PA First Draft

[montague-capulet]

Hello Everyone,

This is my first draft. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Parts where I am not sure are in italics or followed by parentheses. I tried following the helpful hints on this forum also followed my top school guidelines, which limits it to one page. 

 

           I cannot say that I have always wanted to be a physician assistant or even a health care professional. In fact, I am surprised I graduated high school in the first place (?delete) with the effort I gave. But here I am now, many years later, hoping someone will see me for what I am and what I can do, and look past what I am not and what I cannot do.

 

            The path that has taken me to where I am now has not always been straight, especially early on, or how I have wanted, but in the end I am in a good place (?heading in the right direction). I guess the first event that changed my path happened during my 7th and last year working in an auto body shop (yes, I did start off as a car painter). During this time, an older co-worker/mentor told me that I was still young enough to change careers and to look into college. I did, and I started taking a couple of  night classes while continuing to work during the day as I was still unsure if I wanted to change careers. At the end of semester I decided to a commitment to school and attend full-time. For some reason I liked, make that loved learning, whereas earlier in my life it just did not have the same affect on me. You can say this is when I first became hooked on learning and my thirst for knowledge has grown since and still does (?a bit too much).

 

            Why I decided to become a dietitian was a combination of factors: I was a bit overweight and wanted to lose some weight, I was into exercise and health, and about that time my dad got diagnosed with diabetes, all contributed into my decision. During my undergrad years, I felt the clinical area of dietetics was better suited for me and my interests so I moved to midwest city, state, and attended *** University's Dietetic Internship whose focus was in clinical dietetics. I learned many things from the dietitians who were my preceptors and I was very grateful that they entrusted me to cover the different ICUs during staff relief. Now not only did I know I wanted to be a clinical dietitian, but that I wanted the responsibility of covering the ICUs.

 

            Working in an ICU is an experience like no other. It is difficult and challenging, but that is what makes it so rewarding. Excluding my internship experience, I have worked in two hospitals each offering a different experience. At *** Medical Center#1, I got experience in a closed medical ICU and CVICU headed by intensivists and the cardiothoracic surgeons. At *** Medical Center#2 the situation was quite different with a single open ICU, which had trauma, surgical, neurosurgery, and medical patients, and which was managed by residents and their attending.            

 

            Even though working in the ICU is satisfying, I would say the most pleasurable event to date  was the result of a diet education to a patient with diabetes on the medical floors. A few months after the education, I received an email from the patient thanking me for the education. Apparently, the patient had lost a good deal of weight and his diabetes was more under control. In addition, his wife who was also present during the education had also managed to lose some weight by following the same general consistent carbohydrate principles.

 

            While working as a clinical dietitian and participating in interdisciplinary rounds is great, I feel I could do more. As a dietitian, there is only so much I can do and the scope of practice is limited. This is why I want to be a physician assistant. As a PA, I would have a more direct role in many of the patient's problems and have greater responsibility in the patient's care. Currently, the areas that I would like to specialize in as a PA include, not surprisingly, internal medicine,  transplant, trauma, surgery, and critical care. Hopefully, after PA school, I plan on pursuing a one-year post-graduate fellowship in one of these areas.

[PACMAN012]

It's not nearly enough to allow a reader to understand why you're choosing PA instead of the other healthcare professions that give you a greater role with patients. You've established that you went from being not academic oriented to academically oriented with maturation. Great. Then you described your journey with becoming a dietitian and how the working experience lead you to the PA career.

 

Congratulations on your current success, but you're going to have to do some more soul searching and research to know exactly why you want to become a PA.

 

I'd suggest shadowing a PA if you haven't already. In your new revised personal essay you're going to want to name more aspects unique to the PA profession than just a vague desire for a greater scope of practice.

 

You're going to want to 1. Show that you're knowledgeable and have done your research. 2. Convey the passion for using your valuable education to examining/treating/diagnosing/operating patients and your compassion for them. 3. Convey the skill set you bring with your experience as a dietitian. Etc. read sample essays out there.

 

They usually start with a profound story of patient interaction and then goes on to discuss how they arrived at the conclusion of "I want to be a PA." In addition, include how your past adversities and experiences have given you the preparation and motivation required to be successful in a rigorous PA program.

 

Remember you're selling yourself to be the right candidate to uphold a PA program's reputation. Good luck!

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[montague-capulet]

Thank you gnauhandy. I completely agree with what you had to say.

[Guest PALois]

Hi, 

 

Hopefully my advice will help make your draft better, so here goes! ---- To begin, omit the introduction to your essay completely. PA schools want to know how you did in college, so there is no point in talking about high school! Also when you say "In fact, I am surprised I graduated high school in the first place with the effort I gave" you are belittling yourself to the admissions committee which is not something you want to do. They want read about someone who admits to their academic mistakes from the past, but also shows that they are confident in who they are now and the changes they made to get there. Don't doubt yourself - past or present, and don't give the admissions committee a chance to do so! Here are two great sites written by PAs (if you haven't already seen them) that go in detail on how to write the perfect personal statement. Hope this helps! 

 

http://www.mypatraining.com/pa-school-essay-2

 

http://www.thepalife.com/mistakes/