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Second time's the charm


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Ladies and Gentlemen:

 

    Several months ago, I put up my first draft narrative, and several people on here were kind enough to give me their input.  I'm hoping to get more of the same.  Thank you.

 

            While I knew that Physician Assistants (PAs) existed, I had never met or worked with one until after I had been in the Navy for several years.  My Associate’s degree was earned with a lack-luster GPA way back when Braveheart won the Oscar for Best Picture.  After this, I joined the military.  It was during my eight years of service as a Navy Hospital Corpsman that I learned Corpsmen were the antecedents of Physician Assistants; the first class of Physician Assistants were made of my veteran predecessors from the Navy Hospital Corps.

 

            After being in a healthcare role as a Corpsman for several years, where I was responsible for the care of so many, I considered applying to be a PA in the early 2000s.  However, lacking prerequisite courses, I felt a profound lack of self-esteem from the low grades I earned during my previous college coursework.  Additionally I realized that my GI Bill financial aid would not be enough to cover all the costs, so I chose not to go for it.  Instead, I became a Certified Nurse Assistant (CNA) after my honorable discharge.  Then, as a CNA, I took a job working as a “tech” at an adult Emergency Department.

 

            Working in my role as a CNA was important in my journey to wanting to be a PA. Working at a Level I trauma center and teaching hospital opened my eyes in ways I hadn’t thought of.  My previous patient population consisted of roughly 18-40 year old healthy persons with no extensive medical histories.  This paled when compared to my new population containing: asthma, diabetes, multiple cardiac issues, polypharmacy, and drug abuse.  I soon learned that I didn’t know how much I didn’t know.  At the same time, I found myself drawn to care for those who might not otherwise have ready access to help.

 

            However, I soon grew disenfranchised as a CNA. The scope of practice was so much narrower than I was used to that I became frustrated and considered going back in the military.  Instead, I looked again at going to school, but the same concerns as before reared themselves.  Having worked closely with nursing staff, I saw what they did and, while I have the utmost respect for nursing’s role in healthcare, I felt it wasn’t for me. And, as a corollary, neither was the Nurse Practitioner field. So, after three years as a CNA and feeling no way to move “up”, I left healthcare to become a Deputy Sheriff.

 

            As a Deputy Sheriff I was, for the first time in over a decade, removed from healthcare.  The ability to work independently in stressful environments while also being a part of a team, conducting investigations to try and muddle through obscured clues, interviewing often unwilling people to try and glean that nugget of truth: these were the aspects of law enforcement I liked.  I earnestly feel that I did good for an underserved rural community, by helping to serve it.  I’ve learned through trial and error that I prefer a job where I help others. But, that’s a broad category and sometimes the best way to know what you want is to give it up.  I want to be in healthcare, and I want to be a healthcare provider.

 

            With a revised GI Bill that provides better funding, along with pushes at a national level for veterans to become PAs, I found it was financially possible to return to school.  I have learned from my past, and have learned that entry into a career includes hard work to receive the education to get there.  I have returned to school and my grades have significantly improved over my performance from almost 20 years ago.  My self-doubt about being able to achieve this long dreamt of goal has been diminished.

 

            I have wanted to be a PA for many years.  Having taken the plunge of leaving my job to go back to school full time has only solidified this goal.  This is a career formed from a history of military healthcare experience.  Where one can be a part of a team, be a medical provider, help serve an underserved community population and be challenged on a daily basis.  It also allows for not only primary care, but for being one of the last “generalists” in healthcare who can go where he or she is needed.  Or, one could also choose to specialize, with a Certification of Additional Qualifications (CAQ).  There is a need for PAs that is stronger now than when I first looked at the field over ten years ago.  It’s time to achieve this dream: It’s time to become a Physician Assistant.

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Hey, former Army medic checking in. Some things I thought of, but this is just my personal input.

 

- no need to capitalize physician assistant.

- more concrete examples i.e. instead of "where I was responsible for the care of so many" add a line or two of your roles. Not every committee member may be familiar with what a Navy corpsman's job looks like.

- scratch "lacking prerequisite courses" I just don't feel it belongs in that sentence.

- I know where you're coming from but I wouldn't say "paled in comparison" when comparing military to civilian populations. It's like two different animals.

- the last paragraph strikes me as a little buzzword-y. I'd rather read about your passion for becoming a PA shine through than the descriptions of one (I feel describing CAQs may be unnecessary)

 

That's all I can think of as far as change for now. I believe you have the potential for a very strong PS; let your experiences and passion show. I especially liked the paragraph on your time as a deputy sheriff. I hope this helps. Good luck!

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Your starting sentence/paragraph is one of the most important areas of the essay.  I would start the essay about a noteworthy experience, especially those from the military, to help grip the reader.  

 

Being a "nontraditional applicant" with a plethora of different experiences, you'll have a harder time finding the most important information to include.  But you're off to a good start. 

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