health care, where PAs are able to spend time to build positive relationships. Given the example you used in the previous paragraph, I think this statement is a little contradictory. The physician WASN'T in an administrative role, he/she was the one actually giving the care to the patient. I would maybe try an example where you witnessed a PA building a relationship with a patient, and leave out the part about the physician. I think the example you used highlights the team based nature of healthcare today, but the first couple sentences in paragraph 4 seems to contradict the point you were trying to make. Paragraph 5 is great too, you've definitely displayed that you have witnessed and understand what it means to be a good clinician, but why a PA? The examples you give are all things that every good provider must possess, whether they be a physician, NP, or PA. I would spend a little time really showing why PA is what is right for you. There are absolutely physicians out there who are able to make and maintain positive relationships with patients, so why choose PA over that?

 

Overall, though, I think it's a great start. I like your tone and it's very well written. It flows nicely, and you don't spend too much time on any one section. 

 

Anyways, hope this helps. Take it with a grain of salt, though, I'm not a PA-S either.. yet! ;)

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