yesIMbob Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 Here is my PS. Thanks for reading. It was about a week before Christmas we all sat gathered around a table stuffing coupons and brochures into envelopes to pass out to guests who had attended the park that day. I was volunteering with my fellow pre-health organization members at a holiday charity event and joining us was a handful of kids from a local high school. These were kids interested in pursuing careers in the medical field and they asked us for advice when it came to college and their education. The members from my group unanimously agreed upon strategies for taking entrance exams, filling out applications, and participating in extracurricular activities that would help bolster their resumes. I sat quietly throughout most of the conversation until one of the kids asked me for my opinion. The response I would then give was not one that was expected nor was it well received among my fellow organization members. My advice was simple: stop putting so much pressure on yourselves and go enjoy life. Take some time off after high school and explore what is out there. Work a few jobs, go on road trips, do something you thought you never would have. There are many wonderful things in this world. Take the time to discover them and discover yourselves. You just might find out where your true passions lie. By no means was it my intention to discourage these kids hoping to someday become nurses, surgeons, or medical doctors. The truth is, the question of what do you want to do with the rest of your life is a difficult question to answer. For me at least, it took years after high school to determine I wanted to pursue a career in the medical field. I had worked a wide variety of jobs from selling cars to testing video games. I even joined the military to see if that was the right fit for me. It was not until early in my college years when I became an emergency medical technician that I discovered my passion lied in the medical field. At no other profession have I ever felt the same sense of satisfaction and accomplishment as I do than in healthcare. Challenges are always present as well as the opportunities to learn and grow from them. The combination of patient experiences and the collaborative efforts of the medical team cultivate an environment that is constantly demanding yet rewarding. These are the reasons why I love working in the medical field and the reasons why I want to dedicate my life to practicing medicine by becoming a physician assistant. Why do I want to be a physician assistant? Currently, as an emergency room technician, I have the opportunity to work alongside various physician assistants throughout the hospital setting. As medical providers, physician assistants are able to practice medicine at nearly the same capacity as doctors. However, they are able to do this without the bureaucratic hassles that most physicians must endure throughout their careers. For me, becoming a medical provider is not about making a large paycheck or about managing the intricacies of a successful business. At the end of the day, what makes me happy is applying my knowledge of medicine to treat patients who are in need of help. The human condition is one that is both complex and fascinating. I love people and I love science. Becoming a physician assistant will unite my interests and allow me to make a living doing something that I am truly passionate about. Looking back, my journey to becoming a physician assistant has truly been a humbling experience. With a wife and three kids, trying to support my family while managing my academic career has been a constant challenge. At a young age my daughter was diagnosed with autism and in best efforts to take care of her, my wife decided she should stay home while I obtained a second job. I found myself over the next several years working forty to sixty hours a week, taking care of my family, and still attending college full time. What I have learned from this experience is that, while trying to tend to all of these things at once, too much attention in one area leads to a deficit in the others. There have been times that I did not always make the perfect grade and times that I was not always the perfect husband and father. Even though I have been caught stumbling along the way, I have always made the effort to recover and continue on. Never have I lost sight of my goals of becoming a physician assistant and never have I neglected the responsibilities towards my family. It is school that will teach how to memorize and regurgitate medical facts, but it is life that will teach how to be a great medical provider. I am confident that my past experiences have prepared me well for the rigors of physician assistant school as well as for the profession itself. If there is to be a silver lining to my journey, then it will be that my years of hard work and dedication will have paid off and that I, someday, will hold the title of physician assistant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coffee Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 Hello, I edited it by making some sentences more concise and flow more smoothly, and added my thoughts as I was reading it. Generally, I like the flow of topics inyour essay, but I think you could expand more on your experience in the healthcare field and how that led you to decide on PA; you really only spent one paragraph on that. I am also in the process of applying to PA school, so take what I say with a grain of salt. :) I hope I helped! (Note: I copy and pasted directly from a Word doc after using "Track Changes" and the Commenting feature. Sorry if it's confusing. Lemme know if you want the actual document and I can email to you.) About a week before Christmas, we were all gathered around a table stuffing coupons and brochures into envelopes to pass out to guests. I was volunteering with my fellow pre-health organization members at a holiday charity event . Joining us was a handful of kids from a local high schoolinterested in pursuing careers in the medical field. When they asked us for advice regarding college and their education, members of my group unanimously agreed upon strategies for taking entrance exams, filling out applications, and participating in extracurricular activities that would help bolster their resumes. I sat quietly throughout most of the conversation until one of the kids asked me for my opinion. The response I gave was not an expected one nor was it well received among my fellow organization members. My advice was simple: stop putting so much pressure on yourselves and go enjoy life. Take some time off after high school and explore what is out there. Work a few jobs, go on road trips, do something you thought you never would have. There are many wonderful things in this world. Take the time to discover them and discover yourselves. You just might find out where your true passions lie. By no means was it my intention to discourage these kids who hoped to someday become nurses, surgeons, or medical doctors. The truth is, the question of what do you want to do with the rest of your life is a difficult question to answer. Personally, I did not decide to pursue a career in the medical field until years after high school. [i1] Before then, I worked a wide variety of jobs from selling cars to testing video games. I even joined the military to see if that was the right fit for me. It was not until early in my college years when I became an emergency medical technician that I discovered my passion lied in the medical field. In no other profession have I ever felt the same sense of satisfaction and accomplishment as I do in healthcare. Opportunities to learn and grow from challenges are always present. The combination of patient experiences and the collaborative efforts of the medical team cultivate an environment that is constantly demanding yet rewarding. These are the reasons why I love working in the medical field and the reasons why I want to dedicate my life to practicing medicine by becoming a physician assistant.[i2] As an emergency room technician, I have the opportunity to work alongside various physician assistants throughout the hospital setting. As medical providers, physician assistants are able to practice medicine at nearly the same capacity as doctors. However, they are able to do this without the bureaucratic hassles that most physicians must endure throughout their careers. [i3] For me, becoming a medical provider is not about making a large paycheck or about managing the intricacies of a successful business. At the end of the day, what makes me happy is applying my knowledge of medicine to treat patients who are in need of help. The human condition is one that is both complex and fascinating. I love people and I love science. Becoming a physician assistant will unite my interests and allow me to make a living doing something that I am truly passionate about[i4] . Looking back, my journey to becoming a physician assistant [i5] has truly been a humbling experience. With a wife and three kids, trying to support my family while managing my academic career has been a constant challenge. At a young age my daughter was diagnosed with autism and in our best efforts to take care of her, my wife decided to stay home while I obtained a second job. Over the next several years, I worked forty to sixty hours a week, took care of my family, and still attended college full time. [i6] While trying to tend to all of these things at once, I have learned that too much attention in one area leads to a deficit in the others. There have been times that I did not always make the perfect grade and times that I was not always the perfect husband or father[i7] . Even though I have been caught stumbling along the way, I have always made the effort to recover and continue on. Never have I lost sight of my goals of becoming a physician assistant and never have I neglected the responsibilities towards my family.[i8] School will teach one how to memorize and regurgitate medical facts, but life that will teach one how to be a great medical provider. I am confident that my past experiences have prepared me for the rigors of physician assistant school as well as for the profession itself. If there is to be a silver lining to my journey, then it will be that my years of hard work and dedication will have paid off and that I, someday, will hold the title of physician assistant. -------------------------------------------------------------- [i1]I like the topic that you chose to start off your essay, but I think you should make it more clear what you were trying to get across to the kids. For me, there seemed to be a jump between what you were telling the kids to what you believe about deciding on a career. [i2]I think this sentence is very general and may be helped with adding specific examples [i3]Again, general statement. What type of bureaucratic hassles have you seen / are you referring to? [i4]There seems to be a sudden jump between topics in this paragraph – first you’re talking about why you prefer PA over MD, then you talk about why you like how PA combines people and sciences. I think you should somehow make a better transition [i5]You’re not a PA yet, so I think it’s more appropriate to say “my journey to prepare for my future career" or something like that [i6]This is very impressive [i7]I appreciate the introspection here [i8]Nice ending to this paragraph Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yesIMbob Posted June 30, 2015 Author Share Posted June 30, 2015 Thank you coffee for taking the time to review my essay. I sincerely appreciate it. The effort you have put in to helping me demonstrates your commitment to helping others which I find an admirable trait. I will take your criticisms into consideration and hope you all the best in becoming a PA yourself. Thank you and good luck in this nerve racking process. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coffee Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 Aw, you are most welcome. I'm glad I could help. Thank you and good luck to you, too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UCPA2018 Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 You also might consider mentioning how your family will adjust to you not working and attending pa school...you don't want the schools to think that your academics will suffer due to still being the main provider for your family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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