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PA Personal Statement- any pointers?


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This will be my second time around applying to PA schools.  I am planning on applying to most of the schools in the state of Florida.  I was wondering if anyone would be willing to give me some pointers or constructive criticism (bring it on!!) on my personal statement?  It's so hard to talk about yourself and not sound conceited, overly positive, or overly negative.  Thanks in advance!   

 

Personal Statement #2 2015.pdf

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Guest PALois

I have gathered information from various pre-PA websites, and blogs about personal statements and I picked out the areas I think you need to improve on! I hope this helps! 

 

1) "Physicians/medical staff don't spend as much time with their patients...

 

- Even if your dad experienced health care providers that may have not taken the time to spend time him, don’t put that in your essay. The admissions committee can made up of doctors, or any other non PAs and you don’t want to use your essay as a way to downgrade the other professions. The goal is not to make PAs out as the leading providers– this is not a competition. In healthcare everyone works as a team – so you need to show that you can be a team player. My advice is to omit the parts where you say other medical staff did not order him tests or pay attention to him and just focus on how your dad’s illness impacted you and what positive things you learned along the way. 

 

2) Do NOT dwell on one patient, family member, etc. for the entire length of the essay.

 

- For your personal statement, you only have 5000 words or less to capture the admissions team about. While it’s okay to talk about a patient, or family member that has had its impact on you, you don’t want to talk about it more than needed. 2 full paragraphs is too much. You want to make it brief yet meaningful. Remember, the essay should focus on YOU, not the other way around. My advice is include more different experiences in your essay rather than just focus on your dad’s illness. I see you worked as a Medical assistant – include your experiences with that as well.

 

 

3) If you are a re-applicant don’t re-use your entire personal statement.

 

- I noticed you said this is your second time applying to PA school. I am not sure what your previous personal statement looked like, but make sure that there are changes to it. Do not make it an exact copy. Are you applying to the same schools? If you are, I did not see you mention in your entire essay about how you changed from the previous cycles. Admissions committee need to see considerable changes to consider you the second time and your essay is the perfect place to discuss this. Did you get more HCE, improve GPA, volunteer more, learn new skills, etc.? It’s very important to show the changes you made – it shows your commitment to the profession!

 

4) Don’t tell, Show.

 

- This is the area you need to improve on the most in your essay! In your essay, you do a lot of telling. By this I mean you use the phrases, I believe this, and I will do this, my vow is this, I strive, I realized, etc. These are just vague statements that don’t mean anything. Remember this isn't politics about healthcare reform. You need to do more showing of your experiences. Remember the admissions committee does not know about your experiences – you need to show them. Don’t just say all the things you plan to do and things you learned. Make connections, go more in depth! For example in your statement you said, “I have further realized how important showing compassion and care for patients is.” Instead of just telling what you realized, show how you got to this realization. What patient experiences made you more compassionate, and more caring? Why do you believe being compassionate and caring are important to being a healthcare provider/PA.  

 

 

Here are the links I used:  (These links from actual PAs on advice for personal statements that I believe will tremendously improve with your personal statement!) They go more in depth on details to improve than I did for you so I would talk a look!)

 

http://www.thepalife.com/mistakes/

 

http://www.thepalife.com/how-to-write-the-perfect-physician-assistant-school-application-essay/

 

http://www.mypatraining.com/crafting-a-winning-pa-school-application-essay

 

http://doseofpa.blogspot.com/2014/02/caspa-personal-narrative-tips.html

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