shamrick9811 Posted August 25, 2015 Share Posted August 25, 2015 I'm lost as how I should build my essay. I will be a re applicant ...my improvement include 3.96 post bacc gpa and a RT degree.... Should I focus on my situation as a re applicant or my work experiences and interactions with PAs as a RT?? Very lost Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnson2018pac Posted August 26, 2015 Share Posted August 26, 2015 Why not both? You are reapplying after making significant improvements to your resume so how about tell what you've done since the last time you applied and what you're currently doing... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shamrick9811 Posted August 27, 2015 Author Share Posted August 27, 2015 Ok, heres a rough draft incorporating both Please critique When I’m presented with questions that focus on how I arrived at the decision to become a Physician Assistant, I recall the conversations I’ve had with long-time friends. Having grown up with this group, we have many commonalities and have many shared experiences. However, I find myself to be the only one who has chosen to pursue a career in medicine. In attempt to satisfy a level of curiosity that seemed to be shared amongst the group, they presented familiar questions such as “Why do you want to be a PA” and “what do you get out of it?” As I rack my brain it becomes obvious the challenges in trying compose a response suitable for my audience, whom lack experience in any facet related to medicine or patient care. Unfortunately, I was unable to provide one of those all too common dramatic stories, overly-saturated with descriptive narration, and a manufactured feeling of urgency. Nor can I share of any life-altering moment from my childhood in which I can boast “this is why I want to be a PA”… No, I have not faced any such moments. My decision to practice medicine as a PA has evolved from thoughtful consideration of my personal desires, influential patient experiences, and career aspirations. My first encounter with a Physician Assistant (PA) occurred while working as a Medical Technician at an assisted-living retirement home. Being able to watch and work with the PAs allowed me to appreciate the level of trust and communication that is required among the physician, PA, and healthcare staff. Over time I was able to talk to the PAs on a more personal level. Each time, I tried to make it a point to talk about their profession. Eventually I had a solid grasp on the PA education and what the profession has to offer. Looking to further explore what it means to be in this type of role, I obtained shadowing experience in order to see what really encompasses the role of a PA in a typical day. From my first-hand experience shadowing a PA in the clinical setting, I can see the depth of medical knowledge and technical skills required to practice as a competent and efficient provider. I’ve also been able to be present during as surgical procedure. Here, I was able to watch as the surgical PA performed in the first-assist role throughout the surgery. A delicate dance of non-verbal cues and anticipating the surgeons every move allowed for a smooth and efficient procedure. The time I spent shadowing a PA has allowed me to better understand the complexities of an efficient and effective healthcare team. This is made possibly in the fact that both the PA and Physician education are both based on the Medical Model. This provides the PA to use the same type of problem solving and critical thinking skills as physicians do. As I worked towards completing my degree, I gained employment as a Medical Assistant (MA) in a clinical setting. I found this role to be greatly rewarding after the impact I made and how grateful these patients seemed. The relationships developed and have the ability to be a positive influence in the lives of my patients bring has brought me great joy. Being able to see that a patient is progressing as a result the level of care and effort I’ve given always leaves me with great satisfaction. Feeling extremely confident by having extensive health care experience and thorough knowledge of the PA profession, I was extremely excited to complete my application and be offered a seat into Western Michigan University’s Physician Assistant program. After a long wait, I was informed this year was not to be. I was incredibly disappointed, devastated. However, my dedication and perseverance did not waiver. My first step was to receive feedback on my application and suggestion steps to improve my candidacy. My first actions were to strengthen any weak areas reflected on my academic transcripts. After earning better grades in select courses, I continued on to complete several courses recommended by the PA program. These included Pharmacology, Nutrition, Neurosciences, and the Human Anatomy Cadaver Lab. As a re-applicant, I aimed to remove any hesitation or doubt from the admissions committee when considering my potential to become a successful PA student. Wanting to further strengthen my clinician skills and knowledge of medicine, I made the decision to complete a post-baccalaureate program in Respiratory Therapy. Enrolling in Kalamazoo Valley Community College’s Respiratory Care Program has proven to be the most beneficial towards a career as a PA. Throughout this two-year program, I have improved upon my clinical skills and medical knowledge required to provide care at a professional level. Additionally, this rigorous program has allowed me to reflect being very successful didactically as I have since graduated with honors and a 3.96 program GPA. . In my current role as a Respiratory Therapist (RT) I’ve been able to work with PAs within a healthcare team. Similar to previous roles, I find great joy in providing care for my patients but continue find myself unsatisfied by the limits of this position. The level of care I can provide is restricted by my abilities and the scope of practice of the RT profession. Throughout my healthcare career I’ve been able to understand the Physician Assistant profession and the role of the PA. On a daily basis I’m reminded why I want to become a PA. The high technical skill level along with training in the medical model allows PAs the ability to treat and manage their patients appropriately. I’ve taken great lengths as a re-applicant to reflect my desire and commitment as seen by my continual improvements, both didactically and clinically. As a PA I will have necessary training allowing me to provide a higher level of care and utilize my critical thinking skills required to provide comprehensive care as a competent Physician Assistant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kennedypa Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 Overall I think your statement showed that you have fairly good knowledge of the profession. Your opening paragraph however, lacked its attention grabbing potential. In your 5th paragraph where you speak on submitting your application, "excited to apply and be offered..." I was slightly under the impression that the university had extended an offer to you. You may want to think of rewording that, if that is not the case. I think you explained what you did to regroup after you found out that you were not selected. Some tweaking and you have a pretty solid statement. I'm a fellow RT and recieved my second bachelor's in RC with a high GPA aswell, so I can definitely agree with you that the material can be rigorous and lay a great foundation for PA. Best of luck, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iseewholewheat Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 I find your PS a little awkward. The first two paragraphs don't really give me any information about you, other than you felt you had to dumb down answers to your non-medical friends... The third paragraph gains some steam on explaining what a PA is and how they interact with physicians, but then you lose me again when are are talking about your satisfaction in becoming an MA. As previously mentioned, the whole "being offered a seat" at WMU was very confusing. You can totally cut out the next paragraph, because you have explained what you actually did to improve in the following paragraph. I am just left a little underwhelmed as a whole, you seem to have made some great improvements (congrats!) and have worked really hard for that. Add a little passion, use more direct language, don't just walk me through your resume. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shamrick9811 Posted August 30, 2015 Author Share Posted August 30, 2015 Here is a revision: please critique As I try to answer the proverbial “Why do you want to be a Physician Assistant?” I find myself recalling on many very influential life experiences in order to truly convey my desire to pursue a career as a Physician Assistant (PA). Unfortunately, my response to this question comes without any dramatic “attention grabbing” situations. I’m without those familiar stories, overly-saturated with descriptive narration and a manufactured feeling of urgency. Nor do I have any life-changing experience as a child allowing me to proclaim “this is why I want to be a PA”… I could regale my audience in claiming that I’ve wanted to be a PA since I was eight years old. But I have not faced any such moments. My decision to practice medicine as a PA has evolved from thoughtful consideration of my personal desires, influential patient experiences, and career aspirations. While working towards completing my Bachelor’s degree, I entered into healthcare as a Medical Assistant. I found this job to be surprisingly rewarding. I saw how the care I provided impacted patients and how grateful they were. The relationships I developed and having the ability to be a positive factor in their lives brought me great joy. Being able to participate in a patient’s recovery that is in part due to care and effort I’ve given always leaves me with great satisfaction. For the first time I was starting to develop an idea of what my future career goals would be. My first encounter with a PA occurred while working as a Medical Technician at an assisted-living retirement home. Working with the PAs allowed me to appreciate the level of trust and communication that is given between the physician, PA, and healthcare staff. Over time I was able to talk to the PAs on a more personal level. I made it a point to ask them about their job. I learned about the PA education and what the profession has to offer. In order to get the complete picture of what it means to be a PA, I spent time shadowing Mike Bush, PA-C. After observing him in the clinical setting, I can appreciate the depth of medical knowledge and technical skills required to practice as a competent and thorough provider. I also had the opportunity to observe two umbilical and one inguinal hernia repair surgeries. In these surgeries I was able to watch a PA in the First-Assist role. A delicate dance of non-verbal cues and anticipating the surgeons every move allowed for a smooth and efficient procedure. The time I spent shadowing Mike has allowed me to better understand the complexities of an effective healthcare team. Feeling extremely confident about my desire to become a PA, backed by my healthcare experience and thorough knowledge of the PA profession, I was very excited about applying to Western Michigan University’s Physician Assistant program. When I was informed that I would not be admitted into the 2015 entering class, I was incredibly disappointed, devastated. However, my dedication and perseverance did not waiver. I contacted the program and received feedback on my application allowing me to take the necessary steps to improve my candidacy. I realized that I needed to strengthen any weak areas on my academic transcripts. When I first attended college, I was young, immature and lacked focus. Therefore I failed to achieve the academic excellence that I now know I am capable of. After I improved my grades in select courses I continued on to complete courses recommended by WMU’s PA program. These included Pharmacology, Nutrition, Neurosciences, and Human Cadaver Lab. As a re-applicant, I aimed to remove any hesitation or doubt from the admissions committee when they evaluate my potential as a PA student. Wanting to further strengthen my clinical skills and knowledge of medicine, I made the decision to complete a degree in Respiratory Therapy. Enrolling in a Respiratory Care Program has proven to be most beneficial towards my goal of a career as a PA. Throughout this two-year program, I have improved upon my clinical skills and medical knowledge required to provide care at a professional level. From this rigorous program, this allowed me to demonstrate my ability to excel didactically having graduated with a 3.96 program GPA. In my current role as a Respiratory Therapist (RT) I work with PAs and other staff members within a healthcare team. I continue to find great joy providing care as an essential team member, but find myself unsatisfied with the level of care that I can provide due to the skill and knowledge limitation as a RT. Each day that I go to work at Bronson hospital I’m reminded why I want to become a PA. I look forward to this medical-model based education and having physician collaboration as an integral member of a healthcare team. I’m excited for the opportunities to utilize critical thinking and problem solving skills in challenging cases I’ve taken great lengths as a re-applicant to reflect my desire and commitment as seen by my continual improvements, both didactically and clinically. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrator rev ronin Posted August 30, 2015 Administrator Share Posted August 30, 2015 Three things to try: * Eliminate 50% of your "I", "me", "my" or variants thereof. We know it's your personal statement.* Eliminate 33% of your non-active voice. You're doing better than many on avoiding passive voice, but your verb forms just don't convey action and decisiveness. * Eliminate 25% of the length. Good news on this one is that if you tackle the above two, you should be done, or nearly so, with this third task.Remember, 5000 characters is a hard limit--do not use a single character more than you need to, and NEVER let your stories expand to fill all available space. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paproof Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 The overall theme of your essay shouldn't be "please accept me," it should be, "you should accept me because _______." Keep that in mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shamrick9811 Posted August 31, 2015 Author Share Posted August 31, 2015 I'm having difficulty in presenting why/how/my improvements while keeping a good flow and message easy for adcoms to see @ rev ronin, I've yet to address. The overall theme of your essay shouldn't be "please accept me," it should be, "you should accept me because _______." Keep that in mind. Which specific portions make you feel this? Any suggestions on what to change? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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